Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Emma Frost - Diamonds Before Swine - Maxy Barnard

The Premise: So, I've learnt a lesson about what works on a page, and taken a few extra hungover hours to perfect this, at least as best I can. The concept is simple: to distill the characters down to their most base level, to make them immediately recognisable no matter where you are in your story. In fact I'm pretty sure the other tenures already manage this and I'm just really bloody slow.

So here's a completely random page picked out of the blue of a non-existant story where Emma Frost and Kitty Pryde are having to deal with the fact that all the X-*MEN* have been turned into pigs by a mysterious assailant (kept schtum because AHAHA you don't need to know in this page!). Enjoy, comment, hate, et cetera.

Oh, an aside, because visuals would have been laid out earlier in the story, this is current continuity, so space-suit Kitty is involved, because I love it. And all the X-Pigs have their costumes on and pig-sized, natch.


Kitty Pryde is holding up Pig-Colossus, her head turned away in disgust, face all scrunched up.

Kitty: Well, THIS can only make our relationship more tragic and non-physical. Ew.

A full-body panel of Emma entering the room with he chest puffed out and looking down her nose, having taken her sweet-ass time and proud of it. On the floor just next to her Pig-Cyclops is rolling on his back as pigs are wont to do.

Emma: Oh the horror of it all, Pryde, when you have to find more reasons to angst over your thoroughly dull love li-

Emma's legs are at the edge of the frame, mid-transformation into diamond, as Pig-Cyclops rubs himself against them. Also in the background of the shot are Pig-Wolverine and Pig-Dr. Nemesis, trying to bite each other to death.

Emma: -oh, Scott...

Emma (now fully into her diamond form) kicks Pig-Cyclops across the room (and towards the reader), just missing Kitty's head by mere centimetres. Pig-Cyclops is squealing in terror and firing eye-beams every which way.

Emma: You disgust me now as much as ever.


Kitty is yelling angrily and flailing her arms towards Emma, who just raises her face higher than ever, so as to better look down her nose at Kitty (think to the point of parody with this look, just go crazy as you'd like).

Kitty: Emma, what are you doing?! That's still Scott in there! AND you almost broke my suit, you insufferable cow!

Emma: *sigh*... Pryde... Kitty...

Low angle close-up on Emma's snooty smirking face, so as to accentuate just how much she can look down her nose.

Emma: I know. And I can read minds. So I can tell you with assurance that these men are as they have always been...

We look over the shoulders of both Kitty and Emma as they look down at the X-Pigs. Pig-Cyclops is unconscious, all swirling stars and spiral eyes, Pig-Dr. Nemesis is standing victorious over Pig-Wolverine's thoroughly beaten body and Pig-Colossus is staring up at Kitty with heart-shaped eyes.

Emma: Pigs.


  1. Pig-Dr Nemesis could never beat Pig-Wolverine!!!!

    It's like yuo don't even now how to write Pig-Wolverine!!!!!1!!!


  2. You just know that the "SQUEEEEEEEEEEEE" is not Pig-Clops, but Max marking out over his awesome page.

    I join you in your geek/pig cheer.

  3. Are we talking big pigs or little pigs here?

  4. @MK - I did consider how huge pigs actually are as an issue here. I think in the end I went with them being what I'll call "groening-esque" in size, if only because I don't want to say "like that pig in the simpsons movie sorta size

  5. This page works well, though I just don't get Emma kicking Scott that hard. I haven't read heaps of the latest X-Men but she doesn't really loathe him all this much, does she?

    Otherwise, this page works on many levels. You write a mean Kitty, too.

  6. Bwahahahahahahaha.

    Oh, and I pictured them as piglets, so the kicking was fine.

    Love the interaction with Kitty.

  7. @Rol - You think it's alright to kick piglets?

    What's wrong with you Brits?

  8. @ryan - It's our natural hatred of anything less attractive than we are.
    as for Emma kicking scott, she wouldn't have if he weren't a pig i'm sure, but she seems to me the sort of person in a couple who wouldn't want to miss a chance to vent some anger at her partner.

    @rol - Man I love writing Kitty Pryde and Emma. They're probabyl the best duo in comics

  9. Max - great explanation. That actually makes sense and I think you're right. Emma Frost would totally kick PigClops.

  10. Was waiting for a Spider-Pig cameo.


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