Saturday, October 9, 2010

Silver Surfer – Riding The Melt – Ryan K Lindsay

1. Silver Surfer is hanging off his board by his legs. His knees are bent and hooked over the board which is floating in mid-air. We can’t see the top of Surfer’s head, which is at the bottom of the panel.
Caption: There are those in the worlds who choose to capitalise on the weakness of others.

2. From above we see the Surfer in the middle of a circle of strange alien beings huddled in the dark of an open alien plain. You can make the aliens look however you like, so long as they have hands of some description.
Caption: They wait for the moment and then they strike, they manipulate, they benefit from the fault of others.

3. We see a crown of strange alien technology stuck on the Surfer’s head with tendrils coming out from the crown.
Caption: The Mthliri, however, wait until a being is at their most powerful.

4. One of the Mthliri is clasping both ‘hands’ around a tendril coming from the Surfer’s head and, of course, Kirby dots are plentiful from the hands.
Caption: And then they feed.

5. The Mthliri has a strange look on its ‘face’.
Caption: This is the pinnacle of their existence; nirvana.

6. The alien drops dead on the spot, awkwardly.
Caption: There’s nothing left to do.

7. The next Mthliri is picking up the dropped tendril and another one in the background is souping up off another one while yet another Mthliri is dropping to the ground. This is an orgy of drug bliss around the incapacitated Surfer.
Caption: And whatever is left behind, once they are all done, is not their problem.


  1. ever notice how we all use captions a LOT with our scripts? might be getting over reliant. Still, these are solid captions in a well scripted page, so I'm hardly gonna deride such things.

  2. You know what...I have noticed that. I even tried t fix it or remedy it with this script, and the next one, but it wouldn't work.

    I guess it's the best way to get a fair bit of information across in one page.

  3. I didn't... this week anyway. I guess it all depends if there's someone to talk to :-)

    Anyway, I was kind of confused in reading this. Is the Surfer dead, or is he just allowing these aliens to feed off him?

  4. Also, what are "Kirby dots"? :-)

  5. I think there's nothing wrong with a cliffhanger or ambiguity. I like the concept of a villain that feeds off strength like that and it sounds like an exciting page that would grab my attention.

  6. meh its kinda unoriginal . you get the impression that he is going to live out some nightmare or fantasy in his head but he also is fighting the fantasy or dream or he is being controlled. is that what it leads to ? because that would be quite unoriginal

  7. mate its ok and descriptive but it doesnt really grab you .

    If you want to get into comics maybe you should do something like elseworlds or something so your not bound by continuty or past stories .

    aim for something more personal or deep.
    To be honest I think this is better and this is just off the top of my head

    silver surfer after an unknown amount of time finds the earth ruined . all the heroes are dead and hardly any humans are left . silver surfer investigates looking for the cause .

    that grabs readers , not some brain washed story .

    to be honest this just feels likean average fan fiction

  8. Hey anonymous - thanks for commenting. Nah, that's not how the story plays out. What is happening is that the Surfer has been captured by the Mthliri; this is what those people do, they capture beings of immense power and then trip out on that power (kind of a call out to Basil Cronus) and then die from that trip. It's not a brainwashed tale of the Surfer, it's a captured tale of the surfer.

    Your idea is interesting, you shold write a script for it.

  9. Oh, I didn't know that Anonymous comments were allowed on the blog. Learn something new everyday.

    Anyway, it shouldn't be always Elseworlds-type stories, because that would get quite boring eventually. Besides, if you ever do get asked by an editor to pitch a story about any character, odds are that they would probably ask about something in-continuity.

  10. no need to call that guy a troll.

    just wondering are you doing this forfun or do you want to get noticed?

  11. @ matt I understand that ,but to me it felt like a brainwashed story maybe because it feels that the story although good that it should be drawn

  12. Hey peter/anonymous - not quite a troll, too polite really, and I like the comments, they raise good points.

    Why do I do this?

    Ultimately, to become a better writer. Would I like to get noticed via this, sure, but it's not going to happen because most Big Two editors would not be allowed to really look here, I assume. If the editor from a different publisher wants to come through, then that'd be great.

    This site is about making us all better writers, having some fun, and trying out different things. I like that every week I'm writing a different character and keeping my brain in action. It's good practice.

  13. @peter legally Marvel or DC employees can't look at/acknowledge scripts with their characters in as it can lead to all sorts of trouble if they do a similar story. The main purpose of Thought Balloons is to be a fun writing group where we can refine the skills that any budding comic writer could need. Though fun is a HUGE factor in it too, as you can probably notice by looking at any of the more outlandish or comedic scripts.


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