Panel One.
Headshot. Superboy is talking to Wonder Girl on his cell phone. They’re discussing their relationship. He wears a serious expression for a serious subject. In the background we hear lots of crashing and exploding.
CASSIE (from cell-phone) So I guess what I’m asking you is, Conner… do you want us to get back together?
SFX: CRASH-BAKOOM!
Panel Two.
Pull out to show the scene behind Superboy… a thrown car is hurtling towards the back of his head. Behind the car, something else is exploding.
CONNER: Well, Cassie, that’s what I wanted to… I mean…
SFX: KRAKA-BROOM!
Panel Three.
Without turning his head, Conner deflects the hurtling car with his tactile telekinetic forcefield thang. He lifts his hand and the car bounces away in the opposite direction. In the background, another building explodes.
SFX: B-TANG!
CONNER: Look, Cassie, I’m really sorry…
CONNER: Can I get back to you…?
Panel Four.
Pull out to show the cause of the devastation behind Superboy. An enormous, city-wrecking clash between Superman and Lex Luthor (in his green battle armour). They’re knocking the crap out of each other. Conner turns and watches them, heaving a huge sigh like a bored teenager who’s seen it all before.
SFX: KA-BAZOOM!
CONNER: …Mom and Dad are fighting again.
I've got no criticism for ya, but I have to ask: which one is the mother?
ReplyDeleteThat's what they're always fighting about.
ReplyDeleteI love that he's blasé to the destruction behind him. That's very cool.
ReplyDeleteStrangely enough, I see Supes as the Mum, because Lex has that masculine anger inside him :P
Lex is obviously the girl, with his sudden rage bursts and "YOU RUINED MY LIIIIIIIIIIFE" attitude. Supes is always like "dude, chill".
ReplyDelete"Superboy: Man and Dog" by J.D. Coughlan
ReplyDeleteThe Premise: Opening of an Elseworlds-style story set in the future when an older Conner Kent is no longer Superboy, and lives a simpler life in Smallville with Krypto.
PAGE ONE
1 -- A long horizontal panel depicting a very modest cabin in a field. No other visable buildings. The sun is rising in the background, making it look very much like one of those old paintings you always see.
CAPTION: Smallville
CAPTION: 20 Years From Now
TAILLESS: Help!
The tailless speech bubble should be in the corner, quite small, and opposite from the cabin and the captions.
2 -- Closer on the cabin's front door. Conner is exiting. He is older, more rugged, and gone is his youthful cheer. He wears his familiar black t-shirt (sans logo) and blue jeans, but with a beaten baseball cap pulled low.
TAILLESS: Please, help me!
TAILLESS: Oh God!
TAILLESS: My daughter! Someone save my daughter!
3 -- Tight on Conner's face. Grim. These voices are from his super-hearing, calling out to him. We assume he is going to save them. They are now all overlapping, surrounding Conner.
TAILLESS: Help me!
TAILLESS: I'll do anything!
TAILLESS: Where is everyone!?
TAILLESS: Help!
TAILLESS: I can't feel my legs!
KRYPTO: (Off-panel) Arf!
4 -- Same shot of Conner. He is now looking downward and the tailless balloons are gone, as if cut off.
5 -- Conner's POV of Krypto, looking up at him playfully and full of the same old, reliable boundless joy.
6 -- Conner looking down again, this time with a smile on his face, his responsabilties forgotten.
CONNER: Walk?
7 -- Krypto now looks even more overjoyed. His head is down low and his behind is up in the air, tail wagging.
8 -- Another long horizontal panel. Silhouette of Conner and Krypto strolling off, the cabin in the foreground.
CONNER: Yeah, that's right.
CONNER: Just a walk...
@Rol - you've got that mixture beyween the personal and super lives of heroes, nice.
ReplyDeleteAnd I see Superman as the calm mother and Lex as that angry man at the world coming home from work every day feeling unappreciated.
But it would seem that the whole question is more of a Rorschach test, your answer shows your perceptions of gender within the world. Cool.
@JD - for first reference, we usually like play at home scripts to be in the comment thread of the Why...? post for the week, see http://www.thought-balloons.com/2010/11/why-superboy.html
ReplyDeleteWe all get automated emails telling us the script is there and we check it out, no worries. I hope in the future, and from your quality you should do more, you can add them there for eac character, each week.
I have to say, your script kind of creeped me out, in a good way. Conner just seems so calm, and when he says Walk? it's just like a bomb. I can't believe Krypto is letting him getting away with it.
You've set the page out well, realistic expectations for the one page, and it's a great opening. Great stuff, mate.
Ryan: Thanks man! I was aiming for eery, but didn't know if it would come across in just one page. Guess that's what this whole excercise is for, huh?
ReplyDeleteShould I repost it on the "Why...?" thread?
@JD - no man, we'll all still see it here, too, no probs for now.
ReplyDeleteOh, no, I think eerie comes along with the territory. It's quite the tonal piece. Can't wait to see the tone you use with next week's character :)
@JD: You actually made me like Superboy. Nice work!
ReplyDeleteP.S. Yeah, that's right, I like the darker stuff :)
@Rol - Man, that was awesome. Loved it.
ReplyDelete@JD - Wow. Certainly a different tone from the other entries, which I'm digging. Good stuff.
@JD - nice tone to it, not a bad pace, and it does something interesting with the character. I'm happy with this.
ReplyDeleteThough would Krypto still be alive 20 years on? I genuinely have no idea how that dog ages.
@Max: I'm playing the Kryptonian card on that one.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the kind words, everyone!
@Rol: Sorry I "hijacked" your post :)
ReplyDeleteI love the tone and of your piece and. Perfect for Superboy, as is the dialogue.
No worries, JDC - this is the most comments I've ever had! (Even if most of them weren't for me.)
ReplyDeleteThanks for joining in, hope to read more of your scripts in coming weeks.