Sunday, May 8, 2011

Omega Red - Alpha - Danial Carroll


[Ok, so I may have cheated slightly on this one as it's actually the first page of an Omega Red one-shot I started writing back when I was just getting into this comic-writing game. Anyway, just wanted to say that it helps if you read the captions with a Russian accent :P]

PAGE ONE


PANEL ONE, PAGE-WIDTH
We see an establishing shot of a seedy-looking bar/tavern at night. A black-haired woman is approaching the door.

CAPTION: I love the Tavern…


PANEL TWO
A glass of clear liquid sits on a bench-top with a strong, pale-skinned hand wrapped around it.

CAPTION: Bar.

CAPTION: Pub.

CAPTION: Saloon.


PANEL THREE
Reveal Arkady Rossovich, drinking from the glass just shown. He isn't in his Omega Red costume, just a plain white singlet.

CAPTION: Pivnaya


PANEL FOUR, HALF-PAGE SPLASH
From in front of Arkady, a wide angle reveals the dingy room behind him, full of drunken patrons; standing, sitting, playing pool. He is grinning slyly.

CAPTION: The intoxication of the people in these places--

CAPTION: --prevents them from noticing the life-force I’m draining…

CAPTION: … little by little.

8 comments:

  1. This script is described visually very well. I just wonder - is subtly in Omega Red's forte? He always struck me as the kind of guy who used his strength to get what he wants/needs at any chance he can.
    I would think that he would walk into the bar and just begin to suck the life out of the inhabitants - and he'd enjoy doing it.

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  2. You're absolutely right, and that is exactly what he does on about page 4 :P

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  3. Nice one, Danial. I questioned Omega Red's subtly too, at first, but that intrigue goes a long way into making this script work. It'a what you want from a first page, right?

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  4. I really like it. I'll admit to not having much experience with Omega Red, but I feel like the piece is an excellent snapshot and gives some insight into the character. Having read it, I think I understand Omega Red a little better.

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  5. Thanks, guys. If you want to read the rest of what I had, you can do so here.

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  6. It's only a 10-page "preview", so not too much reading ;)

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  7. Well, bang goes my first idea for a script this week - glad I read this before I started writing! Yours was better though - for some reason, I envisioned mine set in a cafe. You also clarified something I'd misunderstood from my limited reading of the character - I thought OR drained people's energy with his tentacles, I didn't realise this was his mutant ability.

    I enjoyed the rest of the script too. Great work.

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  8. @Rol: He emits pheromones that siphon people's energy. His touch just does it more efficiently.

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