Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Zatanna – Do geese see god? – Rol Hirst

Panel One.

Close on Batman (Bruce), grim-faced as usual, explaining a puzzling problem.

Batman: Every time I think I’ve put a stop to his insane plans… he somehow manages to get the upper hand again.

Panel Two.

Flashback. Batman has just defeated the Joker. He holds the clown prince by the scruff of the Joker’s crazy purple Abba T-shirt. Despite having just taken a good pummelling from the Batman, Joker is still quietly giggling to himself. General Joker-flavoured fight-scene carnage in the background.

Joker: Was it a bat I saw?

Joker: Heheh…

Panel Three.

Close on Zatanna, listening to Batman’s tale of woe. She wants to help. (Because, y’know, she secretly luuuurves him.)

Batman (off-panel): At first I thought it was just a really bad case of déjà vu… now I’m not so sure, Zee.

Panel Four.

Flashback. The Joker has broken into the Batcave along with the Floronic Man’s old henchwomen Eva Green and Holly Wood. All three baddies are hurling knives and daggers at a huge spinning wheel to which the Joker has tied Batman (Dick) and Robin. Batman (Bruce) is rushing in to save his friends. The two henchwomen are wearing black outfits with a large white ‘S’ on the front and back, the Joker’s black outfit has a large white ‘O’. He’s standing between them.

Joker: Eva – can I stab bats in a cave?

Joker: Ahahahahaha!

Panel Five.

Two shot of Batman and Zatanna, standing on a darkened rooftop.

Batman: The Joker once told me that he hates the way our encounters always follow the same predictable course.

Batman: He starts out on top, but in the end I always knock him down.

Batman: What if he’s found some way to reverse that pattern – hit rewind every time I win… so that he never really loses?

Zatanna: You think he’s using some kind of crazy backwards magic… that’s why you called me. You may be right.

Panel Six.

Flash forward. Zatanna and Batman (Bruce) are both tied to a huge firework-style rocket, about to be launched from atop a skyscraper somewhere in Gotham City. The Joker stands watching, grinning maniacally, arms aloft. The Joker’s shirt says ‘!Tut tuT!’

Joker: Reviled did I live ‘n’ evil I did deliver!

Zatanna: We were both wrong – it’s much worse than backwards magic, Batman – it’s palindromic… the one enchantment none of my spells can combat!

Joker: Party, boobytrap!


  1. Love it. Has that animated series feel about it. You write Bats and Joker extremely well Rol. Zatanna too, I guess....

  2. Definite T:BTAS vibe going on here as benjum said. I wondered why Joker was wearing an Abba t-shirt (someone please draw this) and then I saw his dialogue and it all clicked.

    A nice, fun script with some interesting visuals.

  3. Absolutely love it. There is definitely a more playful vibe here (especially as personified in the Joker) that fits right in with the tone of the Animated series (or its top notch comic book adaptations). The different shirts are a great touch that show much thought you put into this one.

  4. Thanks, guys. I guess I much prefer the DC Universe when it's treated as a slightly more fun place - its best characters and concepts work so well in this type of story, I get frustrated when they insist on forcing the angst and darkness down our throats.

  5. Holy crap, that's a lot of palindromes. How many did you know beforehand writing this script?

  6. Not half as many as I know now. The internet is truly a wonderful thing!


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