PANEL 1- Frank Castle shoots a man in the chest, who falls to the ground.
Caption: It burns you up inside, doesn't it, Frank?
PANEL 2- Frank Castle has his arms around a man's neck. In the background, a woman
with blond hair is in tears, reaching out to ask him to let him go.
Caption: But you know that no amount of death will bring them back.
PANEL 3- Frank Castle dangles a man over a cliff.
Caption: To you, they are all criminals.
PANEL 4- A sniper rifle sight is aimed at Frank Castle's back.
Caption: They call you The Punisher.
PANEL 5- From a rooftop A beautiful woman with blond hair is poised with a sniper gun. Frank Castle's back is facing her. She looks extremely angry.
Caption: "Judge not, lest ye yourself be judged..."
The first thing that came to my mind when I read this was that Nietzsche quote:
ReplyDelete"He who fights monsters must take care lest he become a monster. When you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss gazes into you."
So I'm taking that to mean the page works ; )
What a great page, It says a lot about frank without really saying anything. Good stuff man! I love what you guys have going on over here, I'd love to get in on some of this action!
ReplyDeleteKeep up the good work guys
This is lacking in details. some sense of where each panel is would help give the artist an idea on what to draw other than the characters on a blank background (save panel 3, where there'd also be a cliff). Unless that's the intention, which presents an interesting focus to the piece.
ReplyDeletePanel 5 presents issues for me as well. Is she holding up the sniper rifle whose sights we were looking through? If so what indication do we get in panel 5 that it's still pointed at Frank? Is she close enough that we're getting an over the shoulder view of her aiming, is Frank reflected in the sights? If it's the latter is she atop a building aiming down at him? There's too much stuff here that's just ill-defined.
It has the makings of something truly brilliant (as fans of Lynn Michaels the Lady Punisher will surely tell you), and it's a shame that I have to break balls instead of praising the piece
Flip- Don't worry I did three years of creative workshops at uni, I'm used to it ;)
ReplyDeleteAlso working on a webcomic my experience is artists generally like room for interpretation, so I tend to focus on the story and the action rather than the panel layout in a first draft.
But you were totally right on the fifth panel so I've edited that.
Will, this is a great little idea, and I'm wondering if it's relatively been done before. I'd assume for that last panel we're looking at Castle and the lady is in the background and I think that would work pretty well.
ReplyDeleteThis kind of reminds me of the b-side script I'm going to put up on my site this week.
@Often - anytime you want to post a script in the Why..? post feel free to man, we've got plenty of others doing that as well.
Cool, thanks Ryan, I came across this place a while ago and really liked the idea behind it. I've recently begun writing again and I'm currently writing my own comic book at the moment so I could use the practice and would love to try it out with some different characters. I've been working on a catwoman project a friend of mine has up on facebook (I can give you guys info if you want it) and thats been a lot of fun working with an established character.
ReplyDeleteShould I just post up scripts in the comments box?
Often
@Often - yeah, mate, just throw them in the comments of the Why? post for that week's character. Can't wait to have yet another cummunal player. Cheers.
ReplyDeleteA nice set up, however I agree with Max. Having said that,m I have never worked with an artist so I wouldn't know how much detail they would need.
ReplyDeleteRegardless, good work.