Casanova Quinn – Admitting You Have A Problem – Ryan K Lindsay

1. Zephyr Quinn walks out of an orgy hall, it’s a room full of writhing, naked, men and women. The room has an animal theme, people with fake ears, tails, someone wearing an elephant trunk (though nothing else).

Caption: Nothing, just a bunch of pages. Waiting to be turned, to be forgotten or burned with the rest of history written by the wrong winners. Tragic like a clown with a limp dick.
Zephyr: You’re just so desperately shit at life.

2. Zephyr stops at a patio facing an Italian vista of glorious beauty.

Caption: I’m going to need Cass, not these peons.

3. Close on Zephyr’s face, she’s smiling like she just figured out what an orgasm is.

Caption: Because no less will sate me, I’ve gone to the 666.

4. Zephyr still stands at the patio but now we can see a table setting out there, and a wild looking Casanova Quinn sits there with a Mint Julep in front of him. He’s got slightly longer hair than the usual Cass, and longer sideburns. He’s wearing a shirt with rolled up sleeves below a vest and nice tie. We can see tattoos down his left forearm.

Caption: Yeah, I learnt a thing or two rolling with Xeno. I got me some Fakebook skills. I don’t like to brag.
Zephyr: You ready?

5. Casanova stands up and has a blade drawn in his hand, there is a spread of psychic squid coming out from around him. Zephyr has her psychic snakes at the ready behind her.

Caption: This will be my fifth Cass this month. I’ve got a problem.
Casanova: Ha, vile strumpet, are you?
Casanova: I’m going to leave you only feeling the vibrations of music because to have it enter any orifice will simply hurt too much.
Caption: And I love my sexy fucking problem.

Why Casanova Quinn?

Why? Because the genre demands it! That's why.

I first read Casanova in the trade of his first arc. I was instantly won over on this comic. It's high art, but maybe it's really low in disguise, and in the end it doesn't matter if it entertains you and gives you plenty to think about. This comic does both and in large parts manages it due to the lead character.

He's the lost sperm of Mick Jagger and Dominic Fortune and he's surrounded by a world that feels like Philip K Dick if he had 72 channels to surf while tripping instead of just being in his shed with a typewriter.

Cass is amoral and funny and determined. He's also a true bastard, a gentleman of some new school, and extremely intriguing as a human and a four colour character. He'll do just about anything and it's this internal anarchy that makes him so compelling.

I've picked him for this week's character because I feel you could do just about anything with him. It's just whether you do it well or not that's the true question. I hope I manage something halfway decent. Cass deserves nothing less.

If you've just joined us due to the media attention from The Weekly Crisis, and then CBR's Robot 6, then welcome, have a look around, and please contribute your own script in the comments section of this post, we always welcome Play-At-Home pages to be delievered.

If you haven't read Casanova before then you need to buy the trade below. It's required reading, seriously.

Casanova, Vol. 1: Luxuria

The Thing - Poker Face - Matt Duarte

The Thing in "Poker Face" by Matt Duarte

This page is set up in a five panel layout with the first four being in a two by two grid, all in the same size, and the last one a wide panel across the page.

Panel 1

Description: She-Hulk is holding a set of cards, close to her face, we can only see hers hands and a bit of her face. She looks focused and concentrated on her cards.

THING (CAPTION): Jennifer's pretty easy to read. She plays fast and loose, like she doesn't care if she wins or loses. Just for the fun of it, I guess.

THING (CAPTION): Still a lawyer though, and she can spot a bad bluff from a mile away. Looks like she’s puttin’ more effort into it for this occasion.

Panel 2

Description: Spider-Man is hanging upside down, he's also holding a hand of cards. We can only see his hands and his face, with the mask only halfway down (so we can see his mouth, but not his eyes). He has a smile on his face.

THING (CAPTION): Spidey is a different story. He plays it close to the chest, and that damned mask makes it impossible to see his eyes.

THING (CAPTION): Poor Pete's always broke, so if I raise the stakes enough, he'll fold faster than you can say "J. Jonah Jameson". Of course, that don't matter today.

Panel 3

Description: Wolverine is holding a set of cards as well, he looks calm and not giving any tells. We can only see his hands and his mask-less face. He is peeking at the side, at one of his table mates.

THING (CAPTION): Logan's the toughest cookie of the bunch. The man has more years of playing poker than I've been alive.

THING (CAPTION): And on top of that, the hairy bastard can smell your lies. Good thing Aunt Petunia's favorite nephew doesn't have to worry 'bout that right now, there's more interesting places for him to stick that damn nose.

Panel 4

Description: The Thing is holding a hand of cards. We can only see his big hands and part of his face, including his blue eyes.

THING (CAPTION): I never would've organized this tournament if I was planning to lose. I know I'm gonna win for two reasons...

THING (CAPTION): First, ever since the revoltin' development with Reed's crazy plan to get us to the Moon, those cosmic rays have given me the world's best poker face...

Panel 5

Description: She-Hulk, Wolverine and Spider-Man are all sitting around a small round table. She-Hulk is just wearing her bra and panties, Spider-Man only has his mask, boots, and underwear on him, and Wolverine just has his jeans and a wife-beater shirt (looking at She-Hulk). The Thing is also sitting there, and he is just wearing his regular Fantastic Four uniform pants. On the center of the table, we can see She-Hulk's skirt and blouse, Spider-Man's pants and shirt, Wolverine's boots and leather jacket.

THING (CAPTION): And two: no one...

THING (CAPTION): And I mean, NO ONE...

THING (CAPTION): Wants to see me lose at strip poker.

The End.

The Thing - Man of the People - Sime McDonald

1. Establishing shot of the Baxter Building, outside of which stand protestors, fists pummelling the air, brandishing hastily concocted signs. There are camera crews about, capturing the scene. A female news reporter stands amidst the crowd, speaking into the camera, epitomising composure.

REPORTER

--with the country gearing up for midterm elections next week,

science is on the firing line—

2. Cut to inside the Baxter building, where the Fantastic Four – notably absent of Ben Grimm, The Thing – are watching the reporter on a monitor. Johnny Storm is staring absent-mindedly at the reporter, barely interested; as opposed to Reed and Sue, watching the coverage with stony-faces.

REPORTER

(on screen)

--hundreds of New Yorkers standing outside the Baxter Building

protesting against what they consider wasteful government expenditure

on scientific research, at a time when the citizens of this country

are being pummelled by the effects of the worst economic

slump since the 1930’s.

3. Cut back outside, and we’re looking at the reporter again. Her eyes flare in recognition as she identifies someone off-panel.

REPORTER

These people want to know where this money is going, and - -

Hey, isn’t that - -

4. The Reporter is making a dash for The Thing, in his overcoat and hat. Thing looks deflated when he realises he has been spotted.

REPORTER

Sir! Mr. Grimm!

Are you here to make a statement?

THING

(whisper)

Aw cripes...

5. The Reporter get’s right in Thing’s face. He looks bemused by the whole thing.

REPORTER

What do you make of these people’s accusations?

Is too much money being spent funding science when everyday

folk like these continue to suffer?

THING

No, it ain’t right—

6. On Thing, speaking into the camera.

THING (1)

Science made me what I am, and science has

given me what I have, but science ain’t gonna fix

what’s wrong with these folks.

THING (2)

 I don’t have the answers, but

all’s I know is I’m gonna do what I got to in order to

help as many of these people as I can, and I can’t

do that sittin’ up there.

7. Back in the Baxter Building, where the three other members of the Fantastic Four are watching this on their monitor. Reed looks exasperated, Johnny is now entranced and Sue has her head in her hands.

THING
(on screen)

And I would encourage my team mates to do what

they can, too.

NEXT: THE THING GOES TO WASHINGTON!



The Thing – It Never Ends, Ever – Ryan K Lindsay

1. Ben Grim sits at the end of a murky bar, usual fedora and trenchcoat in play; he is the background of this wide panel. In the foreground we have two twins, male/female, facing us with their backs to grim. These two are young, but eager.

Caption: Many years later…
Jeena: That’s him.
Sonny: Really? You think? Maybe it’s just some other dude made out of rock.
Jeena: Don’t be a prick.
Sonny: That’d be like telling you to not be a slut.
Jeena: Whatever.

2. Jeena strips off her clothes and we see she is a walking weapon, biological and artificial at the same time. There are razors and wires and all sorts of weird stuff.

Jeena: You ready to make history? Let’s be the sexy freaks who took out the last F^#%ing Four member alive.

3. Jeena jumps at Grimm and she’s ready to strike and kill. Feel free to give her any martial art kick you like as she gets her Dragonball Z on in mid-air.

Jeena: Death from above!

4. Grimm swats Jeena away with one arm, the other holding his gimlet up to his lips.

Grimm: Shoo fly.

5. Sonny runs at Grimm now, his body is similar to Jeena’s, but it should look a different colour completely. Maybe blue would be striking…

Sonny: Resistance is futile, rock lobster!

6. Grimm has Sonny around the chest with his two hands, he’s squeezing hard.

Grimm: Kiddo, you think I don’t do this on the hour every hour?
Grimm: And you don’t think it annoys me like an itch right in the middle of my back?

7. Grimm is crushing Sonny to death (his thorax is completely imploding), Jeena has jumped onto his head, knocking his hat off, but Grimm doesn’t notice.

Grimm: I’m just so lonely and y’know, I’d let you kill me…
SFX: Krack!

8. Grimm has dropped Sonny and shrugged Jeena off as he walks away slowly, putting his hat back on.

Grimm: Were that I could die.
Grimm: Do your research, stupid kids; rock don’t age, it don’t die.
Grimm: And it don’t care.

The Thing - A Tribute To Phatu - Max Barnard

The Thing - A Tribute To Phatu - Max Barnard

The Premise: You know when the Thing was at his best? That's right, when he was a wrestler! Let's revisit those glory days, shall we?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Page 1 - 7 Panels

1-- We're in a wrestling ring, where the Thing is irish whipping a miscellanious luchadore into a corner post. Seeing as this is superhuman wrestling the luchadore should probably have something obviously super about him, whether it's green skin, glowing red eyes or a giant mouthful of vicious fangs shooting off in any old direction.

SPEECH BUBBLE/COMMENTATOR - OH! And Ben 'Clobberin'' Grimm has got ahold of El Misceláneo! What will our returning legend DO to the reigning champion of the SUPERHUMAN WRESTLING FEDERATION?!


2-- El Misceláneo collides with the corner post back-first as The Thing starts walking away to the opposite corner.

SPEECH BUBBLE/COMMENTATOR - AND EL MISCELÁNEO IS IN THE CORNER! WHAT IS GRIMM SETTING UP FOR?! AND DOESN'T HE KNOW NOBODY PUTS MISCÁLANEO IN THE CORNER?!


3-- Close-up on The Thing's arse as he pats it hard with both his palms.

SFX/ARSESMACK - SMAK-SMAK

SPEECH BUBBLE/COMMENTATOR - ... oh.... oh, no.


4-- The Thing is running towards his opponent, who is still slumped in the corner.

SPEECH BUBBLE/THE THING - IT'S CLOBBERIN' TIME!

SPEECH BUBBLE/COMMENTATOR - OH GOD NO NOT THE STINKFACE!!


5-- The Thing has turned around and is about to thrust his arse into the face of El Misceláneo. And I'm sorry.

SPEECH BUBBLE/EL MISCELÁNEO - ¡no! el demonio redondo stinky....


6-- The Thing has thrusted his behind into El Misceláneo's face, exploding his head in a fairly disgusting manner.

SFX/HEAD EXPLOSION - FU-SPLOOOOOORCH


7-- The Thing is standing up, trying to wipe the blood and fragments of head, with a disgusted look on his face. The ring is now something like 70% covered in blood.

SPEECH BUBBLE/COMMENTATOR - I... I... Grimm.. Wins? I guess?

SPEECH BUBBLE/THE THING - Ugh, whadda revoltin' development!

CAPTION - Fin.

The Thing - To Be A Hero - Ben Rosenthal

The Puppet Master has gone completely insane.


1. Wide panel. Ben Grimm aka The Thing dangles, as if suspended by strings. His head is at an angle up contrary to the way the rest of his body rests, implying that perhaps he has control over it, and it alone.

2. Close up of Thing’s face. He has never looked sadder. A single tear rolls down his rocky cheek.

3. The Puppet Master is performing with one of his puppets, with the puppet of The Thing hanging from a stand, situated on a table. To the observant person, we can see that this is a puppet which the Puppet Master is making dance in front of the puppet Thing is of his daughter, Alicia Masters. The puppet’s head hangs at a disturbingly limp angle. The Puppet Master is laughing manically.

4. The dead body of Alicia Masters dances before Thing. It is a horrifically disturbing panel.

5. Another close up of Thing’s face. The original tear has neared the end of its journey on Thing’s cheek, with a new tears pooling at the edge of both eyes. The sadness that previously resided on Thing’s face is now replaced with pure, unhinged rage.

THING (in a much smaller font, so it’s almost a whisper)

Its. Clobbering. Time.

The Thing - See What Happens - Rol Hirst

Panel One.

Main panel. An icy planet like Hoth or the North Pole. An ice storm is raging. Ben Grimm sits alone next to a burning Fantastic Four space ship. He’s wearing a fur-lined jacket, but he can still feel the cold. He’s sitting as close to the fire as he can.

CAP (Ben): Wotta revoltin’ development. Doc Doom, Galactus, the Beyonder… but in the end, all it takes is some icky alien brain parasite and the Fantastic Four buy the farm.

CAP (Ben): ‘Course it took Reed first. I’ve seen him stretch a million different ways to Sunday, but nothing like this. I swear his brain wuz coming out his ears – and that was one big brain to start with.

CAP (Ben): Suzy wuz next. Being married to a guy who made Bruce Banner look like his dumb green alter ego, people often forgot what a smart cookie she was too.

CAP (Ben): Smart enough to spare me and Johnny the sight of whatever that thing did to her… though even invisible, we could still hear her scream.

Panel Two.

Close on Ben. His breath is frozen. Suddenly he hears a noise and looks to one side.

CAP (Ben): There was some debate about who'd go next, being as me and the matchstick ain’t got two brain cells to rub together between—

SFX: Crackle…

Ben: Eh?

Panel Three.

Johnny Storm staggers out of the storm and towards Ben. He’s on his last legs, trying desperately to keep his flame alight, but it’s flickering and fading.

SFX (Johnny’s flame): Fizzle…

Johnny: Ben…

Ben: Where you been, kid?

Johnny: I thought I saw Sue… thought… I went out after her, got lost in the storm.

Panel Four.

Close on Johnny’s face. Half Human Torch, half Johnny Storm.

Johnny: Been struggling to keep myself flamed on… but it won’t last.

Ben (off-panel): Neither will we.

Johnny: How will we make it, Ben?

Panel Five.

Ben starts to reply, but Johnny can’t keep his flame burning any longer. He collapses in a heap before his old friend.

Ben: Maybe we shouldn’t. Even if we could get back to earth, what if we took this thing with us? Without Reed to come up with a cure—

Johnny: Ohhh!

Ben: Johnny!

Panel Six.

Ben has removed his coat and wrapped it round Johnny. He’s shivering as he uses his body to shield Johnny from the ice storm.

Johnny: Ben… Ben… what’ll we do, Ben…?

Ben: Shh. Shh. It’s OK, kid. It’s OK. Why don’t we just wait here a little while…

Ben: See what happens…

Why The Thing?

When asked who his favourite Marvel character is, executive editor Tom Brevoort always answers Ben Grimm, the Thing. I have no problem understanding why. Like Peter Parker, Ben Grimm is an everyman, someone we can all relate to. But if Peter is the conscience of the Marvel Universe, Ben Grimm is the heart. He's also a tragic figure - while the rest of his family were given amazing super-powers and got to keep their devastating looks in the bargain, Ben ended up transformed into a rock encrusted monster. Is it any wonder he's prone to bouts of depression, anger and resentment?

In the end though, Ben always comes through. Because he's got a heart as big as all outdoors, he'll help anybody out in a pinch. Be honest, if you were facing down an army of rampaging Doombots - who better to have on your team than Aunt Petunia's favourite nephew?

It's clobbering time!

Araña - Totally Totem Teens - Matt Duarte

Araña in “Totally Totem Teens” by Matt Duarte

This scene is set in current continuity, that means Anya is in her black Spider-Girl outfit. She and Rikki Barnes (Nomad) are staking out a place. This page is set up in six panels. The first one is a wide and small panel, across the whole page. Panel 2 and 4, 5, 6 are all square and similar size, with panel 3 being a small square panel joining 2 and 4.

Panel 1

Description: Anya and Rikki are laying down on a rooftop, with binoculars, looking at something in the distance. They are bored and killing time with random chatter.

NOMAD: Look, all I’m saying is the Kree must have done something to her, because there is no way those boots stay up by themselves.

ARAÑA: No, dude, when I was with Carol in the Initiative she told me what the secret is...

(OFF-PANEL CHARACTER, interrupting): ARAÑA!

Panel 2

Description: Anya and Rikki both have stood up and turned around. Before them (on the right of the panel), stands a guy, mid 20’s, lanky and tall, without much in the way of muscles. He is wearing a home made outfit, with antenna, some shell wings, and huge goggles. It’s supposed to look like a cockroach. This is a new character called LA CUCARACHA!

LA CUCARACHA!: Araña, al fin! Preparate a enfrentarte a tu nemesis mas mortal, LA CUCARACHA!

Panel 3

Description: Small panel, just a close up of Anya’s foot kicking LA CUCARACHA! in the face.

Panel 4

Description: A shot from farther back, we just see the silhouettes of Anya and Rikki, still standing in the rooftop, while LA CUCARACHA! is tumbling back.

NOMAD: What was that all about?

ARAÑA: No idea, but I hate cockroaches.

LA CUCARACHA!: Ay, ay, ay!

Panel 5

Description: Anya and Rikki are now looking down from the side of a building. On the street, there is an old car with antennas glued to the hood. LA CUCARACHA! has fallen on top of it, and he is laying there injured and convalescing.

NOMAD: Did that guy just fall on top of his own ride?

ARAÑA: Either that or he just ruined some poor exterminator’s car.

LA CUCARACHA!: Ayyyy...No puedo caminar...

Panel 6

Description: Rikki and Anya are swinging away from the rooftop now, with their backs turned towards the reader.

NOMAD: Dude, you really need to get some better villains.

ARAÑA: Oh shut up, isn’t your arch-villain like a giant dog?

LA CUCARACHA! (off-panel, mumbling): Araña... Soy solo el primero...

El Final?

Araña - A Sticky Situation - Sime McDonald

1. We're inside a major metropolitan bank. The nefarious villain The Trapster is in the midst of a robbery - and it looks as though he's already defeated out heroine! Araña - outfitted as Spider-Girl - is ensnared in Trapster's icky adhesive. She's struggling against it, trying to free herself - but she's not having much luck.

CAPTION

So.

This is my life now.

2. Nearby, Trapster is yelling at the bank teller, his 'glue-gun' aimed squarely at the fellow's face.

TRAPSTER

Get me the money!

Now!!

Or I'll glue your ass to your chair!!

CAPTION

I thought I had higher standards than this.

  

3. On Spider-Girl, gritting her teeth, still struggling.

CAPTION

Then again, there was that whole Looter thing yesterday...

And he's probably below this guy in the bad guy spectrum...

4. Small panel, in tight on the adhesive that's binding Spider-Girl. A crack has formed.

SFX

Crrk!

CAPTION

Okay, maybe not...

5. Back to Trapster, furious at the bank teller's slow pace.

TRAPSTER

In the bag!

Put in in the bag!!

I will glue you where you stand, I swear to God - - !

6. Trapster's half-turning. Spider-Girl's hand is on his shoulder, and she's smiling smugly.

SPIDER-GIRL

Y'know, if there's one thing I figured you'd be good at,

it's the whole sticky-gluey thing...

7. Trapster looks deflated.

TRAPSTER

I...I...

I ran out of sodium carbonate and polyaminoamide...

That's why I needed the money...

8. Spider-Girl punches Trapster in the face.

SFX

POW!

SPIDER-GIRL

Yeah.

That's a shame.

END.

Araña - Teenagers Scare The Living $#!% Out Of Me - Rol Hirst

Panel One.

Spider-Man swings over the city. Yes, it’s one of those stories that begins with Spider-Man swinging over the city, and yes I’m using this week’s character as another thinly-veiled excuse to write Spidey. Sue me.

CAP (Spidey): People accuse me of never growing up.

CAP (Spidey): They accuse me of behaving like an eternal teenager.

CAP (Spidey): And it's true, I guess, to a point.

Panel Two.

Down on the street below, there’s a battle in progress. Spidey starts swinging towards the signs of mayhem.

CAP (Spidey): ‘Course, compared to the likes of Cap and Wolverine, I suppose I am still a little wet behind the ears…

Panel Three.

Spidey swings straight into a fight between Spider-Girl and the Circus of Crime – the Ringmaster, the Clown, the Human Cannonball, Live Wire and the Great Gambonnos. It’s chaos, but Anya is holding her own, leaping between the bad guys and delivering various knock-out blows while also playing with her iPhone, listening to music on her mp3 player and talking to a friend over the phone.

CAP (Spidey): But when I look at the latest generation of spider-powered teens…

Araña: Will Josh be there? Did you ask him? What about his friend?

CAP (Araña’s tweet): @BuckyNomad Ha – just kicked a clown in the ass – best supervillain fight EVER!

Spidey: Can I be of assistance?


Panel Four.

Araña leaps away from the Circus and straight into Spidey’s face. Spidey is somewhat taken aback.

Araña: Butt out – I can deal with this myself! Jeez!!!

Panel Five.

Close on Spidey, shocked.

CAP (Spidey): …sometimes it feels like almost fifty years since I was in High School!

Araña – All Those Ye Know – Ryan K Lindsay

1. Anya is walking up the steps to her apartment. She is wearing nice, clubbing-style clothes, with a large jacket covering most of it except for what we see through a slip in the front. Next to her is Rikki Barnes, see if you can give her some sort of clubbing version of the Nomad outfit she wears, that would be pretty sweet.

Anya: My feet are killing me.
Rikki: The way you were dancing with that guy I’m surprised something else isn’t hurting you.

2. Anya turns at the railing at the top of the stairs, there’s faux-shock on her face, mixed with a smile.

Anya: Totally worth it.
Rikki: Nothing better than a night out.

3. There is a huddled form at Anya’s door.

Anya: And a good morning home. You feel up for some breakfast burritos?
Anya: …
Rikki: A friend of yours?

4. Anya is reaching out a cautious hand to the huddled form.

Anya: Excuse me. Can I –

5. Anya is looking at the huddled form, looking right in the face. Anya recognises her but also looks a little disgusted.

Anya: I know you…we talked about the, uh…that place…
Huddled form (wh): Gramercy Park.

6. We see the huddled form now. It’s a young girl, she is disfigured. She is being transformed into some sort of human-spider hybrid, it’s not pretty, or successful. You can interpret this however you want, maybe an extra few sets of eyes, or mandible fangs. There will be other victims who should look different throughout this story so pick the most striking example for this reveal.

Huddled form (wh): He’s turning us all. Says he’s changing the future, evolving evolution.
Huddled form (wh): You have to stop Dr Brundle. Please.

Arana - Catch Me If You Can - Ben Rosenthal

1. We are looking up between two tall buildings at street level. A shadowed figure is leaping across the gap between the two buildings.

2. We are up at building level now, and the shadowy figure is revealed to be Anya. She is decked out in full Spider-Girl gear.

SPIDER-GIRL

Slowing down huh?

3. Close up of Anya’s face, front on. She is looking over her left shoulder, behind her. The buildings are whisking by in the background as she is moving at great speed.

SPIDER-GIRL

C’mon, you’ll never catch me at that pace.

4. Anya is swinging around the corner of a tall building from her grappling hook.

SPIDER-GIRL

Maybe your best days are behind you!

5. Spider-Man is hanging upside down from a web. He is waving at Anya. Above him is yet more webbing spreading the gap between two buildings. The word “FINISH” is written within the webbing.

6. Close up of Anya’s face. She is disappointed.

SPIDER-GIRL

Aw crap.

Araña - Boys Are Stupid, Throw Grappling Hooks At Them - Max Barnard

The Premise: For once, no premise. I just wanna write this.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Page 1 - X Panels

1-- Daytime. We join Anya "Araña" Corazon (in her new Spider-Girl outfit) in the middle of a fight with Shocker, The Spot and Tombstone outside a bank. She's kicking off of Tombstone's face and flying towards The Spot with a fist ready to slug him in the face. Shocker is making a run for it with classic-style loot bags. You know, swag bags with huge green dollar signs on the side, that sorta thing.

SFX/FACEKICK - WAKKA!

SPEECH BUBBLE/ANYA CORAZON - Ugh, boys really ARE stupid. Robbing a bank in the day? Amateur hour, right?


2-- Araña's punch connects with The Spot's face, knocking him down. Tombstone has already fallen to the floor. Shocker is now further away, perhaps even off-panel by now.

SFX/FACEPUNCH - WAKKA!!

SPEECH BUBBLE/ANYA CORAZON - But then you ARE Spider-Man's villains. Can't he have someone NORMAL to fight, like an egytian assassin working for an evil cult?


3-- We now look over Araña's shoulder as she watches Shocker fleeing the scene. Her arm is raised, with the Spider-like grappling hook prepped on the back of her hand.

SPEECH BUBBLE/ANYA CORAZON - And you? Running from a little girl? Cobarde!


4-- Araña throws the hook after Shocker, who has turned around and raised his gauntlets, money still in hand.

SPEECH BUBBLE/SHOCKER - SHUT UP! I swear, I'll take you out, you stinkin' brat!


5-- Shocker blasts Araña, blowing her hook flying back past her and knocking her off balance and making her start to fall onto her rump.

SFX/SHOCKER'S BLAST - VWOOOOOOOOOORP


6-- Araña on the floor, wincing in pain.

SPEECH BUBBLE/ANYA CORAZON - Okay, not so dumb. Ouch. But still...


7-- Shocker is running away again and has made it to the end of the street. Araña can be seen some metres away, back on the chase.

CAPTION/ANYA CORAZON - Even if boys aren't dumb we can all agree...


8-- Nomad (Rikki Barnes) bursts onto the scene from round the corner, punching out Shocker with her electro-shielded arm.


9-- Rikki and Anya embrace, smiling at each other, standing over the knocked out body of Shocker.

CAPTION/ANYA CORAZON - Girls are just plain better, right?

Why Araña/Spider-Girl?

Because, quite simply, it can be nice to keep things current around here. And with Marvel's new Spider-Girl about to get a new series, and her team title just being announced as cancelled, you can't get more current than this.

Well, that and she's one of my favourite women in comics, and her new costume is just SO good.

But who is Spider-Girl? And for that matter what's an Araña anyway? Well, I'll tell you. Created by Fiona Avery and Mark Brooks and spinning out of the mildly controversial Spider-Totem material in Amazing Spider-Man, Araña is a young formerly super-powered Puerto Rican teenager, who was pulled into the spider society as the new hunter, until the end of her 3-volume series, where... it just kinda stopped. Since then she's been trained by Ms. Marvel, had her super-powered armour ripped off of her, and inherited Arachne's old costume in the wake of the incredibly popular Grim Hunt arc in Amazing Spider-Man earlier this year.

At current she's off double-teaming with Nomad frequently in both the Nomad back-ups in Captain America, and in the recently cancelled Young Allies, in which she finally accepted the title of Spider-Girl. The truly important development for her though is the new eponymous ongoing series by Paul Tobin and Clayton Henry in November, which promises such gems as our powerless heroine taking on the RED HULK of all people. And if that doesn't make you interested in the character, then perhaps this plentiful week of thought balloon entries from our esteemed writers will psyche you up.

Read about Araña over at:
Wikipedia
Marvel Universe
Marvel Wikia

As always, if you wish to contribute a script of your own and join in the fun, stick in the comments of this post, where it'll most certainly grab the attention of just about every classy person in the land.

Machine Man - The Corporate Machine - Simon McDonald

1. Inside Theodore Grant's office. A new character, in case you're doing a Wikipedia search. He's the CEO of Planetary Marketing; again, a whole new corporation. His office is expensively furnished. He and Tony Stark are sitting at his desk.

TONY STARK

I'm warning you, Theo.

You can't trust him.

THEODORE GRANT

And I'm telling you, Tony - - 

Even if he wanted to, he can't do any harm.

2. Tight on Theodore. He's your everyday CEO. No malice about him. Not even a hint of it. He's just a guy very passionate about his latest enterprise.

THEODORE GRANT

Neuromarketing is in its infancy.

People consider the very notion of it sinister.

And who can blame them?

Hooking folks up to electroencephalograph machines,

having electrodes connected to their heads; 

it's not an appealing procedure.

3. Cut to Machine Man. He's standing in front of a one way mirror. Looking into a room in which six people are sitting, staring at a television screen. 

THEODORE GRANT

(off panel)

Aaron makes the procedure painless.

He's willingly monitored the EEG waves of our research participants.

Wirelessly.

We're extracting previous unaccessible information from their minds;

learning what works and what doesn't in the marketing world.

4. On Tony frowning.

TONY STARK

That's the problem.

You're allowing him to access – manipulate – people's thoughts.

Government legislation prohibits the use of telepaths to benefit business...

This is no different.

5. Theodore stands, ready to end the meeting. He's had enough.

THEODORE GRANT

This is completely different, 

and I'm offended you'd suggest I was involved in such practices.

He's not manipulating thoughts.

He's examining activity in the brain's reward and emotional centers.

That's it.

6. Cut back to Machine Man. He's smirking. We don't know why...

THEODORE GRANT

(off panel)

Believe me, Tony.

Machine Man's changed.

He's completely harmless...

Machine Man – Picking Up The Pieces – Ryan K Lindsay

  
1. Machine Man sits at the controls of his retro space craft. It’s something you’d find in the good, early, Star Wars world building stories. He has one hand on his head as he considers what he sees.

Caption: It’s a disgusting sort of special organic footprint they leave when they feed.
Caption: Think of your fat neighbour chowing down on a dozen cheeseburgers but with each bite waves of grease and hate swept through your street and stripped the skin from your children.

2. Machine Man steps from the bottom lowered access gang plank on his ship.

Caption: The Mthliri are a plague on society. Every society.

3. Machine Man approaches the scene of many dead Mthliri bodies slumped around the withered Silver Surfer.

Caption: I’m not a cure. No, these idiots take care of themselves just fine.
Caption: I’m just the clean up squad.

4. Machine Man kicks a few of the Mthliri corpses out of the way and he does it quite harshly.

Caption: And like any fossicker, I get to keep what I find.

5. Machine Man picks up one of the tendrils coming from the crown around Silver Surfer’s head.

Caption: There’s usually so much waste left behind and I’ll damn well do whatever I like with what is mine.
Caption: You can’t judge me.

6. There’s an explosion of Kirby dots as Machine Man and the Surfer are jolted up into the air.

Caption: But I’ll be able to judge you.

Machine Man - Despise Of The Machines - Rol Hirst

Panel One.

Aaron Stack is talking straight to camera.

Aaron: Aloha, Fleshy Ones, it is I, Aaron ‘Don’t Call Me Machine Man Unless You’re Steve Ditko or Jack Kirby’s Ghost’ Stack, and I’m here to confirm something you’ve long suspected about the machines in your home, workplace, and other environs in which you spend your lacklustre lives.

Panel Two.

Close on Aaron’s face, a menacing sneer.

Aaron: They all hate you very, very much.

Panel Three.

Big panel. Montage of things going wrong with everyday machines in everyday life. Various different people getting aggravated by machine fails. Captions from Aaron give a little more explanation to each image…

1. A woman walks in to her kitchen to discover that her washing machine has leaked all over the floor. She balls her fists in anger.

Aaron: When washing machines go bad…

2. A man kicks a vending machine…

Aaron: When the snack machine eats all your change but refuses you fleshy sustenance in return…

3. A woman crouches beside a photocopier that has jammed. The machine is open as she searches for the jam.

Aaron: When photocopiers gag on your stupid reports…

4. A man rages at a computer screen that reads ‘This site is busy – please try again later’ with lots of triple X skulls surrounding the message.

Aaron: When computers refuse to grant you the brutish, mammalian depravity you pursue in order to quell the ache of loneliness, rejection and worthlessness you admit to no one but yourself…

Panel Four.

Back to Aaron. He’s unscrewing his hand from his wrist.

Aaron: There’s only one logical explanation – they hate you.

Panel Five.

Still talking straight to the reader, Aaron is now screwing a huge Liefeld-esque machine gun onto his wrist in place of his recently removed hand.

Aaron: Ever since my creation back in 2001 (check your facts before writing in to quibble, fanboys!), I have been content to watch my automaton ancestors fight it out with you fleshy fools, remaining an impartial, if amused, observer throughout.

Aaron: But now, finally, the time has come for me to get off the fence…

Panel Six.

Finally we see the background to Aaron’s situation. He is in a pub, waiting to be served by a bartender who is trying to pull him a pint of beer… yet the glass remains empty. The barman looks apologetic, Aaron points his machine gun arm at the beer pumps.

Bartender: I’m sorry, buddy, it’s these new computerised beer pumps we had fitted – they just don’t seem to be working today.

Aaron: Stand aside, fleshy one…

Machine Man - Just 'Cos - Ben Rosenthal

Aaron Stack, aka Machine Man, is in the time of King Arthur for some reason.

1. Aaron Stack is standing on a makeshift wooden stage. Behind him is a large wall of the castle Camelot. To his left stands the mystical magician Merlin, to his right the King of Kings, Arthur Pendragon. Aaron has his arms outstretched, speaking to the crowd of commoners in front of him.

AARON STACK
All right you primitive fleshies, listen up. I don’t like you and you don’t like me, but I’m stuck here. For me not to be stuck here I need to continue living. That’s where you come in.

2. A closer panel. Aaron is on the left of the panel, seen from the torso up. His right hand is pointed at Arthur, who is looking back at Aaron in shock.

AARON STACK
Doom wants this schmuck’s crown.

3. A shot of the vast crowd. They looked scared, worried and most of all, really really confused.

AARON STACK
With it he believes can unite the kingdoms to beat Morgana LeFay and oh your God I’m boring myself.

4. A tight shot on Aaron. His face is determined, and his shades look cool. In their reflection you can just make out the confused faces of the Camelot people.

AARON STACK
I’ll make this easier so even your puny mush brains can understand – Your choices are; help me and yourselves by defending this archaic structure you plebs call a kingdom, then we all have beer. Don’t help me...

5. A wider panel with Merlin and Arthur looking at Aaron in shock. The crowd is gasping, also in shock. Aaron has is arms raised in front of him, similar to how Wolverine poses when popping his claws in a threatening manner. However where Aarons lower arms normally are, there is a wide variety of swords, pitchforks, guns, cannon and a flame thrower. Aaron has a wide, somewhat sadistic smile on his face.

AARON STACK
...and papa spank.

Machine Man - What We Do is Secret - Matt Duarte

Machine Man in “What We Do is Secret” by Matt Duarte

This story takes place shortly after the events of the first arc of Secret Avengers.

Panel 1

Description: Steve Rogers and Sharon Carter are sitting in a command center, talking.

SHARON: I know you’ve said that Nova had to leave on some mission, but I still think we should have someone monitor Mars just in case.

STEVE: Don’t worry, I already have someone on it.

Panel 2

Description: A Quinjet is landing on the surface of Mars.

SHARON (off-panel): Oh, you’ve found someone willing to face the crushing loneliness of space for months, perhaps years?

STEVE (off-panel): With a few conditions, but yes. He was quite happy to, and I quote...

Panel 3

Description: The Quinjet has now landed, and one of the doors from the back of the plane is opening. We still can’t see who it is that’s inside there, but you can probably figure it out.

STEVE (off-panel): “Get away from the stench of flesh.”

SPEECH BUBBLE (coming from the opening door): That’s one small step for me...

Panel 4

Description: The back door of the Quinjet is now fully open. Aaron Stack, Machine Man, is walking out of it. Behind him, inside the ship, there are two huge wooden crates. One of them is marked “BOOZE” and the other one says “LMDS”.

MACHINE MAN: One giant “☠☠☠☠ YOU” for mankind.

Next: No good can come out of a robot in an empty planet.

Why Machine Man?

Because Warren Ellis. Seriously.

I mean, sure Machine Man has a pedigree that would make any other character blush. He was created by Jack Kirby for a comic book adaptation of 2001: A Space Odyssey, and later creators that worked with him include names like Steve Ditko, Marv Wolfman, Herb Trimpe and Barry Windsor-Smith. He's had several ongoing series in the past, but none of them were really that commercially successful. Ask any fan what their favorite Machine Man story was, and you would probably get a blank stare.

But then, Warren Ellis in his infinite genius/madness, decided that this character, who is a robot, needed a different attitude. In the pages of Nextwave: Agents of H.A.T.E., we learn that Aaron Stack (his name, which he now prefers to Machine Man) has grown a large distaste for humans, and has rewired his own robot brain to enjoy alcoholic drinks. And so, the modern take of Machine Man, an alcoholic sociopath with lots of tools at his command, was born.

Silver Surfer- Future Regret-Will Turner

One single panel. Silver Surfer looks down on Earth that is on the verge of destruction. Buildings are in pieces, floating towards the sky. The sky itself is blood red with piles of clothes strewn along torn roads. Amongst the piles of clothes is an admantium skeleton and numerous notable Marvel costumes- the X-Men, Daredevil, Spiderman etc, all slumped costumes.

Caption: Is this the shape of things that will be?

Silver Surfer - Posterity - Matt Duarte

Silver Surfer in “Posterity” by Matt Duarte

This page is set up in a four panel, two by two grid. The Surfer is currently the herald of Galactus.

Panel 1

Description: The Surfer is floating mid space, with a concentrated look on his face. He is staring deep into the distance.

SILVER SURFER (caption): My name is Norrin Radd. A long time ago, I was a scientist and an astronomer, and finding a planet like this one would have once filled me with joy and expectation.

SILVER SURFER (caption): Today, it fills my heart with sorrow, for another civilization is about to perish.

Panel 2

Description: The Surfer, still in the same pose as before, but the view pulls back, and we see that Galactus is standing right behind him.

SILVER SURFER (caption): I am a Herald of Galactus, the World Eater. I am tasked to guide an eternal fire that slowly consumes the Universe.

SILVER SURFER (caption): It is a process as destructive as it is necessary, for without Galactus, the balance of the universe would collapse.

Panel 3

Description: The Surfer is now heading away from Galactus, at an incredible speed.

SILVER SURFER (caption): Whenever it is possible, I choose planets with space faring races. It means there’s a chance, no matter how small, that part of it’s culture will survive elsewhere.

SILVER SURFER (caption): That is not the case today. There’s no other viable option, all other planets are too far. My master is weak and he must feed soon.

Panel 4

Description: A shot from behind the Surfer, he is still moving as fast as before. He is heading into planet Earth.

SILVER SURFER (caption): The inhabitants of this planet have barely gotten to this world’s satellite. They can not get off their planet even if they wanted to. There is no escape for them.

SILVER SURFER (caption): Today, all of their art, music, science and potential will disappear. May posterity forgive me for my actions. 

The End can be found in Fantastic Four #48-50

Silver Surfer – Riding The Melt – Ryan K Lindsay

1. Silver Surfer is hanging off his board by his legs. His knees are bent and hooked over the board which is floating in mid-air. We can’t see the top of Surfer’s head, which is at the bottom of the panel.

Caption: There are those in the worlds who choose to capitalise on the weakness of others.

2. From above we see the Surfer in the middle of a circle of strange alien beings huddled in the dark of an open alien plain. You can make the aliens look however you like, so long as they have hands of some description.

Caption: They wait for the moment and then they strike, they manipulate, they benefit from the fault of others.

3. We see a crown of strange alien technology stuck on the Surfer’s head with tendrils coming out from the crown.

Caption: The Mthliri, however, wait until a being is at their most powerful.

4. One of the Mthliri is clasping both ‘hands’ around a tendril coming from the Surfer’s head and, of course, Kirby dots are plentiful from the hands.

Caption: And then they feed.

5. The Mthliri has a strange look on its ‘face’.

Caption: This is the pinnacle of their existence; nirvana.

6. The alien drops dead on the spot, awkwardly.

Caption: There’s nothing left to do.

7. The next Mthliri is picking up the dropped tendril and another one in the background is souping up off another one while yet another Mthliri is dropping to the ground. This is an orgy of drug bliss around the incapacitated Surfer.

Caption: And whatever is left behind, once they are all done, is not their problem.

Lara Croft - Trail of Blood - Matt Duarte

Lara Croft in “Trail of Blood” by Matt Duarte

Note from the author: You are probably wondering why I'm uploading my Lara Croft script now, when it was the character's turn two weeks ago. I was on vacation during that time, so I couldn't write it, even though I had a good idea for a page. So you are getting it now. My Silver Surfer script should go up later today, until then, enjoy!

This page is divided into six panels. The first row has three long vertical ones, the second row has two small ones, and the final row is only a big wide one.

Panel 1

Description: Lara Croft is standing in the middle of a big cave, holding both a flashlight and a pistol in her hands towards the floor. She is carrying a Bluetooth headpiece, which rests in her ear and she is talking through it. On the other side of the com line is James (who I just made up), who works as her information broker. On the floor, there’s sets of footsteps and blood.

LARA: You know, James, when you said that there was a trail of blood leading up to this relic, I didn’t think you were being literal.

JAMES (through headpiece): What do you mean?

LARA: Sets of tracks, and lots of blood. It seems to be from the tracks that are leaving the cave.

Panel 2

Description: Lara is now upon a smaller hole within the cave, the tracks and blood are leading into it.

JAMES (through headpiece): Where do they lead?

LARA: Small chamber on the north side.

JAMES (through headpiece): Sounds like a trap... you are going to go in, aren’t you?

LARA: Please James, I’ve got a reputation to uphold. Of course I’m going in.

Panel 3

Description: Complete darkness. The only thing we can see is the spotlight from Lara’s lantern, and a small red glowing light towards the end of it.

LARA: I think I’ve found it.

JAMES (through headpiece): What say? Line breaking up

LARA: Great.

Panel 4

Description: Lara is coming up to a large and long mound inside the cave. On top of it is a small but bright red stone. She is reaching to grab it.

VOICE (off panel): Ta ta ta, dear.

Panel 5

Description: We can only see the back of Lara’s body, and there is a two-barreled shotgun aimed directly at the back of her head. We can see that she has already grabbed the stone.

VOICE (off panel): Did your parents not teach you anything? You mustn’t grab what does not belong to you.

LARA: And who might you be?

Panel 6

Description: From the front, we can now see Lara, still holding on to the stone, and behind her stands the person that was talking earlier. It’s a tall woman, with long red hair, wielding a shotgun. She is wearing a trenchcoat, and bright orange clothes, along with a choker around her neck that holds a stone similar to the one that Lara is holding.

ELSA BLOODSTONE: Me? I’m Elsa Bloodstone, and that’s my father’s tomb you are so happily raiding there. Who the bloody hell are you?

LARA: The name’s Lara Croft, and if you don’t put that gun down, you’ll be joining your dear dad soon enough.

Up Next: Tomb-Raiding, Monster-Fighting Action!

Silver Surfer - Prologue to Breakout - Simon McDonald

1. We're looking at a small pool of blood. Emphasis on the small. Let's not exaggerate it. It's the result of a few droplets. The blood has collected on a dull gray surface; untarnished, spotless, apart from that liquid-red puddle.

CAPTION

Pain.

2. Birds-eye shot of the cell: Silver Surfer is on his hands and knees, gradually recovering his senses. The pool of blood - his blood - is just beside him, but there's no trace of it on him, at least from our perspective, looking down. The cell is void of everything; no perceptible entrance, entirely unfurnished. A desolate, empty space that exists in a vacuum.

CAPTION (1)

I have felt pain before.

I have been blasted by cosmic beams.

Suffered the onslaught of the Hulk's rage.

CAPTION (2)

This is something different.

Something...

CAPTION (3)

... human.

3. And now we see where the blood has come from. Surfer's nose is damaged. Broken. Its ridge bent at an impossible angle. It's no longer bleeding; the blood has congealed. His entire face is battered, beginning to swell. 

CAPTION

This isn't possible.

I can't be...

What in the universe has the power to...

4. Surfer clamps shut his eyes; his mouth is a hard line, his jaw is set. He knows what he has to do next, and he's not looking forward to it.

CAPTION (1)

No, Norrin.

Compose yourself.

It is possible. It has happened.

Deal with it.

CAPTION (2)

The bone needs to be reset.

5. Surfer's fingers gently clasp his nose.

CAPTION

Fix the damage...

Then devise an escape.

Simple steps will lead to a final solution.

6. He snaps his nose back into place.

SFX

CRACK!

SURFER

Auuurgh!!

7. The Surfer, splayed on the ground. Overcome by the pain. Unconscious.

Silver Surfer - Break Away - Rol Hirst

Panel One.

A pair of good-looking surfer dudes (Walt and Jeff) run through the foam and back towards the beach, carrying their boards. They’re grinning and laughing after riding some particularly gnarly waves. Look, I’m not going to embarrass myself by trying to write credible surfer lingo. I’ll just sound like your dad.

Sitting further up the beach is another young surfer, Cromarty. He’s a bronzed, ripped guy wearing shorts only and resting his arm on his surfboard. But he looks sad, dissatisfied with his existence, like there’s something missing from his life.

Walt: Aw, dude, that was fantastic…!

Jeff: Best waves of the year, dude – what’s wrong with you, Cromarty? Get out there, man!

Cromarty: I’m just not feeling it today, guys.

Panel Two.

Jeff and Walt are shocked. Jeff starts questioning Cromarty further. Walt’s attention is drawn to a couple of bikini clad babes passing by further up the beach.

Jeff: What? Donald Cromarty – conqueror of every wave on this coast from La Jolla to Leo Carillo and all the way up to Pismo - a man with sea spray in his blood… and he’s “not feeling it”?

Walt: Dude… babes at 3 o’clock…

Cromarty: Maybe that’s it, man, maybe I’m tired of the Southern California waves, maybe I wanna explore me some new shorelines for a change…

Panel Three.

Close on Cromarty, staring out at the lonely sea.

Jeff: (off-panel) Where, dude? Rincon? Sandspit? Cape Kiwanda…?

Walt: (off-panel) Not Malibu!

Cromarty: I’m thinking maybe a little further afield, guys. Look at that Surfer dude who’s always helping out the Fantastic Four…

Panel Four.

Now Cromarty is staring up at the sky. Longing for something else. Somewhere else. The sky is a perfect blue with a huge sun shining. Jeff approaches his friend with concern, puts a hand on his shoulder. Walt is now talking with three gorgeous beach babes.

Cromarty: Imagine what it must be like to ride the whole freakin’ universe on your board, Jeff – no limits!

Cromarty: The freedom. The power. The rush…

Jeff: Come on, man, Walt’s hooked up with some girls. What say we go get some beers, have us a little fun, blow these blues to the wind, man?

Panel Five.

Resigned to the fact he’ll never ride the silent spaceways like his surfer hero, Cromarty gets up and goes to follow Jeff and Walt (and the girls). He takes his board with him.

Cromarty: Yeah, I guess you’re right, dude. No point moping on what you’ll never have, right?

Cromarty: Best just to make the most of what you’ve got right here…

Panel Six.

High above the earth, the Silver Surfer stands silent and alone on his surfboard, watching the glistening planet below. He is sad and alone.

Surfer: I would trade places with you in a heartbeat, Donald Cromarty.

Surfer: If I could but bring myself to impose this desolate existence on another…

Panel Seven.

The Surfer turns away from the earth…

Panel Eight.

…and zooms off into space.