1. Inside your typical Texan diner. Two figures sit at a booth, the dry environment outside visible from a large window. We see Owen Reece, aka The Molecule Man in a booth. We are looking at Owen over the shoulder of a man’s silhouette. A mug holding some tea is placed just in front of the stranger on the table. Owen is clasping a mug of his own with two hands. He is staring at the table, but at the same time looking at nothing at all. A blank expression covers his face.
OWEN
How is your tea?
STRANGER
Nice. Gone a little cold though.
How is your tea?
STRANGER
Nice. Gone a little cold though.
2. Owen’s gaze shifts from the table to the cup of tea in front of the stranger.
3. Steam begins to emit from the cup of tea, as it has been heated.
STRANGER
How did you do that?
OWEN
I shook the water molecules in the cup so they would heat.
STRANGER
You can shake molecules?
How did you do that?
OWEN
I shook the water molecules in the cup so they would heat.
STRANGER
You can shake molecules?
4. Owen returns his gaze to the same spot on the table.
OWEN
Shake, reform, manipulate. You may see a wooden table in front of us. I see millions of molecules, made up of six carbon, ten hydrogen and five oxygen atoms all held together with hydrogen bonds. Take away some atoms, and this table that you’re resting your tea on is water. Even looking at you, all I can see is a complex molecular structure.
Shake, reform, manipulate. You may see a wooden table in front of us. I see millions of molecules, made up of six carbon, ten hydrogen and five oxygen atoms all held together with hydrogen bonds. Take away some atoms, and this table that you’re resting your tea on is water. Even looking at you, all I can see is a complex molecular structure.
5.Owen looks up at the stranger.
OWEN
Your thoughts and emotions are all controlled by the hormones coursing through your body. Hormones made up of molecules.
(a break in the speech bubbles here).
OWEN
I can do anything with them. People, cities, “super heroes” – they’re all just molecules. And I can control it all.
Your thoughts and emotions are all controlled by the hormones coursing through your body. Hormones made up of molecules.
(a break in the speech bubbles here).
OWEN
I can do anything with them. People, cities, “super heroes” – they’re all just molecules. And I can control it all.
STRANGER
Awesome.
Awesome.
6. Owen returns to his thoughts, his gaze once again finding the spot of nothing on the table.
OWEN
God I’m bored.
STRANGER
So that’s why I found you naked in the desert?
OWEN
I’d just finished reforming myself at a sub-molecular level.
God I’m bored.
STRANGER
So that’s why I found you naked in the desert?
OWEN
I’d just finished reforming myself at a sub-molecular level.
7. The panel now switches, so we are now looking over Owen’s shoulder, and can see the stranger with whom he has been talking. It is Deadpool.
DEADPOOL
Well, how about next time you reform yourself some pants?
Well, how about next time you reform yourself some pants?
8. We are back to looking over Deadpool’s shoulder, at Owen. He looks up at Deadpool, this time with a half smirk on his face.
The rest of the story is a “Buddy Road Trip” type of story, as the two travel through America. I just really like the idea of a person with God-like power being bored out of his brain because of them, and an invulnerable out of his mind assassin on a road trip.
Nice, you set-up a great premise.
ReplyDeleteBut wouldn't Deadpool's yellow balloons spoil his identity before time? Do they always have to be yellow? I don't know.
Goooooood point. Hm....should have really thought of that. Dang.
ReplyDeleteI think Deadpool's thoughts only invade the story when it is from his point of view, and I would have them forcibly take control of the narrative at some later point in the story. Right now, we are just looking at Molecule Man.
ReplyDeleteThis is pretty good. With panels 3-5 I would have included them together as one big panel with the room broken up in atomic symbols and molecular structures, it would be far more engaging. I'm assuming that panels 2 and 8 are pretty small, so this should fit on a page.
Linking Molecule Man is a pretty good idea, they're the original odd couple. Nicely done.
Loved this, brilliant premise!
ReplyDeleteThis is much stronger than your previous piece, with the pacing down just about right. I'm impressed
ReplyDeleteI would like to add, for the record, that you had me at the rest of the story is a “Buddy Road Trip”. I would definitely read this.
ReplyDeleteOne thing you have to be careful about -- in long conversations with little action, you've got to have some compelling visuals to keep people interested. I think one page like this is probably all right, but if their conversation continues onto the next page I would want to see something new. Even just some interesting facial expressions, or new views of the bar.
Thanks guys,
ReplyDelete@James - I see your point. In my head the very next page would be a splash, with Deadpool hanging out the window of a jeep as Owen drives it down a desert highway. Deadpool would be yelling "ROAD TRIP".
I know I can be a bit length-y with my wording. Just something I need help to iron out. That's where you guys come in.
Crazy in a good way. Would read this.
ReplyDeleteGod, I love that idea, Ben. As many Deadpool comics as there are on the market right now, I'd buy that one in a second. That's probably the most dangerous character someone like MM could ever team up with... particularly if they started breaking the 4th wall together.
ReplyDeleteI am not a fan of Deadpool - he's a pretty one-note character who tends to be allowed to take over any comic he appears in - but this page is pitched just right, and I could see a comic that maintains a tone like this consistently totally working.
ReplyDeleteMM's powers are ridiculous in scale, and in most modern comics they'd kind of force a gravity and seriousness that means we never really see a writer cut loose on the more surreal nature of such a power, the way they could in a Deadpool team-up book. At the same time, having someone with a teeny, tiny little bit of impulse control working Deadpool would be a refreshing change for the character, and I'd probably read it.
Nice work, dude!
I know nothing about this character and this was a brilliant introduction.
ReplyDelete