Thursday, August 12, 2010

The Question - A Question Of Doubt - Ryan K Lindsay

1. A young girl, maybe about 14 but mature for her age, stands at the mouth of an alley. She has her hands in the pockets of her almost baggy pants. Her hooded sweatshirt is open, her hair is back in a pony tail. She is the tomboy who wants to be pretty, or the pretty girl who wants to be a tomboy. Her name is Liz.
Caption: No one understands the guys they see in spandex doing what they can only dream about.

2. The girl is walking down the alley with her head down.
Caption: They’re pegged as role models but most guys know they can’t do that sort of thing. Unless you’re born with a jaw you could set your watch to it’s a bit much to ask.

3. The girl is looking across to her right, we are watching her from behind still.
Caption: So I just assumed I wouldn’t really mean anything to anyone either.
Caption: Who would want to follow the path I’ve travelled?

4. The girl is crouched down and looking into a pile of trash and bins and junk.
Caption: But I’ve been blind, everyone is someone’s role model; it’s silly to think otherwise.

5. We are looking over Liz’s shoulder at Renee Montoya’s face, bruised, battered, and only partially covered by the mask of the Question.
Caption: Just me being here will inspire this girl to become something she had never dreamed of.
Caption: Because of me she’ll be dead in the next 36 hours. And I’ll have only one clue to find her killer.


  1. I don't get the last caption, but I'm intrigued nonetheless. Awesome work! It seems all of you here are masters of noir.

  2. I wanted the girl to be inspired and go on her own female vigilante mission, and end up dead for it and Renee to feel guilty as she tracks along the case.

  3. Ah, OK. That would indeed be a nice set-up : )

  4. Conversely, the last caption was the one that made this for me - a really strong noir hook.

    I struggled with the opening captions though - the 'theys', the 'guys'... I had to read them a couple of times to catch the meaning. Not 100% sure about the 'jaw you can set your watch to' either. Maybe I'm just having a bad day.

    But I did like that last panel hook.


Feedback is what every good writer wants and needs, so please provide it in the white box below
If you want to play along at home, feel free to put your scripts under the Why? post for the week.