Thursday, November 18, 2010

Ash - The Defence - Sime McDonald

1. A polished black Lincoln is driving down the freeway in mid-afternoon traffic.

I pride myself on my ability to keep my clients out of prison.
I manipulate – legally, I should stipulate - the law in order to instigate the desired outcome.

2. Defence Attorney William Connelly (new character, no reference) is facing us. He’s driving the Lincoln, hands planted firmly on the wheel. His complexion is pale; he looks exhausted, like he’s just faced off against the ultimate prosecutor in the courtroom.

I’d never had a case involving an innocent man with the desire to be found guilty.
Not until recently.
Not until Ash Williams.

3. Flashback to weeks ago. Ash Williams is behind bars, leaning against them, lips pursed, whistling; not at all fazed. Connelly looks animated, arms up in the air, unable to believe what he’s just heard.

We were at Calender Call; and in a few minutes I was due to tell the judge we were ready to go to trial.
That’s when he told me...

You want to go to prison?!
That makes no - -

4. Ash is frowning now, eyebrows furrowed. Connelly’s still aghast.

You’re my lawyer.
If you can’t do your job, I’ll find someone who can.

I am doing my - -
It’s my job to defend y - -

5. On Connelly, fuming.

Fine. Fine.
You want to go to prison? I’ll get you sent to prison.

6. Cut back to the present, in prison. From our vantage point, the entire place appears to be overridden with deadites. And Ash is unleashing some major violence on a bunch of them; a prison-made blade is affixed to his stump.



  1. For someone who didn't know the character, you've done a great job writing him. Nice one!

    The first thing I thought when I saw a lawyer involved was that perhaps Ash had been arrested for shooting the old lady at the end of Army of Darkness. I doubt very much that the defence, "She was a deadite!" would hold up in court :P

  2. Thanks Danial. I think you can always tell when I don't know a character too well - I bring in one of my own creations, haha!

  3. Sime - I like the concept here but something is lacking in the translation. I think the transition of time is what throws me, the Lincoln, then the flashback, then we cut forward. I can't pin it down, somethings not working for me.

    This would have worked with just Ash sitting in his cell, talking to his dead bunk mate, then raging out into a yard full of deadites.

    But, damn, do I love the concept.

  4. Yeah the transitions are a bit ghastly aren't they, Ryan? I reckon I would have nailed it if I could've written a longer script, made it 'flow' better. I think I've got the nugget of a good idea here, just didn't have the room for expansion.

  5. Maybe I wasn't paying proper attention, but the transitions worked fine for me, Simon. Great idea, really nicely executed, especially if you weren't familiar with Ash.

  6. Likewise, transitions worked for me Sime. I really dig seeing how we each side step characters we don't know much about. You did a great job here.


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