PAGE ONE (eight panels)
PANEL 1. Maria Hill is sitting in front of a large monitor, upon which is the head of a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent.
Excuse me, Director Hill. We've discovered something downtown that we think you should see.
PANEL 2. Maria is now standing inside a rundown warehouse, surrounded by several agents.
What on Earth?
PANEL 3. From Maria's POV, we see the team of Nextwave, seated, all strapped into what appear to be VR headsets.
Avengers. ☠☠☠☠ Avengers!
☠☠☠☠ fleshy ones.
☠☠☠☠ ☠☠☠☠ ☠☠☠☠.
PANEL 4. The agent from Panel 1 is gesturing to a computer terminal next to her.
It appears to be a modified battlefield simulator, running a custom O.S..
To what ends?
We're still looking into that.
PANEL 5. Maria is leaning down to the computer terminal. Over her shoulder we can read the screen:
(Horrendous Acronym To Entertain)
Random Enemy Generator Sub-routine Active
Broccoli Men... DELETED
Giant Robot Cop... DELETED
Killer Koalas... IN PROGRESS
Is this supposed to be funny?
PANEL 6. Wide view of the scene. Maria looks angry.
We're on the verge of a civil war. I don't have time for this.
Pull the plug!
Uhh, we're not sure that would be safe, Director.
So what do you suggest?
PANEL 7. Close up of the agent and Maria.
Our analysts have determined that the program is already halfway through its runcycle. My suggestion would be to just let it run its course.
How long will that take?
Another six months.
PANEL 8. Maria is walking away, flippantly waving her hand.
Fine, do that then. If no one's reported these heroes missing for six months, then I doubt anyone will miss them for another six.
Love the concept, Danial, even though it does reek of "it was all a dream", you cunningly found a way to make that work. The page seems pretty crowded and other, more enlightened, editing types than I will probably tell you you could have lost panel 1 (and maybe 2) without losing anything from the story.ReplyDelete
Yeah, this one was pretty much phoned in, so there's probably heaps I could have polished up, but my heart just wasn't in it :PReplyDelete
You wound me, sir :PReplyDelete
It does seem to go one for a while. I think you could probably afford to lose Panel 1, and begin with Maria simpy yelling "What on Earth?", then cut to the whole scene. This would in turn mean you could cut Panel 6, and incorporate the dialouge elsewhere.
I really liked this idea.ReplyDelete