Monday, February 28, 2011

Venom – Hide and Seek - Ben Rosenthal

1. Night. A girl running is through the windy woods, scared. There is a cabin in the distance, which she is desperately trying to get to.

CAPTION: You cannot run.

2. The girl has reached the cabin, and has slammed the door shut behind her. A shadow of a head has begun to appear on the lower third of the door, as someone is approaching it.

CAPTION: You cannot hide.

3. We see the girl has sat in a corner of the old cabin. Her knees are pulled up to her chin. She is extremely scared.

CAPTION: We will always find you.

4. From the girl’s point of view, we see the door kicked in by large, muscular figure which stands before her. We cannot make out any features of this man, as he is just a dark silhouette as lightening flashes outside.

CAPTION: Don’t fight.

5. Back to the same angle as Panel 3. The man’s shadow covers the cowering girl, with his arm reaching for her. The girl is looking up through her fingers. The only emotion that we can see on her face through her fingertips is that of fear. Tears stream down from her eyes.

CAPTION: Accept us. Let us out.



6. This panel is just of the word CHOMP. It should look bloody and sickening.

7. The man is on the ground, staring in horror at the bloody stump of where his arm used to be. Venom stands above the man, having just transformed from the girl. Blood drips from its grinning jaws.



Sunday, February 27, 2011

Venom - The Killing Ground - Sime McDonald

Flash Thompson's Special Forces partner Kate (not a new character for once! See Amazing Spider-Man 654.1) has her handgun drawn and is aiming it squarely at Cletus Kasady, without his Symbiote, curled up on the floor of a disheveled apartment, eyes wide, like a junkie waiting for his next fix.

Trail's gone cold.


Kate holsters her handgun, looks down at Kasady pitifully.

No sign of Corporal Thompson. 
No sign of the Symbiote.

Kasady's is gone too.
Connection? Got to be.

Kate's driving down a New York street in a battered jeep, jaw set, her mouth a hard line; focused on her mission. The passenger seat is littered with manila folders and photocopied documents; sheets of paper are spilled out on the dashboard. The jeep has become her mobile office.

Seven days since Corporal Thompson vanished with the Symbiote.

In that time, Mac Gargan and Eddie Brock have also gone missing.
The tombstones of Anne Weying and Angela Fortunato have been desecrated.

And Spider-Man, contracted by Rogers to aid my investigation,
hasn't reported for duty in forty-eight hours. 

Like the General says, you wanna get something done,
you gotta do it yourself.

PANEL FOUR (largest panel on page)
Cut to the interior of an abandoned church bell tower. Spider-Man, Eddie Brock, Mac Gargan and Flash Thompson are all looking up at the Venom symbiote looming over them, tendrils looking sharp and lethal as always, its mouth wide open, teeth gleaming. Behind it lurks the Carnage symbiote. 

One other possible location I can think of. Long shot, but
sentimental memory might bring the creature back there.

You can't do this to me!!
Everything I've done for you - - !!

We were one!!
We're inseparable!

Once upon a time.

Tight on Venom, snarling.

No longer.

Cut back to Kate's jeep. In the distance we can see the Church and its bell tower. She's headed that way.

The place where it suffered one of its first defeats.
The perfect killing ground.

Why Venom?

Much like he's done with the Punisher, Venom is set to rise from the ashes of its once derisory hole with Rick Remender's upcoming series. False bravado? Not at all. Trust me; it's going to be awesome. Venom's popularity has oscillated over time. He entered the world of Spider-Man as a mega-popular antagonist, maintained that popularity for a period of time, but eventually lost his luster. Take note, Deadpool, the effect of over -exposure.

Venom's recent published history has helped the character reacquire at least a fraction of his prior esteem. Warren Ellis added Venom to his Thunderbolts roster and Brian Michael Bendis made him a member of the Dark Avengers. But Remender's take - turning Venom into a 007-esque secret agent hosted by Flash Thompson - looks set to redefine the Symbiote and breathe life into a character who is, let's be honest, in desperate need of an overhaul. 

But y'know what - whatever Rick Remender can do, we can do just as well. I believe that. Read over the hundreds of tenured scripts and play-at-home scripts since Thought-Balloons' inception and you'll believe it too. So let's see what you've got, ladies and gentlemen; once again, it's time to step up and show the world how good we are.

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Star Ratings

Hi all,

The week that was Power Man & Iron Fist has come to a close, and what a week it was. Many went for the comedy script, some put different people into different costumes, but on the whole it was a week of quality - as I think every week is here at thoughtballoons.

Before Sime launches the next character, and I promise you it is a doozy, I just wanted to give all of our regular watchers and PAH-ers a friendly reminder that we have put up a rating system on the site where you can cast your judgment on each page scripted.

Below the Labels on each post, you will find a set of stars. The stars on the left are the aggregated score for the script and the stars on the right at the ones you can vote with. We've got the following rating system set up so please feel free to use it every time. It is overall meant to be a bit of fun but it will also give us some understanding of what you think of the script even if you don't have the impetus to comment.

1 Star  = Hated It
2 Stars = Didn't Like It
3 Stars = Liked It
4 Stars = Really Liked It
5 Stars = Loved It

The more you all vote the better we will become, hopefully.

Otherwise, it's probably just a few short hours until the next character comes up. It's going to be a whole world of new tricks and delights. Enjoy.

Power Man and Iron Fist - Planes, Trains, and Automobiles - Danial Carroll

PAGE ONE (four panels)

PANEL 1. Headshot of the current Power Man and Iron Fist in front of a graffitied wall. They are just talking to each other.



PANEL 2. Mid shot of both. You can tell from their posture that they are seated.



Luke was telling me that the Thunderbolts use Man-Thing to teleport them around.

PANEL 3. Wider shot. We now see that they are sitting on a bench against a concrete wall.

Even that would do.

You're right, we need something...

PANEL 4. Very wide shot, revealing them to be sitting in a subway train station. A large sign above their heads reads, "Central Station". People nearby are staring at them, one young child even pointing.

This is just embarrassing.

Friday, February 25, 2011

Power Man & Iron Fist - First Impressions - Matt Duarte

Power Man & Iron Fist on "First Impressions" by Matt Duarte

Panels one through four are all the same size, on a 2x2 grid. The fifth panel is a big one, roughly one third of the page.

Panel 1

Description: Luke Cage, in his original Power Man costume (yellow shirt and tiara, yes) is walking down a New York street at night. He is doing so decisively, as if looking for someone. He is putting his hands to his mouth, shouting.

POWER MAN: Yo, IRON FIST (logo), where are you?!

POWER MAN: Time to come out and play! I w’s paid to bring you in, and Luke Cage always delivers.

Panel 2

Description: Seen from above a building, with Power Man standing in the middle of a street. We can see a leg in trademark yellow booties and green pants reaching all the way down to the ankle.

IRON FIST: So you are the famous POWER MAN (logo)? I was expecting someone taller.

POWER MAN: And *you* are Iron Fist? But you’re... No one told me...

Panel 3

Description: Power Man is walking away now, with his back to the reader. There is no one else around him anymore.

POWER MAN: Forget it, I’m not gonna fight you...

POWER MAN: My momma taught me not to hit girls.

Panel 4

Description: A completely red panel


Panel 5

Description: Luke Cage is knocked on the ground, above him stands tall Misty Knight in an Iron Fist green and yellow costume. Her afro hairstyle is magnificently big, and there’s a huge snarky expression on her face. She is flexing her robotic arm which is glowing with yellow energy, the chi of Shou-Lao the Undying.

IRON FIST: And my sensei taught me not to hit fools.

IRON FIST: Guess we both gonna break some rules tonight, huh?

NEXT: It’s on, sucka!

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Power Man & Iron Fist - Justice - Sime McDonald


Wide panel. Samantha Lehane (new character, no reference), a fifty-something, frail, gaunt woman is standing in front of Luke Cage and Iron Fist, the latter of which is clad in his costume, Luke dressed in his standard street attire. She is prodding a finger into Cage’s chest, her stance very much antagonistic. In the background, the Avengers are cleaning up after their battle with Mole Man and his Moloids, their unconscious bodies strewn about the street.

You owe me, Cage.

You both do.

Cage remains stoic, his emotions masked. Iron Fist isn’t able to match Cage’s blasé expression; he’s remembering.

Lady, we don’t owe you nothing.
Me and him, we did nothing wrong by you.
We did everything by the book.

Samantha waves away his words, rage-filled eyes focused on Iron Fist. She knows he’s the weaker link in this pairing.

Such bullshit.
You did everything wrong.
You know it.
I know it.
Only you won’t say it out loud.
You won’t admit it to my face.

Iron Fist has his hand placed gently on her shoulder; giving it a reassuring squeeze. Cage’s arms are crossed.

Samantha, you kidnapped your daughter.
You ran away with her. We were hired to find her.
To return her to her legal guardian, her father.

Which we did.

I’m sorry you’re still bitter after so long, but - - -

Samantha swipes away his arm.

You think this is about me being fucking bitter?
You think, ten years later, I'm comin' to you 'cause I'm bitter?!
You’ve been playing superheroes with your Avengers for too long, the both of you.
Forgotten what it’s like on the street.
Forgotten what justice is.

Now Cage is pissed. He’s had enough of this woman shouting at him. He looms over her. But she’s not frightened. She doesn’t cower. She stands tall, looking up at Cage.

Lady, all we do, every day, is justice.

Oh yeah?
Do you even remember who my girl’s father is?
Do you know the man you gave a four year old baby too?
Do you know what he's become?

Which leads to the final page splash of - - - 

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Power Man & Iron Fist - Brothers - Rol Hirst

Panel One.

Luke Cage is being burnt alive by white hot flames. Even with his invulnerable steel skin, he’s in agony.

CAP (Luke): Me an’ Danny, we’re closer than brothers. Certainly closer than I ever was to my own loser brother, this piece of $#!@ putting the beating on me right now.

Panel Two.

Elsewhere. Danny Rand (in traditional green costume) is sent flying by a blow from a fiery red fist – like some demonic version of his own Iron Fist.

CAP (Danny): Luke and I, we’re pretty powerful apart. But together… some say together we’re unstoppable.

CAP (Danny): They had to know that. They had to know the only way to defeat us…

Panel Three.

Luke is down, unable to take the heat and ferocity of this attack any longer. We can see his attacker now as a figure made out of flames, not letting up the assault on our fallen hero. It’s Luke’s brother James, aka Coldfire, but more powerful than we’ve ever seen him before.

CAP (Luke): …wuz divide an’ conquer.

CAP (Luke): Thing is, I know exactly who’s conquering Mama Cage’s only good son… though I sure as $#!@ don’t know how he powered up like this…

Panel Four.

A series of three small panels follows, detailing the continued assault on Danny Rand. Fist takes one blow after another, close and intense, from his flaming red attacker.

CAP (Luke): I just wish I knew who they sent after Fist…

Voice (off-panel): Daniel, Daniel, Daniel…

Panel Five.

Another blow sends Danny smashing into a wall.

Voice (off-panel): Ten years before your father took you on your first fateful journey to K’un Lun…

Panel Six.

Danny slumps to the floor as a shadow falls across him.

Voice (off-panel): Daddy dearest tried once before to access the nexus that would return him to his native land…

Voice (off-panel): He failed. He ended up somewhere much, much worse.

Panel Seven.

Final panel, bigger than the previous three, reveals Danny’s attacker. He is ten years older than Danny and looks like some twisted, demonic counterpart to Iron Fist. As well as the flaming red fists, the top half of his face is seared away to the skull – like some hellish mockery of Danny’s own mask, with additional “devil horns” sprouting from his forehead. He is naked from the waist up and instead of the dragon scar on Danny’s chest, he boasts a flaming serpent. The sash that hangs from Danny’s belt and from the back of his mask is also replicated here with writhing, burning, angry snakes.

This is Devil Fist… standing over the battered and defeated body of his long lost brother, Daniel Rand.

Devil Fist: Wendell Rand-K’ai lost his firstborn son to that savage and brutal place.

Devil Fist: It took me almost forty years to find my way back…

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Power Man & Iron Fist-With Michael Jai White As Luke Cage - Max Barnard

The Premise: Oh just go watch Black Dynamite already!


Danny Rand, The Iron Fist, is standing awkwardly at a counter-top in a homebrew laboratory (picture reference can be provided as needed), looking REALLY embarrassed.

DANNY RAND: Luke, do I HAVE to do this? It seems... Awkward.

LUKE CAGE(O/P): Aw c'mon man, I been wanting to do this $#!& for ages.

DANNY RAND: ... Well... Okay.

We're looking over Danny's shoulder, with Luke Cage now in the room, wearing his classic costume (sans the tiara) and sporting a big moustache, throwing some eyeballs on the counter.

LUKE CAGE: You told him to keep an eye out for me.

Danny is looking down at the eyes, bemused.

DANNY RAND: Are those... candy?

LUKE CAGE(O/P): C'mon man, be cool.

A window smashes as Luke's tiara flies through it.


Danny is hit in the arm by the tiara, knocking him over.



1.6 Luke has run over to Danny and is crouched over him, smiling maniacally.


DANNY RAND: So... Lame...

Monday, February 21, 2011

Power Man and Iron Fist – What’s in a Name? - Ben Rosenthal

The following takes place in the year 2104 – 5 years after 2099 (obviously). Previously, Miguel O’Hara aka Spider-Man 2099 has discovered that all of the corporations that rule the 2099 world fall under the control of just one man - Mr. Hikaru, CEO of Stark-Fujikawa. As such, Mr. Hikaru rules all of North America. He is not a kind dictator. The following scene is the first time Miguel and Mr. Hikaru meet each other. Miguel has crashed into Mr. Hikaru’s office via a window.

1. Miguel O’Hara crouches in his Spider-Man suit. His mask is off.

You’re through ‘Power Man’. Or ‘Iron Fist’, or whatever name you’re going by now.

2. An elderly Japanese man stands in an expensive office. He looks both feeble yet threatening at the same time, dressed in traditional Japanese wear. Both of his hands are behind his back, with splinters of glass from Miguel’s entrance littering the floor surrounding him. This man is Mr. Hikaru CEO of Stark-Fujikawa, and as Miguel has only recently found out, the man his late father reported to when he ‘owned’ Alchemax.
Behind Mr. Hikaru is a desk. A large window stands behind the desk. Out that window we can see the world of 2104 – cars flying past, large skyscrapers, etc. There is a large hole in the window where Miguel has broken through.

I prefer Master, young O’Hara. Something your father learned to call me. As will you, in time.

3. Miguel is coiled into a classic Spidey pose. Close to the floor, ready to pounce. He is angry.

I am not my father, and you are anything but my Master!

4. Miguel is in mid-air, talons outstretched, ready to strike.

5. A fist which appears to be made completely of metal has punched Miguel across the jaw.


6. Miguel is crumpled on the ground, holding his broken jaw. The fist of iron is visible in the right hand side of the panel.

The names ‘Power Man’ and ‘Iron Fist’ do not only refer to the way I rule this company, and this country, young O’Hara.

7. Mr Hikaru is standing, smirking with his fists clenched. Both of his arms are coated in metal, with a yellow surge of power, almost looking like electricity, covering him. It appears to be emitting from his eyes. He looks powerful.

No, unfortunately for you the meaning is quite literal.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Power Man & Iron Fist – Run Interference – Ryan K Lindsay

1. Danny Rand’s fist knocks on a door.
Caption (Misty): I need you to run distraction.
Caption (Cage): Oh, no, not like last time.
Caption: A Hallowe’en not long enough ago.

2. Some mob goon opens the door.
Goon: Who’re you s’posed to be? Ain’t no candy here.

3. A large splash in the middle of the page cut into two panels. This panel shows Danny Rand dressed in Luke Cage’s gear: silk shirt opened to the waist, chain belt, tiara on the head. The clothes even look just a little too big for Rand. He stands with a mighty chi fist held aloft proudly.
Rand: I am the mighty Power Fist!
Goon (op): What that make you, tough guy?

4. Luke Cage stands, not so proud, in Rand’s yellow mask and massive yellow-collared outfit.
Cage: Uh…Iron…Man.
Cage (wh): No, wait, that ain’t right.

5. Rand laughs heartily in his costume, hands on his hips, head thrown back.
Rand: Nevermind. Our friend round back has already liberated your sweat shop dogs as you stood here.
Cage: Oh, yeah!

6. Cage launches a kick up into the mob goon but he’s no martial artist so his leg only reaches the goon’s low chest for a crushing blow forcing him out of the panel. Oh, and the pants are so tight and short they look like bike shorts.
Cage: Sweet Christmas…

7. Cage is doubled over with discomfort. Rand is popping his collar.
Cage: …these pants aren’t built for fighting.
Cage: And you left me with Iron Man?
Rand: You’d rather be Fist Man?

Why Power Man & Iron Fist?

This is an intriguing question, for me, because I could have simply chosen Iron Fist on his own. And perhaps one day I will. But for now I have selected the duo because they work so well together. Two exploitation characters from the 70s (blaxploitation and the kung fu explosion) aren’t going to last long so in a last ditch effort to keep them afloat we get them paired together. And like salt and chocolate or beer and netball, they actually worked pretty damn well as a pairing. You needed a specific taste set to truly appreciate them but I feel overall this duo were a success.

I’ve read a lot of the old PM&IF issues, as I slowly track them down on eBay. They’re fun – that’s the biggest thing you get from them. There are other emotions and plot points on offer but mostly they are just fun. You can only get so serious with a big guy in a tiara and chain belt and his little buddy with the massive collar and yellow booties. You’ve got to have some levity in every issue and the series did it well.

Today, we have two status quo changes. Luke Cage now runs an Avengers team (who would have bet on that ten years ago?) and Danny Rand had one of the greatest runs of a superhero comic in a long time. Genius. The two remain staunch friends but they aren’t the dynamic duo any longer. They’re just two blokes with long history.
We also have Iron Fist now acting master to a young, and new, Power Man. A miniseries for these two just dropped, and it is damn fine fun. It channels the energy of the old series and that’s a very cool thing to find. Comics don’t have to be gritty and heart wrenching all the time, sometimes they can simply entertain.

When writing this week’s script you have plenty of choices to make. Will it be old school PM&IF or the new incarnation? Will it be a team up or just two ships passing in the night. Will Cage wear his old ‘costume’ or is being black enough of a new ‘costume’? You can tie in the Avengers or Heroes For Hire or the Thunderbolts because they’ve all got ties to these men.

But, ultimately, will you have fun writing it? I hope so.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Dracula - Waterlogged - Danial Carroll

PAGE ONE (four panels)

PANEL 1. Mid-shot of a highly malnourished Dracula, staring right at us. His hair and clothing are swirling around him weightlessly. He is underwater.

I won't bore you with how I found myself here?

PANEL 2. Full view of Dracula, revealing that his feet are shackled to a cement block.

Suffice to say that that I was caught off-guard in a weakened state.

PANEL 3. Close up of Dracula's red eyes. Despite the closeness, you can tell he's smiling.

None of that matters now...

PANEL 4. From behind Dracula, we can see a large shark swimming up to him.

For fate has smiled upon me.

Friday, February 18, 2011

Dracula - Chew on This - Matt Duarte

Dracula in “Chew on This” by Matt Duarte

This script takes place in the same universe as the comic Chew. It has 5 panels, divided into three large rows. Panel 2 and 4 are text insets next to the previous panels, which if you have read Chew, you know what they look like.

Panel 1

Description: A man in his thirties is walking in through a door. He is wearing a white coat on top of a rather formal attire (shirt, tie, etc). He is of Turkish origin, and therefore his skin is a bit dark. This is our protagonist, Arikan. In the room he is entering, which is his office, there is a desk and a woman sitting behind it, Mina (his secretary).

ARIKAN: Good morning, Mina.

MINA: Good morning, Doctor. There is already quite a lot for you to do today. The Chief of Police of Ankara called and insisted that you tackle a case seemingly impossible to solve.

ARIKAN: Of course, those buffoons cannot solve anything without my knowledge.

Panel 2

Description: An image of Arikan. He is waving at the reader (as if breaking the fourth wall) with a full red background.

CAPTION: This is Arikan Culah. He is one of the most renowned forensic doctors in all of Turkey despite his young age. In his rather short career, he has solved more cold cases than the rest of the Istanbul police force put together, building quite a reputation for himself. What most people don’t know is that Arikan is a cibopath.

Panel 3

Description: Arikan has now passed past the desk and is entering his private office. He is talking with Mina as he does so.

ARIKAN: Tell them that good things come to those who wait, Mina. Did he send the tissue samples like I requested? You know I absolutely need it to work my magic.

MINA: Yes, Doctor. They are on your desk.

ARIKAN: Great! Then this case is as good as solved...

Panel 4

Description: Just text on a red background.

CAPTION: Becasue he is a cibopath, Arikan can taste a victim’s drop of blood, and get a flash of the their last moments. He won’t admit it to anyone else, but he rather likes the taste of fresh blood. Both of these facts are probably a genetic inheritance from his great-great-great-great grandfather: Vladimir The Third, Prince of Wallachia, also known as Vlad The Impaler, and also known as...

Panel 5

Description: Mina sits by the desk with a rather sarcastic face. Arikan has closed the door to his personal office. It has a glass window (we can see his silhouette behind it) where there is something inscribed. It reads “Dr. A. Culah”.

ARIKAN (from inside): But I won't tell him so until next week. Hahaha!

MINA (whisper): Pompous jerk. One day I’ll get another job and that will be the last you see of me.

The End?

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Dracula - Demise - Sime McDonald

Panel One
We're looking at blood pooled on a polished floor.

(off panel)
The air reeks of blood and death.

Panel Two
The blood belongs to Grant Powell's (new character, no reference) wife. He is clasping her limp body in his arms, his cheeks wet with tears. Standing over them is Dracula. He's not standing with purposeful menace; he just possesses a natural aura of it. His arms are folded behind his back; his mouth is a hard line. Rather stoic.

I love it.

Panel Three
Dracula's expressionless face creases slightly.

Not by choice.

Panel Four
He bends his knees, his face now level with Powell's.

Can you comprehend that?
To live for something so vile?

I'm going to kill you.

Panel Five
Dracula smiles.

I know.

The Oracle foretold my demise, Grant Powell. 

Panel Six
Dracula is standing, holding out his hand for Powell to take.

I've come to you to ensure it happens.


Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Dracula – Infinity People – Ryan K Lindsay

1. The first three panels form the top half of the page, they should probably have a different ink and colour vibe as they are a flashback. Dracula is strapped into a chair with silver chains and plaits of werewolf hair in a dirty old cabin. Off panel stands a nameless, for now, doctor. He'd be revealed later in the story, not on this page.
Doctor (op): Elders in my village called you the ‘infinity people’.

2. A hand grabs an instrument off a tray that still has a few blood spatters on it.
Doctor (op): So, I shall see just how far you stretch.

3. Shadow on the wall is created by a lightning strike. The shadow shows us a doctor plunging some strange and unknown instrument into Dracula’s chest.
Doctor: And I will take what I need to even the battleground.

4. We cut to the present - Dracula stands atop the Helicarrier. S.H.I.E.L.D. agents are assembled around him, no one you know.
Dracula: You really think you can stand in my way?
Dracula: To stand here I have, amongst over three hundred specific murders for this case, strangled an old lady with her dog’s lead. While the dog was attached. Drowned twin boys in pools of crude oil. Torn a screaming girl in half. Down the middle. And from the smell of one of you, I killed your mother two nights ago.

5. Dracula smiles.
Dracula: Tell your boss I want him out here right now. Guess you could say I’m calling him out.
Dracula: Him and anyone else living on time borrowed from me.

For those should probably check this link.

Dracula - Lamentation and Reform - Max Barnard

We open on a classic, Gene Colan-esque Dracula (though not neccesarily the Marvel one) out on the balcony of his transylvanian castle, illuminated by lightning and the moon against his form. He is looking sternly out at the horizon, leaning forward as if he wants to see that little bit further.

Dracula: I am but an avatar of evil and darkness, in a landscape of gloom and misery.

A close-up on Dracula's eyes, squinting tightly.

Dracula: This, like the ages of the earth, must change.

A silhouetted arm pulling on a glove, against a blood red background.

A silhouetted leg pulling on a boot, against a blood red background.

Dracula's silhouetted head, pulling on an indistinct mask (to maintain the mystery of his new identity).

Dracula, still silhouetted (though more distinctly as the Dell Dracula, for whom I can provide picture reference as needed) is walking out the front of his castle, as a large strike of lightning lights up the entire area.


Dracula: And so I shall become something else. Something NEW, entirely different to what is expected! To what would make sense! I will become...

And we see Dracula in his full splendour as the Dell Dracula of years long past, arms on his hips and standing tall, in typical superhero fashion. Where this costume crucially differs from the Dell version, however, is that it is ill-fitting and slightly loose, combining with Dracula's manic expression to give the impression of a truly deluded fool. That's doable right? If not just beat me with a stick.


Monday, February 14, 2011

Dracula - Not a Team Up - Ben Rosenthal

So I totally continued the script I have had going for the past two weeks - only this isnt it. To see it, head over to Post Humour Comedy and read it there. You're stuck with this one. Will be interesting to see which you prefer. Yes you!

1. Night. We are looking up at Deadpool, who has a gun barrel pointed at the panel. The gun is made of wood. Deadpool looks mighty angry.

Normally I would say something witty, like “hang in there” but you’ve just #$@*d me off too much for such niceties.

2. We are now looking down. It is clear that we are on top of a very tall building in Manhattan. Clinging to the side of the building in Dracula, in his classic Christopher Lee-esque costume. He is straining to hold himself up. His chin is resting on the roof, with his body dangling over the side. He will not be able to hold on for much longer.


Remember if I die, so does your father.

3. Same as Panel 1, however Deadpool’s anger has turned to shock and surprise

You’re my father?

4. Same as Panel 2, with Dracula looking confused at Wade’s ridiculous assumption.


5. Same framing as Panel 3 (looking up at Deadpool from below), however Deadpool has lowered his wooden gun.

Then who was my mother?

6. Same as Panel 4, with Dracula sweating (can vampires sweat?) as he frantically tries to save his unlife.

Urm...Estelle Getty?

7. A wide panel showing the entirety of the roof top, New York in the background. Wade is facing us, his wooded gun scratching the side of his head. In the background, Dracula’s word balloon comes from the side of the building as he has finally slipped, and is plunging to his doom.

My parents were Estelle Getty and Dracula! Who the hell approved this retcon?

DRACULA (words falling from the side as he falls)

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Dracula - Safe As Houses - Rol Hirst

Panel One.

A beautiful young woman (Rebecca) in a white nightgown is running through a dark forest in terror, pursued by some unseen horror. It’s night, though bright moonlight flickers through the trees. There’s a low mist on the ground. Her gown has snagged on branches and foliage and is torn and dirtied.

Panel Two.

Breathless, she arrives at a spooky old house, all strange angles and dark windows. Without hesitation she runs up the path towards the front door.

Panel Three.

She bursts through the front door and into the house.

Panel Four.

She slams the door behind her, gasping for air, the relief showing on her face. At last she is safe.

Rebecca: Ha! I… I did it. Escaped. Got… home.

Panel Five.

Rebecca peers out through the peephole in the front door. Behind her, a wisp of red mist curls in the hallway.

Rebecca: I’m safe now. You can’t... can't enter without… I know the rules.

Rebecca: You have to be invited… and I’ll never… I’ll never invite you into my home!

Panel Six.

Rebecca turns in horror as the red mist behind her takes form. It is Dracula. Classic Gene Colan look.

Dracula: Foolish child.

Dracula: Over five hundred years has Dracula walked this earth. Many are the homes which have welcomed him already.

Panel Seven.

Close on Dracula, smiling, baring his teeth. Christopher. Lee.

Dracula: You are not the first to claim ownership over this particular domicile. You will certainly not be the last.

Why Dracula?

He is the lord of the undead.

The king of the vampires.

The count with the curse. (I made that one up to satisfy the rule of three. Sue me.)

He needs no introduction.

The only question is... which Drac will you choose?

Will it be the classic Wolfman / Colan Tomb Of Dracula character...

The sartorially-challenged Drac recently murdered and resurrected in Victor Gischler's X-Men...

The DC Dracula...

Vampirella's Great Uncle Vlad...

The less-than-inspiring Buffy Dracula...

Dell's short-lived Count Superhero...

The pain in Ash's neck...

IDW's "Osama Bin Laden" of vampires...

Or something else entirely?

The choice is yours... as long as there's no Twilight.


Have fun... and if you can't have fun, drink blood. Lots of blood.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Batgirl - Can o' Whoop Ass - Danial Carroll

PAGE ONE (seven panels)

PANEL 1. Batgirl (Stephanie Brown) and Robin (Damian Wayne) are both perched upon an interior warehouse girder. They are looking down.

I'm going down. Are you coming?

Are you kidding? That's Killer Croc!

I know. And he's about to get his *** kicked.

PANEL 2. Batgirl is leaping at us from the girder, throwing a volley of batarangs in the process. Robin is still on the girder behind her, reaching out as if to stop her.

ROBIN (yelling):
Steph! No!

PANEL 3. Close on Killer Croc, facing away from us. He has three batarangs lodged in his back and has turned his head in pain.


PANEL 4. Batgirl has landed a flying kick upon Croc's face.


PANEL 5. Batgirl has anchored a grappling hook in Croc's mouth which she has used to swing over him and land a kick to his crotch from behind. Croc is in severe pain on both counts.


PANEL 6. Croc is laying hog-tied on the ground. Batgirl is standing with one leg up on him, smiling back up to Robin with a thumbs-up.

PANEL 7. Identical panel to panel one, except Robin is rolling his eyes.

Really? That's how you think it would play out?

Sure. Why not?

->sigh<- Let's just wait for Batman to arrive.

Friday, February 11, 2011

Batgirl - All In The Family - Matt Duarte

Batgirl in "All In The Family" by Matt Duarte

Four panels, the first one is wide across the page, the next two sit on their own row, and the fourth one is a big one that takes up about half the page.

Panel 1

Description: Stephanie Brown is being kicked in the face by someone wearing very heavy boots. However, this is not the Stephanie Brown we know, but an older version. There are liness under her eyes, her hair is shorter and more manageable, and her costume is slightly different. While undeniably still a “Bat” costume, the shades of purple are gone, replaced with pure black.

CHARACTER (out of panel): Fight back, damn it!


Panel 2

Description: Stephanie is against a wall now, in a dark room with no windows. This time she is receiving a punch in the stomach, of which we only see a hand wearing a dark glove. Stephanie is not attempting to block or evade the hits at all. Even though she is in pain, there is a faint smile on her face.

STEPHANIE: I was thinking we... HUFFF... we could hug it out.

CHARACTER (out of panel): You think this is a joke?! You think I went through all this trouble of finding you...

Panel 3

Description: Stephanie is sitting on the floor, a bit bloodied and bruised. Her opponent stands over her, still in shadows.

STEPHANIE: How DID you find me anyway? Even *I* didn’t know who you were.

CHARACTER: You have to thank my grandfather for that.

Panel 4

Description: Reveal of who the character is, seen from behind Stephanie. This is a new character, a teenager called Natalie. She has long blond hair and blue eyes, which clashes in comparison with her clothing. She is wearing a leather jacket, gloves, and combat boots, baggy ripped jeans and a white Crass t-shirt.

NATALIE: He found me on my orphanage and left me a big stinking clue of your true identity, mother.

STEPHANIE (CAPTION): Damnit, dad, why do you have to ruin everything?

NEXT: Family reunion!

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Batgirl - Girls Interrupted - Sime McDonald

... continued from last week ...
... sometime later ...

Nightfall, in the luscious grounds of Richie Corday's manor. Demolitia is firing her handgun at Batgirl, who is narrowly dodging the speeding projectiles, simultaneously hurling a Batarang in Demolitia's direction.

- - - bitch!


Whoooa - - - !

Cut to Richie Corday's bedroom. He's sitting up in bed, eyes wide, panicked at the sound of gunfire.

 - - - Nyyyarrrrgh!


Cut back to outside. The Batarang has clattered into Demolitia's gun; she's dropped it and is reeling away from Batgirl, who has landed out of her dive gracefully, with superheroic poise.

Y'know, I didn't think it was possible,
but in terms of hostility you've surpassed
Robin a thousandfold.

I'm just here to chat.
And to stop you killing Richie Corday too, sure...
But mostly to chat.

Demolitia's eyes are filled with rage as she prods a finger into her chest, at the Bat-symbol that adorns it.

Just because I work for him doesn't
mean I'm a slave to his symbol.

Corday deserves to - - -


Pull back. A phalanx of bodyguards have their weapons trained on Demolitia and Batgirl.

Do not move!

Batgirl tilts her head towards Demolitia.

Team up?

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Batgirl - Spoil Sport - Rol Hirst

Panel One.

A main street in Gotham City. Night time. Police arrive at the scene of a bank robbery to find the robbers have escaped… despite having being captured earlier by Batgirl. All that remains are the ropes which Batgirl used to tie the robbers to a lamp post. In the foreground of the panel, Detective Harvey Bullock examines the scene while talking on his cell phone. The ropes he holds have been cut.

Bullock: Batgirl caught the perps, left ‘em all tied up with a nice bow… but by the time we arrived, they were gone.

Bullock: Somebody broke them loose.

Panel Two.

At the headquarters of Batman Inc, Tim Drake stands talking to Bruce Wayne. Tim is in costume, Bruce in a suit. On the desk between them is a collection of photographs documenting various calendar-related crimes that have occurred recently in Gotham.

Red Robin: Stephanie has been tracking Calendar Man for weeks. Collecting the evidence we needed to put him away for good. Then at the last minute... someone tipped him off.

Red Robin: He quit town this morning, Bruce. We lost him.

Panel Three.

Batgirl is swinging over the rooftops, guided on her latest mission by instructions from Oracle.

Oracle (jagged balloon): OK, you’re closing in on Kite Man’s location now, but be careful, Batgirl, I’m picking up another—

Oracle (jagged balloon): -sssskkkrrrrrrkkkkkkrrr…

Batgirl: Oracle?

Panel Four.

Batgirl lands on a rooftop and taps the side of her cowl in frustration. A shadowy figure steps up behind her, holding a portable jamming device…

Batgirl: Say again, Oracle? Com-link’s gone down again.

Batgirl: Damn it! What's going on? Lately, it’s like everything I do...

Panel Five.

The figure steps into view. He’s wearing a purple costume and hood… like a male version of Stephanie’s former Spoiler costume. Batgirl reacts with surprise… and shock as she recognises the man’s voice.

Spoiler: Someone comes along and SPOILS it?

Batgirl: Who’re…!? D-dad? What are you doing?

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Batgirl - Weakness – Ryan K Lindsay

1. Some frat boy douche is standing in front of us. He’s got a ubiquitous red cup in hand, two sweatbands on one wrist and another on the other, pants are slung low despite the evidence of a belt, a tribal tattoo pokes out of the sleeve of his too-tight shirt, his face is smug, his hair pokes out like some sort of pop art experiment, and the man’s skin is decidedly orange. I’m hoping you hate him already. This guy’s name is Bra, he’s talking right to us, the reader, as we look through a seated POV.
Bra: You really didn’t want to talk to me, you made that quite clear.

2. Bra is gesturing up in disbelief. He’s managing to flex while doing so, of course.
Bra: I would even call you a little rude. I just wanted to say hi.

3. Bra is leaning in towards our face.
Bra: Sure, I was hoping the chat would go further but ‘hi’ was where I was starting and you were a real b!%$#

4. Bras is sitting right next to us, so he’s in the right of the panel.
Bra: But now I’ve got you all to myself and I see you aren’t going anywhere. It’s so much nicer to spend some time alone with you, behind a locked door, where we can take our time.
Bra: Oooh.-

5. This final panel should take up the majority of the bottom half of the page. Stephanie Brown is slumped on the couch, her eyes are almost open but she is decidedly knocked out. Bra is next to her, leaching on her, and his hand has been slowly unbuttoning her shirt. A bit of a Batgirl costume is now visible underneath.
Bra: Leather. How’d you know I loves me a superfreak, girl?

Monday, February 7, 2011

Batgirl - Page 2 - Ben Rosenthal

You may want to re-read my Batman Inc script from last week before continuing.

1. A shot of a window breaking, as Stephanie Brown in Batgirl gear comes crashing through it.

2. Batgirl gets up from the ground, cut from the glass.


3. Dick/Batman looks at Batgirl, his face revealing nothing. Other members of Batman Inc in the background looked surprised

4. Stephanie trying to stand next to Bruce, crouched over. She is in pain from the cuts. However, they are only minor scratches. Bruce continues to stare down the members of Batman Inc.

You’re making a mistake, Dick. Bruce isn’t responsible.

I am.

5. Dick/Batman addresses Batgirl.

I know.

But he harboured you, instead of bringing you to justice.

6. The members of Batman Inc are lunging at Bruce and Batgirl. Both Bruce and Batgirl have their fists up, ready to fight.

And that is something WE cannot stand for.

Batgirl - Doing It Wrong The Right Way - Max Barnard

The Premise: Stephanie Brown is still very much an amateur heroine. Sure, she's been Batgirl for a while now, and Spoiler for even longer, but she's prone to being overcome by her own flaws at times. Thankfully things always work out in the end, and the support of both Proxy (Wendy Harris) and THE GREY GHOST (Johnny C) (not that she really WANTS Johnny C to help out) certainly goes a way to help. Like here, for example.


Page 1

Dusk. Batgirl is chasing Riot (currently split into about 4 or 5 versions of himself) across a Gotham City rooftop, bo staff in one hand and her grappling gun in the other. She is slightly out of breath and looking VERY tired.

Batgirl: Hey! Give ->pant<- up already! I ->huff<- I've got things to do!

Riot: Wa-ha! That's a RIOT! You think I'm that stupid?!

Proxy(O/P via comms.): Did he just try to make a pun?

We see Proxy at her computers, viewing the scene on her monitors, with the many Riots now leaping off of the rooftop onto another off-screen roof on one, and on another monitor we can see Batgirl clutching her stomach as she continues to run after him.

Batgirl(O/P via comms.): Didn't ->huff<- listen. Need... air, not ->gasp<- jokes!

Proxy: Yeah, yeah. Enough talking, breathless wonder, he's getting away.

Back at the scene, Batgirl is standing at the edge of the roof, still panting, aiming her grappling hook high and firing at some presumed swingable object.

Batgirl: Okay, okay, I'm going!

Batgirl is swinging across to the other building.

Batgirl is mid-swing, several feet lower than before and veering wildly to the side, with a shocked expression on her face.

Batgirl: Oh--

We focus on Riot, all of him, still running, laughing to himself. In the background we can just about see Batgirl's arm, her grappling rope, and a broken metal pole falling out of sight.

Batgirl: --CRAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaa-----

Riot: Kehahahahahahaha!

The main Riot is suddenly kicked in the face by Johnny C, dressed as the Grey Ghost, who has leapt into the panel from the side. The other Riots have disappeared into thin air from this strike, as they tend to do. In the background Batgirl is pulling herself up by the same arm we could just about see in the previous panel.

Johnny C: Surprise, villain!

SFX: Thwakk

Batgirl(small): Oh, God, why him?

Johnny C is continuing to rapidly kick the unconscious Riot on the ground, as Batgirl runs towards him.

Proxy(O/P via comms): I called him, you're totally too tired to keep going for the evening.

Batgirl: But he's a PSYCHO! I've gotta stop him!

Johnny C: Take that! And That! You best remember this, you lowly scum, for I, Jo-... THE GREY GHOST! AM! BATGIRL'S! GUARDIAN!

SFX: Kickakickakickakicka!

[From here the story continues to derail and get more complicated, with Batgirl and Proxy having to deal with Johnny C and his continued attempts to 'help' Batgirl as she tries to take Riot to the police station and get home to sleep (without Johnny figuring out who she is while she's at it)]