Sunday, April 17, 2011

J’onn J’onzz: The Martian Manhunter – Grounded: Part Forty-Seven – Sime McDonald



PANEL ONE
J’onn J’onnz and Superman are in space, looking down at Earth. Superman looks uncomfortable, his arms crossed, frowning. J’onn is smiling proudly as he gazes at his adopted home.


SUPERMAN (1)
(telepathically)
I know they look up to us for hope,
but I wonder whether they know how often we
look down on them for the same.


SUPERMAN (2)
(telepathically)
I should go.



PANEL TWO
J’onn is still smiling, but there’s a slight hardness to his expression now as he challenges his Kryptonian friend. Superman’s eyes are bulging in their sockets.


J’ONN J’ONNZ (1)
(telepathically)
Ah, yes.


J’ONN J’ONNZ (2)
(telepathically)
Your inspirational tour of America continues.


SUPERMAN
(telepathically)
It’s not ---



PANEL THREE
Superman’s expression softens.
SUPERMAN (1)
(telepathically)
I need to be down there on the ground with them, J’onn.
I’ve lost sight of the goodness of mankind, and I --


SUPERMAN (2)
(telepathically)
I need to find it again.
So I can find myself again.


PANEL FOUR
J’onn drifts in front of Superman, one hand placed reassuringly on his shoulder, the other pointing at the ‘S’ symbol on his chest.


J’ONN J’ONNZ (1)
(telepathically)
I don’t question the validity of your walkabout.
People think, because of who we are, because of what we can do,
that we don’t experience moments of doubt; crisis’ of confidence;
questions of faith.


J’ONN J’ONNZ (2)
(telepathically)
Of course, we do.
We’re as entitled as they are down there to experience a
maelstrom of emotions.


J’ONN J’ONNZ (3)
(telepathically)
But you’re a symbol, Kal-El.



PANEL FIVE
J’onn is prodding his finger into Superman’s chest, the S-Symbol taking centre stage.


J’ONN J’ONNZ
(telepathically)
Of truth and justice.
Of hope.
You inspire us to be better than we are.
To achieve more than we can.


PANEL SIX
On J’onn, his expression stern.

J’ONN J’ONNZ
(telepathically)
You want to see the best of mankind, Kal-El…


PANEL SEVEN
Pull back. Superman’s mouth is a hard line. We’re seeing some of that old steely determination.

J’ONN J’ONNZ
(telepathically)
(off panel)
… but is mankind seeing the best of you?








5 comments:

  1. I like the end but think the start could have been truncated greatly to the same effect.

    You could kick in with the final caption of panel 4 and be fine. Maybe show one panel of Supes on the open road, doubt in his eyes...whatever.

    But I really like that ending. Feels right in MM's mouth, not that I know the character that well at all.

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  2. I really like the script. A great look into what it means to be a hero in the DC Universe, and in general. Both sides of the discussion ring quite true.

    However, I'm inclined to agree with Ryan. The start of this piece isn't entirely necessary. I wouldn't necessarily go as far as Ryan suggests, but I think starting at panel 3 would work quite well, maintaining a lot of the same meanings while moving towards the stronger points quicker.

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  3. Hey Ryan, Grant, cheers for the feedback. I struggled with knowing where to begin with this one; it went through some fairly major edits and I'm still not entirely satisfied with the result.

    I like your suggestion, Ryan, of showing Superman on the open road - just something to break up the talking heads panels and liven up the page a little.

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  4. Sime, I like your interpretation of J'onn as this elder statesman of the heroic community who ever Superman turns to for guidance and encouragement. I thought you got that across pretty well in this script.

    Two minor quibbles...

    I wasn't entirely sure why Superman's eyes were bulging in their sockets...

    ...and there's something a little clunkt about the following line of dialogue...

    "We’re as entitled as they are down there to experience a maelstrom of emotions."

    I reckon it'd be smoother without the "down there".

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  5. Yeah, why are Superman's eyes bulging? I missed that.

    Other than that, a tight script. Love the idea that Supes needs reminding that he has a greater responsibility other than protecting people. He needs to be a role model. With great power comes great...oh wait.

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