The following takes place at a time before Lois and Clark were married, or even dating.
1. A high view of Lois Lane sitting at a coffee shop. In front of her is her notepad. She is looking out of the window, deep in thought.
LOIS (Caption)
The pen is mightier than the sword.
2. A closer panel, with Lois putting her pen to paper. She looks unsure of herself.
LOIS (Caption)
In a world of super men and women, that’s easy to forget.
3. Lois has the pen in hand, hovering above the page, hesitant.
LOIS (Caption)
My name is Lois Lane, and I am a reporter for the Daily Planet. I can’t fire lasers from my eyes. I don’t have a fancy car for fighting crime, and I definitely can’t talk to fish.
4. Lois is writing in her notebook, her mind made up.
LOIS (Caption)
I can do something much more powerful. I research, discover...
5. The bottom of the note page reads “Clark Kent is Superman.”
LOIS (Caption)
...and write.
Goddamn, brilliant. This page just zings along and the end got me. I might go out on a limb and say this is one of your best scripts and it's because of it's simplicity, and the juxtaposition between the panels and the captions.
ReplyDeleteGame, set, match. You've done it. Lois is interesting, but not overwritten, and I am hooked. If CBR ran just that one page as a teaser for this as a Lois Lane: Year One type project I would be very intrigued.
Damn, now I have to rewrite my page to make it so much better.
Great page! I was really wondering where it was going as I read it. Obvious in hindsight, but the reveal works perfectly.
ReplyDeleteBen: Love it. To me it highlights the fact that despite all their special abilities, a normal person can still exploit a super-person's greatest weakness -- their secret identity.
ReplyDeleteThis is well structured, immediately visual and features strong scripting. Part of me shudders at the opening line because it's something I feel I've read in far too many comics over the years, but it fits so well what you've written here it'd almost be criminal to not use it.
ReplyDeleteAnd I liked it more the second time I read it, which is always a good sign.
Seems such a simple premise but it's scripted so incredibly well, so fluidly, and somehow you've captured Lois in just a few panels and a couple of captions. Brilliant, Ben.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the kind words guys. I am honestly blown away by the response. I mean, I was happy with the script, but wow.
ReplyDeleteTruth be told, I did excatly what my title says. I have very little knowledge about Lois, so I kept it simple.
Thanks again.