Thursday, May 5, 2011

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - Escapology - Sime McDonald

Going for an action-oriented script this week after several months of exposition-heavy, dialogue laden ones. Here we go!

PANEL ONE
The largest panel on the page. 
The quartet of Ninja Turtles is running towards us, away from the threat behind them, a towering robot that has crashed its foot down on the asphalt, cracking the terrain. The robot should be reminiscent of Shredder; spikes, similar color palette, etc.

SFX
THOOM!

MICHELANGELO (1)
Aren't we meant to be - -

MICHELANGELO (2)
WHOA!


MICHELANGELO (3)
- - master combatants?

PANEL TWO
Michelangelo, leaping over the fractured asphalt as the robot gives chase.

MICHELANGELO
Not feeling so masterful!

PANEL THREE
Raphael, somersaulting over an upturned car. 

RAPHAEL (1)
Oh, I don't know, there's a - -

RAPHAEL 
(2)

HUTT!

RAPHAEL 
(3)

- - certain artistry to this!

PANEL FOUR
Michelangelo and Leonardo dive out of the way as the foot crashes down again.

SFX
THOOM!

MICHELANGELO
This - - ?

PANEL FIVE
On Donatello, grinning slyly.

DONATELLO
Escapology.

4 comments:

  1. I suppose that's one way of looking at it :-)

    Anyway, nicely done.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I like it. You manage to effectively convey the movement and excitement through the descriptions alone, while also giving some fun dialogue.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Yeah, this is awesome. Great action page, and it stars Mikey. So you win Sime.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Sime - the action pumps on this page, and the dialogue only helps it. Usually characters spout soliloqies while doing this stuff, you make them sound realistic.

    And then Donatello gets the best line. Golden.

    ReplyDelete

Feedback is what every good writer wants and needs, so please provide it in the white box below
-OR-
If you want to play along at home, feel free to put your scripts under the Why? post for the week.