Buffy The Vampire Slayer - What The Hell Is Mr. Pointy? - Max Barnard

Buffy The Vampire Slayer - What The Hell Is Mr. Pointy? - Max Barnard

The Premise: I got nothing. Enjoy this completely ill-informed script that proves beyond a doubt that a non-fan can break a beloved character....'s neck.

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Page 1 - 7 Panels

1-- A (male) Vampire is being kicked in the head in a darkened alleyway by Buffy Summers.

SFX/HEADKICK - KLONK

SPEECH BUBBLE/A VAMPIRE - Gack!


2-- Buffy is standing over the vampire, stake at the ready to plunge into his chest. The Vampire is rubbing his head in pain, looking up at Buffy.

SPEECH BUBBLE/BUFFY SUMMERS - Time you met my special friend. I call him Mr. Pointy!

SPEECH BUBBLE/A VAMPIRE - Mr... Wait, what? That just sounds wrong.


3-- Buffy has her hands on her hips, looking decidedly frustrated by the vampire. The vampire is getting up off the floor.

SPEECH BUBBLE/BUFFY SUMMERS - Nuh-uh! It's totally normal for the hard long object given to me by another, more experienced girl to have a name like that!

SPEECH BUBBLE/A VAMPIRE - ... Um... No, that's exactly the sort of thing that would sound wrong.


4-- Buffy is now in arms-spread outrage, shouting at the anonymous vampire. The vampire himself is standing up and brushing himself off.

SPEECH BUBBLE/BUFFY SUMMERS - SHUT UP! YOU DON'T KNOW ME *OR* MR. POINTY!

SPEECH BUBBLE/A VAMPIRE - You're right, I really don't. But then...


5-- The vampire break Buffy's neck with a twist, her face that of some understandable shock.

SFX/NECK BREAKING - KER-SNAPPLE

SPEECH BUBBLE/A VAMPIRE - I'm not a fan.


6-- The vampire walks away from Buffy's body (and the reader), which is slumped on the floor, lifeless face staring at the reader.


7-- Same as before, except that the Vampire has made it to the end of the alley, and is doing a little leap, clicking his heels together.

CAPTION/NARRATION - END.