Thursday, March 3, 2011

Venom – The Notorious Casebook of the Mexican Flapjack – Ryan K Lindsay


1. Eric O’Grady sits at a bar, beer in hand. He’s wearing a black suit similar to the stealth suit Tony Moore has created for the new Venom relaunch, except his head is not obscured and a black collar of Iron Fist proportions is sticking up. The pattern on the front of the suit looks like the new Spider theme except in the middle is no spider, it’s a very small ant. There are a few different barflies sitting around him enraptured.
Caption: Okay, I took the suit. My S.H.I.E.L.D. clearance went so high I had to do something. It was either that or crack the lock on Stark’s ‘Liquor and Ladies Cabinet’ and I'm certainly not that brave.
Barfly 1: You gotta be kidding us?

2. Eric takes a big drink and holds a hand up in exclamation. There are now two ants in the middle of his chest on the costume.
Eric: I tell no lies. This suit not only helps my alcohol absorption but it is alive.
Caption: You ever see the start of The Twilight Zone movie? I wanted that moment, that’s all.

3. Eric places his beer down and we see a few more empties next to him, time has passed. The ant has become a wasp.
Eric: This…thing…starts off with a dozen other candidates in the womb. They spend a few months busting each others' heads against the alien uterine wall for the right to be born. Gentlemen, this is a razzle dazzle fighting machine!

4. Eric is slumped on the bar, he’s drunk. Beer mugs litter the bar – because a barkeep never tidies around the drunks… - and he’s using all his effort to lift his head up to say one last thing to someone off panel.
Eric: Once you go black you never go back, baybee…
Caption: I may have taken it one or two snifters over the line, I’ll admit that, fine.

5. A woman’s hand caresses Eric’s passed out head.
Woman: Oh, I won’t be coming back, “baybee”, and neither will you.

6. A small and completely black panel. Eric’s voice doesn’t point to anywhere.
Eric: Guh…
Eric:
Eric: …Heyyo

7. Eric is rubbing his head and looking very worried. In the mirror behind the bar and everywhere else we can see there is plenty of blood and mayhem behind him.
Eric: Aw, crud…
Caption: But I swear, on the possibility that I will ever again see a woman’s chest, I had nothing to do with what happened after that.

8 comments:

  1. Truly, O’Grady is and shall forever more be a Man Irredeemable.

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  2. Man, we've all been there! :P

    Seriously though, there were a few bits of this that threw me. The first being, "uterine wall it out". Is there a word missing there? Then there's, "ever again see a woman’s chest again". Pretty sure one of those can go :)

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  3. Why has no one chosen Eric O'Grady as a character of the week yet? Why?

    Matt, I would buy this book in a shot.

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  4. Sorry, I really should pay more attention to who's writing the scripts I'm reading. I thought it was Matt's day today. I got confused.

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  5. Ha, don't worry Rol, this is the page to work your errors out on.

    I'm blaming Parker for my initial last minute, after work, edits that led to my after the post edits as well. Lame.


    But glad people are liking the script, and as for the choice we haven't had yet, Rol, it's well high up my list. But I'm not choosing a Marvel character next, I need a break, and I have a good one lined up...

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  6. Eric is such a great character - so flawed, yet you can associate with him. Good script Ryan.

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  7. Wow, this is the second week in a row where I have been attributed to a script I didn't write. Soon enough, I won't even have to write anything, you guys will give me the credit anyway, haha.

    ReplyDelete

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