Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Zatanna – Some Of Them Want To Be Abused – Ryan K Lindsay

1. A round table of costumed freaks are assembled. There are no known villains here, all new guys. Have fun designing these guys. Use plenty of whips and zippered mouths. One man stands up addressing everyone else. Above them all, a young woman hangs upside down from a rope. She is bound in intricate knots.
Tekcor Niks: The trap is set, we must be prepared. Is everyone ready?

2. Another male villain stands near a chalkboard. On it are the names of these dastardly lads. You can read Teckor Niks, Sllab Yriah, Tohs Muc, Tfahs Drah.
Tohs Muc: Good question, Tekcor Niks, I believe we’ve got the names out there enough. The papers have been running them. Most believe the Egyptian backstory. Fool!

3. Another male villain stands from the table, a defiant fist thrust into the air.
Tfahs Drah: This foul wench will feel the beating of Tfahs Drah!

4. A female villain walks from the shadows. She is sultry and slutty. Mostly slutty.
Anigav Tew: Not before she’s enveloped by the villainy of Anigav Tew.

5. Zatanna’s hat has dropped from the ceiling and is settling on the table. All the villains look up. Teckor Niks is twiddling his fingers in a giddily anxious way.
Teckor Niks: Oh blessed, let the rapture begin.

Yeah, I know. What can I say? Zatanna just didn't resonate with me. You think you can do better...go hit the Why Zatanna? post and prove it.


  1. I can picture you snickering behind your computer scren as you typed this. So is this new team the JSM?

  2. Ah, just as I suspected...stunned silence.

    I freely admit this is not my best work. Possibly my worst. But I'd rather front up something than nothing...I think.

    Though I must admit, Teckor Niks fiddling his fingers in the final panel does fill me with giddy glee, ha.

  3. Man, you are in a dirty place right now :P

    I've yet to even come up with a thought seed for this fine lass ;)

  4. The last panel made me laugh, especially with Teckor's line too.

  5. I must say, I do quite enjoy the combinations of the villains' names and their respective dialogue. I particularly enjoy "Not before she’s enveloped by the villainy of Anigav Tew." It's so over-the-top that I cannot help but smile.

    I recognize that a good part of this script has its tongue placed firmly in cheek, but my biggest issue is that I can't quite follow what's going on. I see a room full of depraved, inappropriately named villains who have kidnapped Zatanna and speak of the rapture, but I'm not able to make the connections between all the different pieces.

    Finally, shouldn't all the villain names be re-ordered? (i.e. "Tew Anigav" instead of "Anigav Tew") As they stand, wouldn't they be out-of-order when Zatanna says them?

    (I hope this doesn't come off as overly critical, I'm intending to be constructive with these thoughts)

  6. I thought this was just the right side of bawdy fun, up until Tew Anigav, which was perhaps a step too far into Mark Millar territory. I'd have preferred the female villain to have a slightly more cheeky, James Bondesque name... Yrgnuh Yssup?

    But that could just be me.


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