Sunday, July 25, 2010

The Penguin - Guests Posts


It seems we have some very talented readers within the thoughtballoons community who like to play along at home and post their own scripts. This week they've posted their scripts in the comments section on the Why Penguin? post, but I thought it would be nice to give them some play up here too, so hit the jump to read 'Gone Fishin'' and 'I Couldn't Draw To Save My Life' from Danial Carroll (the man also responsible for the wicked new banner we've been using these past few weeks). And in future, if you want to play at home post your scripts in that character's Why? post and we'll comment on it and maybe I'll even do another post like this, if I get the time.


I have to admit, seeing readers and commenters add scripts was a big reason I started this project. I wanted to see people become involved, I wanted as many people as possible to grow as comic scripters but to also enjoy comic scripting. I'm hoping we'll only continue to get more scripts go up as the weeks go by, and this coming week's character lends himself to all sorts of great stories.

“GONE FISHIN’” by Danial Carroll

PANEL ONE
The Penguin--aka Oswald Cobblepot-- is sitting in an old-style smoking chair in a darkened den. Silhouetted at the window is Catwoman, tapping at the glass.

SFX: TINK TINK TINK

PANEL TWO
From her POV, we see Oswald leaning around the chair.

PENGUIN: Selina. What can I do for you this evening?

PANEL THREE
Close-up on Catwoman, smiling cheekily.

CATWOMAN: I have a present for you, Oswald--It’s at the front door.

PANEL FOUR
From a low angle we see Penguin standing at the open front door, looking down at the ground. Catwoman’s shadow can be seen on the wall next to him.

PENGUIN: Ah, fish, my favourite. You know me all too well, my dear. Let us bring it into the kitchen.

PANEL FIVE
Catwoman and Penguin are standing in the kitchen looking down at the bench between them.

CATWOMAN: I scooped it out of Gotham River just this morning.
PENGUIN: And you thought you’d share it with me? How thoughtful.
CATWOMAN: You’re a better cook than I.
PENGUIN: Ah, this is true.
CATWOMAN: So any ideas on how to prepare it?

PANEL SIX, PAGE-WIDTH
We see a wide-shot of the scene, revealing Aquaman lying unconscious on the bench. Penguin is holding up an umbrella with a blade shooting up from its tip and both are smiling evilly.

SFX: SHIIK
PENGUIN: Filleted, I believe.

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NOTE: I have to thank my girlfriend for this one. When I was pondering over what to write for "The Penguin", she jokingly suggested, "Why don't you have him fight with Catwoman over a fish?" I smiled, replying, "That's it! You're a genius" : )
 and

 “I COULDN’T DRAW TO SAVE MY LIFE” by Danial Carroll

PANEL ONE
A man is casually walking along a footpath, passing a dark alley.

PANEL TWO
Close-up on the man’s shocked face. He has a flipper-like hand covering his mouth.

PANEL THREE
The man is pulled quickly into the alley.

PANEL FOUR
From the man’s POV, kneeling on the ground, we see The Penguin standing before him. He is pointing an umbrella at the man with one hand and holding out a paper and pencil with the other.

PENGUIN: Draw me a picture of Superman… flying through Metropolis.

PANEL FIVE
We see the man, kneeling before The Penguin. He’s taking the paper and pencil.

MAN: What? Why?
PENGUIN: Just do it! This umbrella’s loaded. Don’t make me use it.

PANEL SIX
The man is drawing on the paper.

MAN: OK. OK.

PANEL SEVEN, PAGE-WIDTH
We see a close-up of a crudely-drawn sketch of Superman, flying through a city.

MAN (O/P): Here.

PANEL EIGHT
The Penguin is shaking his head.

PENGUIN: That’s just not good enough.

PANEL NINE
The Penguin is pointing the umbrella at the man.

PENGUIN: Waugh. Too bad.

PANEL TEN
The same shot as the last but with the umbrella firing.

SFX: BOOM

[I know, it's silly and pointless, but I had to do it ;-)]

2 comments:

Feedback is what every good writer wants and needs, so please provide it in the white box below
-OR-
If you want to play along at home, feel free to put your scripts under the Why? post for the week.