1. Aaron Stack is standing on a makeshift wooden stage. Behind him is a large wall of the castle Camelot. To his left stands the mystical magician Merlin, to his right the King of Kings, Arthur Pendragon. Aaron has his arms outstretched, speaking to the crowd of commoners in front of him.
AARON STACK
All right you primitive fleshies, listen up. I don’t like you and you don’t like me, but I’m stuck here. For me not to be stuck here I need to continue living. That’s where you come in.
All right you primitive fleshies, listen up. I don’t like you and you don’t like me, but I’m stuck here. For me not to be stuck here I need to continue living. That’s where you come in.
2. A closer panel. Aaron is on the left of the panel, seen from the torso up. His right hand is pointed at Arthur, who is looking back at Aaron in shock.
AARON STACK
Doom wants this schmuck’s crown.
Doom wants this schmuck’s crown.
3. A shot of the vast crowd. They looked scared, worried and most of all, really really confused.
AARON STACK
With it he believes can unite the kingdoms to beat Morgana LeFay and oh your God I’m boring myself.
With it he believes can unite the kingdoms to beat Morgana LeFay and oh your God I’m boring myself.
4. A tight shot on Aaron. His face is determined, and his shades look cool. In their reflection you can just make out the confused faces of the Camelot people.
AARON STACK
I’ll make this easier so even your puny mush brains can understand – Your choices are; help me and yourselves by defending this archaic structure you plebs call a kingdom, then we all have beer. Don’t help me...
I’ll make this easier so even your puny mush brains can understand – Your choices are; help me and yourselves by defending this archaic structure you plebs call a kingdom, then we all have beer. Don’t help me...
5. A wider panel with Merlin and Arthur looking at Aaron in shock. The crowd is gasping, also in shock. Aaron has is arms raised in front of him, similar to how Wolverine poses when popping his claws in a threatening manner. However where Aarons lower arms normally are, there is a wide variety of swords, pitchforks, guns, cannon and a flame thrower. Aaron has a wide, somewhat sadistic smile on his face.
AARON STACK
...and papa spank.
...and papa spank.
Lower arms threw me off for some reason (I was like "legs?"), but that's just me being thick.
ReplyDeleteYou've packed a lot into the script and kept the panel count low, so it visually works. The beats and characterisation feel strong too.
But still, that's not what I wanna give kudos to. What I DO is that this is DOOMQUEST with the best twist. which has made me wanna reread that gem. And for that I salute you
I like that you can throwaway say Machine Man is in Arthurian times, 'for some reason'. With this guy you don't even need to explain it. That makes me laugh.
ReplyDeleteI like the flow of this page and it's a good pay at the bottom. You've got a good voice for Stack as well. This is tight. Definitely one of your better ones.
By "lower arms", did you mean forearms? Anyways, that ending was an awesome pay-off. I can absolutely envision it in my mind's eye, and it made me smile :)
ReplyDeleteFOREARMS! YES! This is why I need an editor - so I stop looking like a jerk.
ReplyDeleteTruth be told, I was not too sure how this one would be recieved. It was a load of fun writing it, and I would love to play with the character some more. Made me re-read my Nextwave comics.
Warren Ellis is genius.
I just loved the dialogue.
ReplyDeleteThat's all.