Panel One.
A main street in Gotham City. Night time. Police arrive at the scene of a bank robbery to find the robbers have escaped… despite having being captured earlier by Batgirl. All that remains are the ropes which Batgirl used to tie the robbers to a lamp post. In the foreground of the panel, Detective Harvey Bullock examines the scene while talking on his cell phone. The ropes he holds have been cut.
Bullock: Batgirl caught the perps, left ‘em all tied up with a nice bow… but by the time we arrived, they were gone.
Bullock: Somebody broke them loose.
Panel Two.
At the headquarters of Batman Inc, Tim Drake stands talking to Bruce Wayne. Tim is in costume, Bruce in a suit. On the desk between them is a collection of photographs documenting various calendar-related crimes that have occurred recently in Gotham.
Red Robin: Stephanie has been tracking Calendar Man for weeks. Collecting the evidence we needed to put him away for good. Then at the last minute... someone tipped him off.
Red Robin: He quit town this morning, Bruce. We lost him.
Panel Three.
Batgirl is swinging over the rooftops, guided on her latest mission by instructions from Oracle.
Oracle (jagged balloon): OK, you’re closing in on Kite Man’s location now, but be careful, Batgirl, I’m picking up another—
Oracle (jagged balloon): -sssskkkrrrrrrkkkkkkrrr…
Batgirl: Oracle?
Panel Four.
Batgirl lands on a rooftop and taps the side of her cowl in frustration. A shadowy figure steps up behind her, holding a portable jamming device…
Batgirl: Say again, Oracle? Com-link’s gone down again.
Batgirl: Damn it! What's going on? Lately, it’s like everything I do...
Panel Five.
The figure steps into view. He’s wearing a purple costume and hood… like a male version of Stephanie’s former Spoiler costume. Batgirl reacts with surprise… and shock as she recognises the man’s voice.
Spoiler: Someone comes along and SPOILS it?
Batgirl: Who’re…!? D-dad? What are you doing?
While if the whole thoughtballoons thing wasn't limited to a single page a week, I'd prefer if this were played out over more than one page, I have to say I love the twist at the end. Did not see that one coming.
ReplyDeleteIf it wasn't for Batgirl's asian moment (panel 4), this script would have been perfect :P
ReplyDeleteMan Rol, this is GREAT! Fantastically great! Loved it!
ReplyDeletePerhaps unsurprisingly, I think you have a pretty solid idea here. :P
ReplyDeleteIn all seriousness, I really like your spin on Arthur Brown's return. Some well put together panels that get the idea across rather succinctly, although I can't help echoing MK's thoughts in feeling that this would play out even better over a longer page count.
See also: love the pun. Quality stuff.
Thanks, guys. I'd often love to do more than one page, but look at thoughtballoons as a good lesson in editing a story down to its essentials. If I can do that without cramming the page (as in previous weeks) I think I've succeeded.
ReplyDeleteDanial - "Asian moment"?
Also, I just realised why comic characters often exclaim "Who--!?" but rarely "Who're--!?"
ReplyDeleteLooks too much like a Shi'ar prostitute.
@Rol: "What going on?" ;)
ReplyDeleteAh. I see. Edited. Thank you. ;-)
ReplyDeleteNice stuff Rol. Hilariously, despite me choosing the character, I barely knew of her family history and spoiler stuff from her pre-batgirl days (outside of what i've picked up here and there or in teen titans), so it's nice to see that people can pick up on the areas I know bum-all about with such skill.
ReplyDeleteAnd your script was tighter than mine, which makes me eternally jealous.
Thanks, Max. The Spoiler stuff I knew from back when I WAS regularly reading the Batbooks. It's the new stuff I knew nothing about. ;-)
ReplyDelete