Tuesday, November 30, 2010
The Profile - Visualise - Max Barnard
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Page 1 - 6 Panels
1-- The Profile is sitting in an interrogation room (plain walls, small table and two chairs at opposite ends, that sort of dealio.). Norman Osborn is entering the room via a small door directly behind him.
SPEECH BUBBLE/NORMAN OSBORN - So, "Profile", I understand that you have a particular talent for understanding individuals, yes?
SPEECH BUBBLE/THE PROFILE - So I'm told. I'm also told that you require my services to deal with some nuisance.
2-- Norman is now beside The Profile, placing some files open on the desk in front of him. The Profile is looking up at Norman's face. Around Norman's head are Profile's visualisations, saying things such as "HATES BEING CALLED GOBBIE", "SUPERIORITY COMPLEX", "FEARS GOING BALD" and "EROTIC SPIDER-MAN FIXATION", dependant on how much you can fit in.
SPEECH BUBBLE/THE PROFILE - heh.
SPEECH BUBBLE/NORMAN OSBORN - Correct. These two, the 'god' Hercules and his sidekick brat Mr. Cho have been causing me no end of minor grievances, and I want you to tell me how to best return the favour with, shall we say, minimal effort.
3-- The Profile is looking down at the files photos on the desk as Osborn looks on.
SPEECH BUBBLE/THE PROFILE - Well Hercules is a cinch. Just exploit his feelings of masculinity, maybe take pokes at him for the young boy sidekick, the whole caped crusader angle. As for Cho... Well... Um...
SPEECH BUBBLE/NORMAN OSBORN - Yes?
4-- The Profile has gotten up and is throwing the files off the side of the table in a huff, with only the Amadeus Cho file photo remaining (whether this is evident or not really isn't that important, our readers will figure it out, they're smart people). Norman Osborn I leaning slightly away, sneering in a combination of mild shock and disgust, as is his way.
SPEECH BUBBLE/THE PROFILE - I CAN'T WORK UNDER THESE CONDITIONS! CALL ME AGAIN WHEN YOU WANT ME TO DEAL WITH SOMEONE LESS... LESS... RARGH!
5-- The Profile has left the room, slamming the door behind him. Norman Osborn is leaning over the desk and looking at the picture of Cho left on the desk.
SPEECH BUBBLE/NORMAN OSBORN - Well... I wonder...
6-- We now show what The Profile was seeing when he was looking at Cho's picture on the desk earlier (tint the panel red to make it clear that it's being viewed through his sunglasses). Around Cho's mugshot are TONS of his trademark equations (which as we know are usually invisible to the naked eye) and a single line of text in The Profile's powers' style, saying "FAIL. RETRY/ABORT?"
CAPTION/NORMAN OSBORN - ... Just what did he see to make him do *that*.
Monday, November 29, 2010
The Profile - 3.5, 10, 3.5 - Ben Rosenthal
1. A young man stands at a cash register in a small coffee house. He is wearing a short that is obviously too small for even his skeletal frame, with a picture of Che Guevara on it. His matted, unkempt hair is only slightly visible from underneath a beret. The coffee shop itself is a hip, funky place, trying its hardest to be cool. Surrounding the man at the cash register are the words “Plays World of Warcraft”, “never been kissed”.
Ok, one latte – 3.20. Head down to Brittney on the machine and she’ll make it for you right now.
2. We now see Brittney standing behind the coffee machine. Brittney is an extremely attractive girl, wearing a simple black top with a somewhat low plunging neckline. Surrounding her are the words “likes being single”, “hates underwear”.
Off to work, hun? What do you do?
3. The Profile has a sleazy look on his face. He is obviously thinking one thing.
I guess you could call me a Profiler.
4. A side panel, showing Brittney behind the coffee machine, with The Profile on the other side peering over the machine, obviously trying to look down her top. The words “open to new experiences” circles Brittney.
Oh, like on those TV shows where they catch criminals?
PROFILE
Something like that.
BRITTNEY
Well, I’m somewhat of a Profiler myself!
4. Same as panel 2. Brittney is still smiling. The speech bubble is taking up most of the panel – somewhat like a Kevin Smith panel.
You see, most espressos are purpose blended for an overall flavor. To brew these, roasters call out a brew temp, assume the machine is set to 9 bars of pump pressure, and suggest a time factor for extraction, usually around 25 seconds. However, what roasters and baristas are finding is that even existing blends have totally new horizons of possibility that we didn’t know existed before, when pressure becomes variable. It is fun to discover these, and is not hard to imagine that someday blends could be created purposefully to utilize a certain coffee machine’s flavor amplification potential. Delicate single origins also play well under these conditions too.
5. The Profile is staring blankly. His sleazy smile is gone, replaced but a dumbfounded look of annoyance. Brittney continues her explanation off panel.
6. Back to the panel of Brittney, who is still all smiles. The words surrounding her now are “coffee”, “coffee”, “coffee”.
The two profile samples produce significantly different results from the same coffee. Yet either espresso would be considered excellent, though one has a more chocolatey, full body, while the other has more flower essences, and a lemon finish.
7. A side panel showing Brittney behind the coffee machine and the Profile on the other side, similar to panel 4. They are looking directly at each other. The only words surrounding Brittney are “likes girls”.
So by profiling our shots, we get a more interesting cup. One that fully explores the...
PROFILE
Just give me my damn coffee.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
The Profile - Tell - Danial Carroll
Why The Profile?

Saturday, November 27, 2010
Rick Grimes - Grocery Shopping - Brandon Whaley
Getting to know Brandon Whaley

I'm calling a tie here.
First up, you have my old standby, the Silver Surfer. He soars the spaceways making the galaxy safe. He's humble and noble, but wants to be understood. He's selfless as well. Plus, he just looks dang cool. It says a lot about the character that a naked silver man on a surfboard could be so likeable, but what can you do? He's just plain awesome. Not to mention he starred in the first comic I ever purchased, Silver Surfer #60.
Secondly we have relative newcomer Atomic Robo. He's the creation of Tesla, a scientist at heart. However, Robo doesn't balk from adventure either. In fact, his organization, Tesladyne, has a team of Action Scientists to get the job done, whatever it may require. Part snarky robot, part millionaire playboy, Robo entranced me from day one and hasn't let go yet. Expect to see him pop up here one of these days.
What is your favourite comic?
If we're going by series, its easily Atomic Robo again. This book is better with every issue. Plus they printed one of my fan letters, so it must be good. Its a bit of pulp, a bit of noir, and a bit or gritty war action all rolled up into one great little package.
Who is your favourite comic writer?
Oh geez. Without appearing to be a broken record, I'll start by saying Brian Clevinger (writer of Atomic Robo) but I will branch out as well. I love Jason Aaron's work that I've read, and am currently in the process of devouring anything of his I can get my hands on. Grant Morrison is pure genius, and even though I don't like everything he's done, the majority of it is insane fun. Jonathan Hickman is currently rising to that Morrison level with me as well. I'd be remiss not to mention Fred van Lente and Greg Pak, who are stellar writers as a pair or alone. And finally, we have Dan Abnett and Andy Lanning, who have provided me with much amusement for the past few years.
Who has been the most fun to write so far in 26 weeks of thoughtballoons?
I've not be able to participate with every character that I've wanted to, but of the ones I have written, Mephisto has been the most fun by far. Writing someone that deliciously evil is way out of my comfort zone, which is probably what lead me to have him in his current state in my script.
Which character do you most dread having to write?
Pretty much anything indie or non-superhero. I'm not a fan of those kinds of comics for the most part, so its a lot harder for me to get into the character's head. Why I chose Rick Grimes this week is beyond me.
Also, I gotta say I too am not looking forward to writing Green Lantern. I've already decided I'm writing Denny O'neil-era Hal Jordan if he's chosen.
Which non-comics character would you most like to write?
Link, from The Legend of Zelda. I'd like to try to keep it true to the games and not have him say a word, which would be fun and challenging. I'd also like to try my hand at Eddie Drood of the Secret History novels by Simon R. Green. He's like a supernatural James Bond, and it would be a fun noir-esque tale.
Which script do you think has been your best so far?
Not a lot to pick from here, but I'd have to say my Mephisto script is the one I'm most proud of. Other than that, my Silver Surfer script with the Daredevil cameo was fun, and I thought it turned out pretty well.
Which script in total do you think has been the best on the site?
As far behind as I am on writing, I'm further behind on my reading. That said, my absolute favorite that I have read has been Max's Noir as Heck. Just read it again, and its tons of fun. Plus, I like the use of the word DAYUM.
Rick Grimes - Zombies: A Field Guide - Danial Carroll
Getting To Know Danial Carroll



Friday, November 26, 2010
Rick Grimes - Family Man - Matt Duarte
Getting to know Matt Duarte

Which non-comics character would you most like to write?
I think writing Harry Potter would be loads of fun, mostly because it would be a challenge.
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Rick Grimes - The United Front - Sime McDonald
Getting to know Sime McDonald

Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Rick Grimes - You’ll Have To Wait For The Title – Rol Hirst
Panel One.
A Midwest Sheriff in uniform and hat talks straight to camera. His face looks tired and drawn.
Sheriff: We finally got him cornered in a gas station outside Lincoln. Called in every available officer, state and local – National Guard too. They all wanted a piece of him…
Sheriff: ...for every god-awful thing he did while wearing that badge.
Panel Two.
The state coroner stands in a morgue, talking to camera. He’s a man in his 50s who’s seen a lot of terrible things in his time… but this might just be the one that breaks him. His eyes are tearing up.
Coroner: My granddaddy worked this office when Charles Starkweather hisself blew through town. Eleven dead, an' that was a nationwide scandal. Sickened him to his core.
Coroner: I’m just glad he ain’t around to see this bullpucky…
Panel Three.
A hard-faced defence attorney stands on the courtroom steps and addresses a crowd of reporters. She is indignant in the face of an unwinnable case.
Attorney: …a grave miscarriage of justice. After what happened to his wife and son, my client was clearly unfit to stand trial. In disallowing the insanity plea, the judge buckled under public pressure…
Panel Four.
Rick Grimes sits on his bunk in a prison cell, head down, the bars casting shadows over his face.
CAP (Rick): They tell me I did terrible things.
CAP (Rick): They tell me there were no zombies.
CAP (Rick): They tell me it was all in my mind.
Panel Five.
Rick is led out of his cell by a warden, guards and the prison chaplain. They’re taking him to his execution.
CAP (Rick): I can only prey they’re telling the truth.
CAP (Rick): Because if this is all just a nightmare, I don’t wanna wake up…
Guard (Shouting The Title): “Dead Man Walking!”
Getting To Know Rol Hirst
My turn already? Sheeeeeeeeeeit.
Who is your favourite comic character?
Peter Parker, the spectacular, amazing, sensational Spider-Man. I explained why when I chose him as my first Thoughtballoons pick. The only problem is I don't get to pick him again...
What is your favourite comic?
That would have to be Amazing Spider-Man too. I've been a Marvel junkie for over 30 years and have a lot of time for all the classic Lee / Kirby / Ditko creations, when handled correctly. I've dallied with DC - favourites being the Giffen DeMatteis JLI and Grant Morrison's Animal Man and Doom Patrol - though the only DC character I've stuck with through thick and thin is John Constantine, Hellblazer. Favourite comics outside the mainstream have included Cerebus (before Dave Sim went bonkers), Phonogram and anything by Adrian Tomine.
Hey, I'd have just give you a 3 word answer, but that's not everybody else is doing, now is it?
Who is your favourite comic writer?
Grant Morrison, JM DeMatteis, Peter David, Brian K Vaughan, Mark Waid, Ed Brubaker, Roger Stern, Warren Ellis and Peter Milligan have all distinguished themselves in my eyes, among many others. Not forgetting Stan Lee, of course, without whom this world would be a much poorer place.
Who has been the most fun to write so far in 26 weeks of thoughtballoons?
The obvious answer is Spidey, but the pressure was on for that and I ended up feeling a little self-conscious. My other two choices were John Constantine and Ben Grimm, and I had loads of fun with both... though having gotten my Holy Trinity of Comics Characters out of the way, I'm having a devil of a time deciding who to pick next time it's my shout.
Other than those, the most fun were Machine Man, Gamora and Ash. Although I had got Gamora completely mixed up with Nebula. I'm not sure anybody noticed.
Which character do you most dread having to write?
Loath though I am to fall in line with my peers, I have a real problem with Green Lantern too. I'm not good with intergalactic characters and the whole "green ring that can do absolutely anything unless there's yellow involved" has always seemed like one of those dopey concepts that would have been best left in the Silver Age. Plus, despite reading GL for a number of years in my younger days, I never liked Hal Jordan. I could just about squeeze out a Guy Gardener script... or G'Nort. G'Nort would be fun. I bet he's dead now, isn't he?
Which non-comics character would you most like to write?
My favourite fictional character who's not been bitten by a radioactive spider is Detective Andy Sipowicz from NYPD Blue. A complex, multi-layered, extremely tragic hero with any number of achilles heels... who just happens to hate most of the people he meets on a daily basis... but still tries to do well by them. And if Andy was taken, I'd choose Gregory House MD for many of the same reasons.
Which script do you think has been your best so far?
I was pleased to fit an entire locked room mystery into one (admittedly crowded) page in my Blonde Phantom story. Max Allan Collins would have done it better though. And I had loads of fun pitching Mr. Mxyzptlk against Zatanna. But the one I'm most proud of so far would be my John Constantine yarn. It was hard as hell capturing everything I love about that bastard mage on just one page, but I gave it my best shot.
Worst by far was my Daredevil offering, for which I won't even provide a link. Such a great character, and I threw away my chance on a dumb fat bloke gag. What an idiot!
Which script in total do you think has been the best on the site?
Let's see...
Ryan's Mephisto page sticks in my mind as a really clever concept and I'd have loved to see where his Daredevil story went next.
Ben's Spider-Man script really came from the heart and his Rick Grimes tale was a simple idea, perfectly executed.
Matt's John Constantine page was ripe for development and I only just discovered his Thing story (somehow I missed it first time round) and it's bloody marvellous.
Max consistently wins the prize for most inspired story titles. Noir As Heck and Boys Are Stupid, Throw Grappling Hooks At Them are just two that somehow live up to their seemingly impossible promise.
Simon's John Constantine script played like the teaser for a TV series I'd have sold my soul to watch and he writes a mean Damien Wayne too (albeit in Renee Montoya's script).
Brandon hasn't been around half as much as I'd have liked given the quality of his Mephisto page (among others).
And finally, Danial dazzled us so much from the comment box trenches he was an obvious call when a frontline vacancy came up. I look forward to reading more from him, especially if they're as strong as his Casanova Quinn offering.
What - I was only supposed to pick one? Says who?
OK, is that everything? Thank you. Now go read my Rick Grimes script. You know you want to...
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Rick Grimes - Just A Small Town Police Officer - Max Barnard
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Page 22 - 5 Panels
1-- Rick Grimes (in uniform) is standing in the centre of a lush, beautiful field outside of Cynthiana, Kentucky. Everything is colourful as heck, with flowers, green leaves blowing by, and the town in front of him looking bright and cheerful.
SPEECH BUBBLE/RICK GRIMES - A'yup, life sure is pretty good around here nowadays.
2-- We're now viewing Rick from the front, gripping his chest in pain.
SPEECH BUBBLE/RICK GRIMES - NNGH!
3-- Rick's now on his knees, double over in pain. Colour is starting to wash out of the panel.
SPEECH BUBBLE/RICK GRIMES - ... Heart attack?
4-- Rick is looking at the hand he'd used to grip his chest, which is now covered in blood. The colour has washed out so much now that there's only a little bit of colour left in the panel, save for the blood, which is completely dark red.
SPEECH BUBBLE/RICK GRIMES - Blood? But... I'm not...
5-- Everything's now in black and white. Rick is lying on the floor of a desolate city, with a hole ripped in his chest, blood pouring out. His face is blank as he remembers the reality of his situation.
SPEECH BUBBLE/RICK GRIMES - Ah... Life's still awful.
CAPTION - THE END
Getting To Know Max Barnard

-Chamber (Jono Starsmore), of Generation X fame. Say what you like about your supermen and wolverines, Chamber is where it's at. Man's a sullen english youth, jaded with the world because HE HAS AN EXPLOSION OF ENERGY FOR ORGANS... And his jaw. He's been in some great stories and had a unique look that sticks with you (and even now as a descendant of Apocalypse his look is pretty damn interesting). And that's all we can really ask for, isn't it?
If you've never given the character a chance, or haven't even heard of him before I implore you all to pay attention to new trades in your local comic shop in the next few weeks, where Generation X Classic vol. 1 (UK) should be hitting shelves at some point. You need it.
What is your favourite comic?
-Currently or all-time? Because at the moment it's undoubtedly Peter David's X-Factor, a woefully underrated series that blends comedy and tragedy in ways that other books can only dream of. All-time though... That's a doozy. It's a toss-up between Fantastic Four/Iron Man: Big In Japan by Zeb Wells and Seth Fish, or the Chamber miniseries from a few years back by BKV and Lee Ferguson. Go get a coin, decide for yourselves!

Who is your favourite comic writer?
-Again, Peter David rears his lovely head again here for pretty much the same reasons I love his X-Factor, but have to give this to Zeb Wells, who just *gets* every character he writes. Not just that, but Wells gets to write stories beyond anything you'd expect with a distinct scripting style that manages to represent his scripting ability whilst also catering to whichever FANTASTIC artist he's managed to get his jammy hands on. In fact I think I can say that he's not only my favourite writer but also totally who I aspire to be like in my own writing. No idea if that's showing in my stuff around here yet.
Who has been the most fun to write so far in 26 weeks of thoughtballoons?
-It's a cliché to say Doctor Doom, but I'd be a liar if I said anyone else. There's just something magical and captivating about this thoroughly insane yet regal presence (or at least he likes to ACT like he's regal), capable of doing just about anything better than anyone else. Not just that, but a line that I'd have to dismiss from a script for being hammy when writing any other character? Never happens with Doom. Man's the very SPIRIT of ham. He is, in fact, the Ham Supreme. True Story. And all that from a guy who debuted blackmailing four heroes into stealing Blackbeard's treasure. SO fun.
I have to give a shout-out to Renee Montoya here as well, whom I enjoyed so much that I'd been writing further pages starring her (the first few of which can be found HERE, with the rest to appear in 2011). However I have to disqualify her on the basis that I changed her characteristics a fair bit for the sake of my elseworlds-style tale.
Which character do you most dread having to write?
-I generally have a good time with any character I'm writing. I mean I'm not a hater, any character has potential, doesn't it? But there ARE character's I find so uninteresting I honestly don't think I'd have anything to say with them. Most of them come from independant comics, where there's far less room to move away from how a creator has defined the character. Also any character from a sodding zombie comic. I'm entirely sick of zombies by this point in time. Especially anyone from that godforsaken series The Walking Dead, overrated comic series that it is.... Oh... Wait.
Oh, and I honestly don't think I could do anything interesting with Hal Jordan or Barry Allen. There's just nothing to them. Completely lacking in personality, the both of them.

-Inquisitor Gregor Eisenhorn from Dan Abnett's brilliant trilogy of Warhammer 40k novels, Xenos, Malleus and Hereticus. He's such a well-defined character with so much more depth than you initially see. Not just that but he's a character with a lot of undefined history from his earlier days. Seriously, writing up some short tales of a younger Eisenhorn would be a dream come true for me.
Which script do you think has been your best so far?
-My Mephisto script, "Ambrose Burnside". It's what I perceive as me at my writing best, telling a story that uses the existing character in a new way alongside something very real, which in this case was historical figure Ambrose Burnside, the man responsible for sideburns. I researched, retooled and put in some real time into making a script that really displayed where my strengths were. And now I have to spend the rest of my time on the site trying to top it.
And of course again I have to mention Renee Montoya - Noir As Heck, because that was so very unlike anything I've ever written and completely just 'pops' for me.
Which script in total do you think has been the best on the site?
-Sime McDonald's The Thing script, "Man of the People". I'm not one for thinking in all that much great detail about current events, but what Sime managed here showed that not only can someone use the current state of the real world as a great spring-board for stories, but also that you can do it whilst keeping everything in-character and incredibly well-scripted and paced, something that certain professional creators would do well to observe. I doubt I could ever do a script like that myself, and it pleases me to see Simon reach such a grand level of quality. And considering he tops himself every week, that's REALLY saying something.
Great, now it seems like I'm downplaying everyone else. DON'T HATE ME, I LOVE (almost) ALL OF YOU!
Monday, November 22, 2010
Rick Grimes - A Moment - Ben Rosenthal
The following contains a minor spoiler. It is not essential to the plot, but does spoil a transpiring nonetheless.
1. We are looking down on a table. A football sits on the table amongst some wrapping paper. It has been well worn, but is still in reasonably good shape. The wrapping spread underneath it is obviously supposed to wrap the ball. A homemade card can be seen poking out from underneath the wrapping paper.
2. The football is half in shot, an we can now see more of the table. Bits of discarded paper and sticky tape are sprawled across it. Someone has obviously had a hard time trying to wrap the ball.
3. Rick Grimes sits at the table. His head is bowed, hand on his forehead. Although we cannot see his eyes, we can tell he is looking at the stump on the end of his arm. In front of him is the ball he was trying to wrap. He looks deflated, defeated.
4. A close up of Rick’s face. Most of it is shadowed, his good hand blocking the light. Tears have welled in his eyes, with fresh trails staining each of his cheeks.
RICK
I’m sorry.
I'm not sure that I convey it clearly enough, but I wanted to show Rick at a point where he breaks down. Something as simple as wrapping present for his son is made extremely difficult due to the loss of his hand. The "I'm sorry" does not refer to his inability to wrap the gift, but rather a reflection on the limitations that have been put on him. Not only from losing his hand, but from being in the world which they now inhabit.