CAPTION (1)
I have seen the face of my God.
CAPTION (2)
And found the face staring back was my own.
I have seen the face of my God.
CAPTION (2)
And found the face staring back was my own.
2. Night. It’s raining heavily. Moon Knight is looking down from a building, where a group of three men are mugging another man.
CAPTION
It changed me. Gave me purpose; a mission.
It changed me. Gave me purpose; a mission.
3. From the mugger’s point of view, Moon Knight swings down on a chain, kicking one of the three in the face as he does so.
CAPTION
I have seen the face of my God.
I have seen the face of my God.
4. A front on shot of Moon Knight standing in the alley, his chain falling down behind him. The two remaining muggers stand in front of him, so that we can see over their shoulders.
5. Moon Knight punches a second man in the face, blood spraying from the man’s check after the impact of Moon Knight’s spiked knuckle dusters. The third man has a chain wrapped around his neck. This man’s hands are up gripping at the chain, trying to loosen its grip so that he will not pass out.
6. Moon Knight is offering his hand to the man whom he has saved from being mugged. The mugger with the chain in his neck is still struggling to release it in the background.
7. The man who has been saved from the mugging is staring at Moon Knight’s face, as he accepts the vigilante’s hand in getting up.
CAPTION
It’s time for you to see yours.
It’s time for you to see yours.
Are you implying that the victim should look upon Moon Knight as their god for rescuing them? If so, that's a really cool concept, and I could actually see Marc going down that delusional path.
ReplyDeleteThere are a few small things that give away that you don't know the character, but I'll let them pass, as I know you notice the same when I'm writing "spider characters" :)
Yup, that was my intent. I'm glad it came through.
ReplyDeleteWhat did I miss? I would really like to know.
Man, read this page again and think the captions are the thoughts of the person being mugged. Becomes kind of sinister then, doesn't it?
ReplyDeleteThis page is pretty tight, to be honest. It feels like more of an introduction to the character rather than a story but otherwise it is good. If panels 4-7 were a big swirling mess of violence, perhaps even Sienkiewicz inspired, or executred, it could totally work.
Oh, and MK doesn't usually use a chain like that, does he?
You know, originally I wrote that Moon Knight was holding up the third mugger on the 'meet your God' line to give it a sinister edge. But I thought it was a bit too much for a 'hero' to do.
ReplyDeleteNo idea about the chain. I saw a Finch drawing with a chain, so I used it. Hence why I'm eager for Danial to point out to me what is wrong with it, continuity wise.
Oh, and I really need to work on those big, epic action type panels. I agree that 4-7 would look better as a swirling mass of violence.
Thanks!
Ryan's right. Besides the picture I used on the Why page, MK has never used a chain. I think Finch just thought it would look cool. He uses his cape to glide down from heights and the rest of his weaponry are basically ninja items: throwing stars, nunchucks, staff, grappling hook etc.
ReplyDeleteOoh - god complex Moon Knight. I like that idea. It's just crazy enough to work. A nice action page, Ben, chain usage aside.
ReplyDelete