Sunday, April 10, 2011

Green Wake – The First – Ryan K Lindsay

1. A boat floats towards the shore of Green Wake. A woman’s feet are visible protruding into the bleak sky up one end. We cannot see her head.
Caption: I’ll never see him again.

2. We see the woman walking up over rocks from the shoreline. She has a green glass bottle in her hands. The wind blows strong around her.
Caption: I want to think it’s for the best but anyone honest with themselves cannot be that selfless.

3. The woman stands in the middle of one of the streets of Green Wake. She is all alone, her hair is now flat against her head and shoulders.
Caption: This situation, this place, might mean everything to me but it’s nothing to everyone else.
Caption: So am I important anymore?

4. The woman sits on some steps, bottle standing at her feet, her head down.
Caption: It’s hard to feel when you know the world moves on without you.

5.1 – 5.6. These six panels are all small and tile across between panels 3-4 and the final panel 6. The six words of the caption line tile across, one word per panel. In the six panels tiling we see;
the girl’s eye and ear,
a foot on a cracked brick piece of pavement,
a lone tree on a hill,
the girl’s hand on the bottle,
smoke leaving a chimney,
and a sliver of moon in the daytime sky.
Caption: The abyss swirls within and without.

6. The woman is in the same position as panel 4 but we have changed view. We look straight at her with the building behind her. The building is leering down at her, windows for eyes, dual chimneys on the roof like horns slowly pluming smoke, and the door has a large green X painted around it, but not actually on the door.
Caption: Life goes on…and so does death.


  1. Captured it beautifully Ryan. The words flow like a poem, yet the setting makes you uneasy. Kudos.

  2. Nice script, Ryan. I think you've brought a personal spin on your interpretation of Green Wake in a nice, quiet moment.

    And the dialog is poetic, nice work.

    I'd cut "... and so does death" from the final caption. Something like: "And, yet, life goes on."

    Very cool, though!

  3. Hey Kurtis, thanks so much for taking the time to critique my work. That means a lot.

    I'll go you one better though, instead of excising the line I'd add one more caption that read:

    "It goes on such a long, long way."

    I want to get across the fact that this isn't life, but whatever it is feels unending.

    Thanks again, mate, means a lot.

  4. This is a really affecting and atmospheric script, Ryan. I can picture it like a film, and the narration is solid. Eerie and mysterious.


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