Panel One.
J’onn J’onzz, in his human identity of Detective John Jones sits across a table from us in a welcoming diner. There is a glass of milk on the table before him along with a plate of Oreo cookies. Jones is not looking at us, his head is down – sad, but also a little embarrassed. He’s talking to a woman, unseen, sitting across the table where we are.
J’onn: I lost my wife a long time ago. Since then, I haven’t really…
J’onn: There hasn’t been… anyone else.
Woman: Maybe you just haven’t met the right girl?
Panel Two.
Wider shot of the diner. It’s night time, John and his “date” are the only ones present except for a waitress behind the counter who has fallen asleep with her face propped up facing a small portable TV set.
We’re watching this scene from further back than in the first panel, so we still can’t see much of the woman opposite J’onn – just the back of her head and her shoulders. She has long dark hair and is wearing a sleeveless black top.
J’onn: That’s what Boo… erm, Michael, my friend Michael, that’s what he keeps telling me.
J’onn: It was Michael who encouraged me… to join this... website.
Woman: You look like someone who’s seen a lot of pain in his life. A lot of… death.
Waitress: Zzzzzzzzzzzz
Panel Three.
Close on John. He’s feeling a little more confident, a little more comfortable. He’s looking the woman straight in the eye, a sad smile on his face.
J’onn: More than I could ever begin to tell you.
J’onn: Though, to be perfectly honest, it’s neither my grief nor my lack of experience that’s holding me back…
J’onn: If anything, I suppose you’d say… it’s prejudice.
Panel Four.
Exterior shot. The diner from outside. It’s raining. A taxi drives by, splashing water from the puddles. Though the diner isn’t particularly well lit, there is a warm cocoon of light around John and his date, marking them out as silhouettes in the window.
Woman: Oh, I know. People can be so narrow-minded, can’t they?
Woman: They get so wrapped up in how you look… or where you come from…
J’onn: Exactly.
Panel Five.
Close on John again… is he ready to confess all?
J’onn: Although I suppose I can’t really blame them.
J’onn: That is… if I were to show you how I really look… tell you where I really came from…
J’onn: I wouldn’t blame you if you never wanted to see me again.
Woman: Maybe you ought to try me…
Panel Six.
Reveal of John’s mystery date – it’s Death of the Endless. She’s smiling sweetly as she places her hand on top of his.
Death: I’m pretty much unshockable…
Death: That’s what my brother's always telling me, anyway.
I like it. The dialogue really works for me, especially the slow development of how J'onn is feeling and his attempts to try to explain that. I spent the whole script wondering who the girl in question was, and the reveal left me intrigued (instead of let down, as these things so often do), so kudos on that, as well!
ReplyDeleteNot bad, Rol. You use every trick in the book to obscure the femme's identity. YOu should have used the waitress pouring coffee to obscure the head, ha.
ReplyDeleteThis back and forth is sweet.
Great back and forth, and you Death's compassionate voice down pat.
ReplyDelete