Buffy The Vampire Slayer - What The Hell Is Mr. Pointy? - Max Barnard
The Premise: I got nothing. Enjoy this completely ill-informed script that proves beyond a doubt that a non-fan can break a beloved character....'s neck.
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Page 1 - 7 Panels
1-- A (male) Vampire is being kicked in the head in a darkened alleyway by Buffy Summers.
SFX/HEADKICK - KLONK
SPEECH BUBBLE/A VAMPIRE - Gack!
2-- Buffy is standing over the vampire, stake at the ready to plunge into his chest. The Vampire is rubbing his head in pain, looking up at Buffy.
SPEECH BUBBLE/BUFFY SUMMERS - Time you met my special friend. I call him Mr. Pointy!
SPEECH BUBBLE/A VAMPIRE - Mr... Wait, what? That just sounds wrong.
3-- Buffy has her hands on her hips, looking decidedly frustrated by the vampire. The vampire is getting up off the floor.
SPEECH BUBBLE/BUFFY SUMMERS - Nuh-uh! It's totally normal for the hard long object given to me by another, more experienced girl to have a name like that!
SPEECH BUBBLE/A VAMPIRE - ... Um... No, that's exactly the sort of thing that would sound wrong.
4-- Buffy is now in arms-spread outrage, shouting at the anonymous vampire. The vampire himself is standing up and brushing himself off.
SPEECH BUBBLE/BUFFY SUMMERS - SHUT UP! YOU DON'T KNOW ME *OR* MR. POINTY!
SPEECH BUBBLE/A VAMPIRE - You're right, I really don't. But then...
5-- The vampire break Buffy's neck with a twist, her face that of some understandable shock.
SFX/NECK BREAKING - KER-SNAPPLE
SPEECH BUBBLE/A VAMPIRE - I'm not a fan.
6-- The vampire walks away from Buffy's body (and the reader), which is slumped on the floor, lifeless face staring at the reader.
7-- Same as before, except that the Vampire has made it to the end of the alley, and is doing a little leap, clicking his heels together.
CAPTION/NARRATION - END.
haha Your Panel Six is pretty-much identical to my Panel Eight, how funny that we both had the same idea. You just killed her faster : P
ReplyDeleteclearly we both just want her dead ahahaha
ReplyDeleteMax - you mock her and you kill her. That's a two-fer, harsh, man, harsh, but I like the vampiure shrugging himself off.
ReplyDeleteWow. Just wow. I don't know what to say. You guys really don't like Buffy, eh?
ReplyDeleteI'm just glad I wasn't the only one, or I would have felt evil : )
ReplyDeleteBut... but... but...
ReplyDeleteAwww.