He needs no introduction. He is arguably the world’s most popular superhero. He’s certainly easier for the average reader or movie-goer to identify with than the lone survivor of an alien race or the grim millionaire vigilante. He is the everyman superhero with feet of clay. He makes mistakes, he lets people down, he catches the flu and breaks his arm and loses his temper… and there’s nobody more unlucky in love.
And yet, he never stops trying. When life gives him lemons, Peter Parker makes the sweetest lemonade you’ll ever taste. He never forgets the fundamental lesson his Uncle Ben taught him, that with great power comes great responsibility. Spider-Man is an inspiration to us all…
I certainly hope he’ll provide plenty of inspiration to my fellow thoughtballooners this week.
Spider-Man? Can't skip that.
ReplyDeleteI really like that image. I love it when an artist chooses to color his costume black instead of blue.
IDLE HANDS
ReplyDeletePANEL ONE, PAGE WIDTH
Close up of Spider-Man’s masked eyes.
CAPTION: I often wonder if we Super-heroes place too much emphasis on costumes.
CAPTION: I mean, if I were to wear someone else’s…
CAPTION: Would people still know it was me?
CAPTION: Or would they just assume it was someone new, like--
PANEL TWO
We see a close up of Foggy Nelson’s face. Spider-Man’s hand is slapping a post-it note onto his forehead. Foggy’s eyes are crossed upwards trying to see the note.
SFX: PWAP
PANEL THREE
Close up of the note, reading: “I’ll have it dry-cleaned! – Spidey”
PANEL FOUR, PAGE WIDTH
We see Spider-Man, swinging through the sky in his trademark way, though with Daredevil’s costume over to top of his own.
CAPTION: --Dare-Man!
CAPTION: No, wait--
CAPTION: THE AMAZING SPIDER-DEVIL!
Daniel, that's pretty hilarious, and I could only see Spidey wanting to try it out and then making it work. This made me laugh, that's for sure. Thanks for the script, good to see another person playing at home.
ReplyDeleteHey Daniel, I liked it. Bought back memories of the fantastic Bag-Man.
ReplyDeleteGood stuff!
Oh, that's excellent! I was definitely laughing at the end.
ReplyDeleteThanks. Glad you all like it!
ReplyDeleteDanial, that was pretty good!
ReplyDeleteWell, here's my effort. While I don't feel I got Spider-Man's "voice" just right, I do believe it sets an interesting plot.
Original format: http://docs.google.com/document/pub?id=1inC4ubogdUZ88VQGVKnk7pe64b7u0eEqbAKy8AaBBTs
--------------------------------------------
“Spider-Man: Metal”– script by Ivan Antonio
Context: current comic book time.
This is a 5-panel page. The top half of the page is a simple 2 x 2 grid. The bottom half is one big panel.
Panel 1. Police car rushing to a scene, viewed from the top.
Caption: IF WHAT I HEARD FROM LUKE IS RIGHT, THESE GUYS BETTER PRAY I GET THERE BEFORE THEM.
Caption: THE WITNESSES’ REPORTS DESCRIBE A BLACK BUT SHINY FIGURE BUSTING SOME SORT OF ILLEGAL WEAPONS TRADE, AND HILARITY ENSUING.
Panel 2. Spider-Man swinging through the air. Go nuts.
Caption: “HILARITY” MEANING A BRIEF SHOOTOUT FOLLOWED BY SOUL-FREEZING SCREAMS, THEN SILENCE.
Caption: SO ACCORDING TO MODUS-OPERANDI AND VISUAL REPORTS I JUST USED THE WORD “HILARIOUS” TO DESCRIBE VENOM, AND I APOLOGIZE FOR THAT.
Panel 3. Spider-Man approaching a warehouse’s broken window.
Caption: EXCEPT THAT TIME WHEN I PULLED OUT HIS TONGUE. THAT WAS ACTUALLY PRETTY FUNNY.
Caption: HEH HEH
Caption: BROCK’S FACE THROUGH THE SYMBIOTE’S HOLE IS PROBABLY MY FONDEST MEMORY OF OL’ EDDIE.
Panel 4. Close-up on Spidey’s face as he looks down on the crime scene. Do your best to make him look disgusted/concerned through the mask.
Caption: OH GOD.
Caption: NOW I KINDA WISH IT WAS ACTUALLY VENOM.
Panel 5. Now we see what Spidey saw. A few dead mobsters on the floor, some blood on the floor and walls. But focus our view on the central figure of the Panel, the Steel Spider. He looks like he did during Ellis’ run on Thunderbolts, except his chewed off arm was replaced by a really amateur-looking graft of steel spider limbs. Make it look gross, infected and stuff.
Steel Spider: SPIDER-MAN? OH, THANK GOD IT’S YOU.
Steel Spider: IT WASN’T ME SPIDEY, IT WAS THE ARMS! YOU GOTTA BELIEVE ME!
Steel Spider: HELP ME, SPIDER-MAN! HELP ME!
Caption: OH, OLLIE...
I think the "voice" is the hardest part of any script/story, even with characters of your own making.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure how many people here know of the author H.P. Lovecraft, but I'm a HUGE fan and thought one of his more popular stories would make for a cool cross-over. I've entitled it...
ReplyDelete"A SPIDER OUT OF TIME"
PANEL ONE
Spider-Man swings through NYC. His Spider-sense is alerting and he looks concerned.
CAPTION: The day began much like any other.
SPIDER-MAN: What the--
PANEL TWO
Spider-Man falls to the ground, bouncing off a nearby building in the process. Pedestrians below are pointing up at him.
CAPTION: That was until--
PANEL THREE
Spider-Man lays unconscious on the footpath. A Good Samaritan is kneeling over him.
SAMARITAN: Spider-Man?
PANEL FOUR
We see a POV of a strange room, half-darkened and out of focus.
CAPTION: What just happened?
PANEL FIVE
Same view as previous panel, though now fully visible and in focus.
CAPTION: Where am I?
SPIDER-MAN: Ugh.
CAPTION: And why can't I move?
PANEL SIX
We see another POV, looking down at a strange machine that is encasing his body.
VOICE (O/P): Please don't struggle. You are not here to be harmed. Your consciousness has been transferred here.
PANEL SEVEN, PAGE WIDTH
We see a wide view of the room revealing two bizarre, cone-shaped alien creatures. One is held in a machine (Spidey), while the other stands before it.
ALIEN: ... though it is only temporary.
SPIDER-MAN: What have you done?! Put me back in me!
From here, the story on Spidey's end would pretty-much follow the original story, with him learning why he's there and such, whilst back in the present, the alien in Peter's body would have to come to terms with his abilities, at the same time carrying out his mission of documenting our time. As far as everyone else is concerned, Spider-Man would simply appear to have amnesia, which in itself could provide plenty of plot opportunities.
@Ivan - great use of the Steel Spider, that's the sort of story Marvel needs to have used already. I thought some of the captions came across as needing some polish but the layout and idea was great.
ReplyDelete@Daniel - two scripts in a few days, trying to be the most prolific around here, hey? It's awesome to have you back with a second treat. And a treat it is, Lovecraft meets Spidey, always going to be cool. I found myself a little lost as to what was actually happening because if you only read the panels, and not their descriptions (much like the reader of the comic has to), I find that some information doesn't seem to be completely trasferred. I think making the page from the point of view of the aliens would clear that up completely. Then it would go on to no doubt be an awesome story. Very cool work.
Thanks for the feedback! I admit, the whole idea was a bit rushed. From conception to delivery was about 2hrs, so I didn't really put much thought into polish. When you say "the point of view of the aliens", do you mean visually, or just the captioning/voice-over?
ReplyDelete@Daniel - yeah, keep the panels the same but have the captions be from the aliens, I think that would give the reader a bit more exposition.
ReplyDeleteCool. I'll give it a go!
ReplyDeleteIn the meantime, here's the page (as it was written) for others to visualise: http://yfrog.com/1a9ohj
Well done Danial my friend.... love the spidey humour!
ReplyDeleteTHE HUNT
ReplyDeletePANEL ONE:
Rats by the droves scramble through an underground railway.
PANEL TWO: Our hero Spider-Man clings to the roof of a train as it thunders down the tracks.
CAPTION: Something’s coming. I’ve been tracking it since the early hours of this morning, something…not right…something evil.
PANEL THREE:
A close up of a smug expression from Spider-Man.
CAPTION: Bingo!
PANEL FOUR:
webs shoot upwards.
PANEL FIVE:
A sewer hole is sent flying as Spider-Man makes his grand entrance above ground.
PANEL SIX:
An astonished young boy tugs at his mother’s dress.
CAPTION: Look mum! Spider-Man!
PANEL SEVEN:
Spider-Man stands in a front on position, arms outstretched.
PANEL EIGHT:
A truck stops right in front of Spider-Man.
PANEL NINE:
A confused driver leans out the window.
CAPTION: Spider-Man?
PANEL TEN:
CAPTION: I’m sorry sir, but I’m going to have to ask you to leave your vehicle.
CAPTION: Uh…sure, whatever you say but I doubt you’ll find anything of interest, just the week’s newspapers.
PANEL TEN:
We see yet another close up of smugness from Spider-Man.
CAPTION: Exactly.
PANEL ELEVEN:
Front on view of Spider-Man in the driver’s seat.
CAPTION: Note to self, never drink….AGAIN!!
PANEL TWELVE:
We see a bundle of newspapers from within the back of the truck.
PANEL THIRTEEN:
A close up is seen of a coupon on the front page that reads:
Peter Parker Photography presents:
90% off all photos, INDEFINITELY!
FIN.
Just on a technical note, besides perhaps panels 2 and 11, I think "CAPTION:" is meant to be the speaking-character's name. Otherwise, I think you've captured the humour of Spidey pretty well.
ReplyDeleteOh... and you wrote "PANEL TEN" twice :-P
ReplyDeleteThanks for the assistance sir. Ah panel 10 twice, that's what I get for writting late into the night haha. also at the end of the script spidey says "Note to self, never drink...AGAIN!!" he could also say "Note to self, never drink with Tony Stark...AGAIN!!"
ReplyDeleteSo here is my attempt. Just kind of fun and breezy, always loved these two characters together.
ReplyDelete-------------
In his latest attempt to re-capture the Sandman, our friendly neighborhood hero enlists the help of former belle (and constant flirtation device - ED) Black Cat, who knows a thing or two about bank robbing.
PAGE ONE
1 - Spidey, is standing against a wall, looking down to the vast city landscape below. Around his waist, are the legs of Black Cat, who herself is hanging upside down also looking around.
Black Cat: Tell me again Spider. Why am I hanging around here, possibly getting sand in my litterbox when I could be doing well, anything else.
Spider-Man: That's very punny. (small font)See what I did there? (/small font) You're here, Cat, because I need your expertise.
2 - Far away panel, showing the expanse of New York City below.
Black Cat: Can't you just, throw some water at this guy and let that be that?
Spider-Man: Tried that.
3 - Cat pulls herself up, bringing her mouth inches from his.
Black Cat: I don't know about you Spider, but I can think of a few other things we could be doing right now.
Spider-Man: *gulp* A few?
4 - Black Cat nods.
Spider-Man: Like w-
5 - A siren goes off somewhere in the streets below. Spider-Man's handy Spider Sense going off in response.
Black Cat: Shame. Maybe later.
Black Cat leans back and lets go, falling upside down to the metropolis below.
Damn, Doug, that's a pretty fine script you've got there. You nail the interplay between the Spider and the Cat, it's very well done.
ReplyDeleteI love that final panel image, would work perfectly. And the jokes here are actually funny. You're welcome back here any time, mate.
Thanks for the kind words Ryan and I will definitely stick around. Will be more of a challenge writing for characters that I don't know as well as I know the Spidey characters (Amazing is my favorite comic series of all time, through the good and bad, haha) but it should be fun learning who some of the characters are. Also, love reading everyone's thought balloons and getting the different takes on the character, you all are doing a great job!
ReplyDeleteNice one, Doug! Your writing's really dynamic -- I get a really clear mental image without you having to go into too much detail. As an artist, I really appreciate that. I'm glad to hear you'll be sticking around, and I look forward to seeing what else you come up with.
ReplyDeleteI'm not really familiar with Black Cat but I liked it nontheless. Their chemistry was great.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you on the up-coming characters. I think the less we know about them, the more creative we will be because we won't have any preconceived ideas.