Monday, May 2, 2011

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles – Eventually – Ryan K Lindsay

1. Raphael stands with Leonardo dead at his feet. He holds his sai ready but you can see he’s weary.
Raphael: Why?

2. Donatello sits in a throne, his bo staff in one hand on the side of the chair. The room is a cavernous hall, candles line the walls.
Donatello: Please, why not?
Donatello: A genius was stuck with a buffoon, a brainless do-gooder, and a whiner. I’m baffled as to why we haven’t danced to this tune already.
Donatello: Eventually this was going to happen.

3. Donatello stands, like a weary soldier.
Donatello: I don’t expect you to understand but please know that I’m not betraying you…

4. Donatello growls his last line.
Donatello: I’m solving you.


  1. Haha, yes! Donatello was always my favorite as a kid because he was just the smartest one in the room. Yeah, the other guys could fight, but he could solve any problem.

  2. Donatello? Really? If anyone was going to turn Heel, it would be Raphael. Yeah..RaPHael. Here's me, the worst speller in the history of ever, correcting you.

    I feel awesome :P

  3. Ben - I am wickedly shamed. But for the no prize, it wasn't a ninja turtle standing there, it was Rafael Albuquerque. Y'know, the artist on American Vampire. He won't stand for Donatello's ascent. I, however, will. Donatello was always the best one, and always will be.

  4. Donatello the best? He was just background. Raph and Leo is where it was at. Mikey was the comedic relief. Donatello was just a plot device.

  5. WHAT! WHY YOU....

    Raphael was the plot device...always brooding off, getting in trouble, sparking the next fight. Loser. Donatello was the real superstar! Hell, Donatello just killed Bin Laden!

  6. Please, Raph was the heart of the team. The guy you associated with. That's wh yhe was given the lead in the films, cos he had character. Where was Donny in the films? Too busy 'doing' machines, I'd wager.

  7. Though my favourite as a kid was Mikey, I agree with Ryan that Raph was more the "plot device". His moodiness was indeed the catalyst for many a drama.

  8. This script is all kinds of great. Way darker and grittier than I was expecting anything to be this week. I'm rather partial to the final "I'm solving you" line. Really emphasizes how Don doesn't see himself as wrong, but instead acting for the greater good. Creepy.


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