Green Wake in “Running With The World” by Matt Duarte
Panel 1
Description: A man running through a field at night. The moon shines over his head, the only source of light that can be seen anywhere else. He is running along a path going uphill, with rocks scattered all over it and grass on the sides.
CAPTION: I remember running one night. I'm sure I had a purpose and a direction once but it has since escaped my mind.
Panel 2
Description: The man is still running, though we can see him better now. He is a young mid 20´s man with black short hair. He is wearing normal clothes, not designed for running.
CAPTION: I remember a moment of clarity and confusion. Of surrealism and realization.
CAPTION: I saw myself running, in my store bought clothes, and I saw a long dead ancestor, running along the same mountains and breathing the same air in tattered rags.
CAPTION: I think it was thousands of years ago. Or perhaps thousands of years into the future.
Panel 3
Description: A close up of the man's head.
CAPTION: I remember there was something feral in that moment. Something natural. Whatever destination I had for running, was, for the briefest of moments, gone.
Panel 4
Description: A completely black panel.
CAPTION: Then nothing.
CAPTION: And then...
Panel 5
Description: Seen from behind the man, who has just arrived to a city seemingly in the middle of nowhere. There are not mountains to be seen anywhere close, nor a single hint of the path he was previously in. He is just walking through some tall grass on the outskirts of a town.
CAPTION: Then there was just Green Wake.
The End.
Matt, this script keeps me hooked until the captions of the final two panels. But I'm not certain how I'd change them. Maybe...
ReplyDeleteP4 - Nothing...
P5 - Nothing but Green Wake
- Either use 'Again.' or 'As usual.'
Maybe that would work. I make no guarantee.
I don't mind the lines Ryan dislikes, I think they work quite well following the tone of what's gone before.
ReplyDeleteThe only problem I have with this script is panel 4, which doesn't give the artist much to go on...
Description: A close up of the man's head.
Erm? Which part of his head? His face? In which case, how does he look, what's his expression? Or the back of his head as he runs away from us? Or...?