Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Batgirl - Weakness – Ryan K Lindsay

1. Some frat boy douche is standing in front of us. He’s got a ubiquitous red cup in hand, two sweatbands on one wrist and another on the other, pants are slung low despite the evidence of a belt, a tribal tattoo pokes out of the sleeve of his too-tight shirt, his face is smug, his hair pokes out like some sort of pop art experiment, and the man’s skin is decidedly orange. I’m hoping you hate him already. This guy’s name is Bra, he’s talking right to us, the reader, as we look through a seated POV.
Bra: You really didn’t want to talk to me, you made that quite clear.


2. Bra is gesturing up in disbelief. He’s managing to flex while doing so, of course.
Bra: I would even call you a little rude. I just wanted to say hi.


3. Bra is leaning in towards our face.
Bra: Sure, I was hoping the chat would go further but ‘hi’ was where I was starting and you were a real b!%$#


4. Bras is sitting right next to us, so he’s in the right of the panel.
Bra: But now I’ve got you all to myself and I see you aren’t going anywhere. It’s so much nicer to spend some time alone with you, behind a locked door, where we can take our time.
Bra: Oooh.-


5. This final panel should take up the majority of the bottom half of the page. Stephanie Brown is slumped on the couch, her eyes are almost open but she is decidedly knocked out. Bra is next to her, leaching on her, and his hand has been slowly unbuttoning her shirt. A bit of a Batgirl costume is now visible underneath.
Bra: Leather. How’d you know I loves me a superfreak, girl?

9 comments:

  1. You really don't like this character, do you? :P

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  2. That's just NASTY.

    There's a part of me wants to say there's no place for a story like this in superhero comics... but given some of the areas DC have taken their characters into recently, I guess I'd be swimming against the tide.

    That said, Ryan, I do appreciate NASTY. Though I'd rather have read the page where this scumbag gets his comeuppance.

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  3. All I can say is...I'm sorry. I prefaced my sorrow last week on Twitter, Ben will vouch for that one.

    I'm also kind of glad this one is scoring low. YOu can't really read this and say you love it.

    I did not get a center on this character and that final moment jumped into my head and would not get out. I doubt I'd pitch this one to DC, and maybe I shouldn't have even written/posted it...though you could see it as a shot at the stuff DC puts out now all cat rape and severed hands.

    There was something about writing Bra and I can only promise that Bra doesn't get much further than this. The kick would be, Brown wakes up just before he gets to the Bat symbol and then she busts him up, a little too hard, and then has to cover up what happens.

    The last thing I want is to actually make her yet another female victim in comics.

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  4. Wow. I knew this was coming, but still, wow. I feel dirty.

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  5. "The last thing I want is to actually make her yet another female victim in comics. "

    Good to hear! But yeah, this was pretty brutal.

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  6. It hurts my heart that you'd do this to an innocent young womanm ryan. You vile, horrible miscreant. And it just HAD to be a good script despite horrifying me now, didn't it. YOU MAGNIFICENT BASTARD!

    Seriously, great script, so unsettling.

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  7. Not necessarily what I'd want to see happen to Stephanie--Lord knows she's had some BAD experiences with men in her life--and I would hope the next page is Steph waking up and giving him a swift and brutal ass-whuppin'.

    Still, it was a well-written page--very creepy.

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  8. It's certainly a well thought out and well put together piece, but it is quite a bit grittier than I like my Batgirl. While not necessarily for me, I am impressed that you didn't really pull any punches here, the script really resonates.

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