Thursday, June 24, 2010

Superman - Related - Max Barnard

Premise: Mon-El and Superman are flying across Kansas, having a good ole chat. There's not much more to it, other than the need to point out that when Mon-El first appeared he was thought to be Superman's brother, and that since the two have been through a lot, including Mon-El returning and becoming Jonathan Kent, Clark's cousin, in the wake of Pa Kent's death.


Page 1 - 6 Panels

1-- Mon-El and Superman are flying up above the clouds. A decent trajectory to get a good look at them in this panel would be if they were going towards the reader, so we can get a clear look at their faces.

SPEECH BUBBLE/MON-EL - Do you remember when we first met?

SPEECH BUBBLE/SUPERMAN - Mmm. Back when I thought you were my older brother. Ha, I even went as far as to name you!

2-- We focus on Mon-El looking at Superman now, with a large grin on his face.

SPEECH BUBBLE/MON-EL - Ahaha! And after a day of the week, no less. Not the most creative child, I must say!

SPEECH BUBBLE/SUPERMAN - Hey, YOU try coming up with a name for someone who fell from the sky. Although... Ah... My family managed that quite easily with me...

3-- Both supermen are now veering down through the clouds.

SPEECH BUBBLE/MON-EL - Works for you! They called me Bob Cobb. Still, I have your father's name now, so I shouldn't think back on that. And, erm, about that. I wanted to tell y-

4-- Below the clouds now, Superman has stopped and has his hand in front of Mon-El, instructing him to cease flying. Superman is craning his ear to hear something. I'd hazard that this would look best from a side view of the characters, but really as long as we can see Superman's action here it will work fine.

SPEECH BUBBLE/SUPERMAN - Hold on Jon, there's a volcano erupting in Iceland, we'll talk after dealing with that.

5-- Both are now flying full speed now, with their trademark colour schemes trailing behind them.

SPEECH BUBBLE/MON-EL - Okay, but I just wanted you to know...

6-- The two coloured blurs are now approaching the erupting icelandic volcano, with the fading trails of colour spiraling behind them. The reader is probably best seeing this from an isometric/bird's-eye view, the characters moving from the foreground into the background.

TEXT BOX/MON-EL - ...I'm glad to finally be related to you, cousin.


  1. Interesting script, Max. I always knew you were a big fat lame-o. Ha, it's nice to see you inject some serious heart onto the page. Very family loved-up as I imagine each panel.

    Nice use of Gyhohdohphshahaha - or whatever that volcano's name was.

  2. A solid character piece Max. Well done.

  3. Ah, Max, you obviously have far more affection for this character than some of the rest of us!

    Mon El was named after a day of the week? Really?

  4. @Rol I actually don't much care for Superman at all. I mean he's the star of one of my fave comics ever (Kryptonite) but that's as far as it goes. So I completely cheated and made it about Mon-El.

    Who, yes, is TOTALLY named after Monday. Superman #80 I believe, one of the best comics I've read on sheer 'what the' factor!

  5. Enjoyed this, Max, good stuff.

    I would've liked to have seen more interaction between Mon-El and Kal-El in the Superman titles - if DC isn't gonna do it, glad you offered *something!*

  6. Hey Max. Great script, I enjoyed seeing a change in the usual comedic tone you take, and you nailed the sentimental tone in my opinion.


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