1. An older Dash stands in the kitchen. He’s making a sandwich, or something equally pedestrian. He looks like any other content middle-aged father.
NO COPY
2. Dash turns as his daughter runs up to him, she’s all pig tails and cuteness. She’s running a mile a minute. Her name is Reggie.
Reggie: Daddy, tell me about Mummy.
Dash: Again.
Reggie: Yes, again.
3. Dash smiles down at his daughter.
Dash: I’m only going to say one thing.
Reggie: Say it.
Dash: You want to hear the same thing. Again.
Reggie: Again!
Dash: Alright…
4. Dash kisses her on the head.
Dash: She was the best.
Reggie: The best!?
Dash: The very best.
5. Reggie kisses Dash on the cheek.
Reggie: You’re the best, Daddy.
6. Reggie runs out of the kitchen into the backyard.
NO COPY
7. Dash looks out the window at his daughter running through the backyard. In the reflection of the window we see almost ghostly appearance of Carol. She is smiling.
Dash: Hardly.
I'm not sure why I wrote so introspective here for Dash. I could have gone for drugs, I could have gone for an ass kicking, but instead I went for this. This is just how thoughtballoons works for me, whatever comes to me is what I run with. I feel like I could have worked and dug around for something different, a scene of Dash and Carol in bed, or Dash and red Crow talking each other in circles, or Dash doing something completely messed up. I could have dug around for that scene but would it have been true? This scene chose me so I respected that choice. I went with it and I'm happy with this script. It isn't perfect but it's true.
I know nothing of this character, so this just came across as a touching family piece, which is sometimes a nice change :)
ReplyDeleteThis is a surprisingly sweet script, considering the character choice and the tone of scripts I'm used to seeing you write. I find myself pleasantly surprised at this turn of events.
ReplyDeleteNicely done. :-)
I hadn't expected you to go down this path, Ryan, particularly as Dash was your character choice, but I'm glad you did. It's a strong and surprising page that hints at all kinds of story possibilities. I also agree entirely that the first idea is often the strongest when it comes to thoughtballoons - I've found my own weaker offerings have often been the ones where I thought too long or tried to be too clever. Sometimes, as you say, the best ideas are the ones that find you.
ReplyDeleteJust, wow. You've outdone yourself this week, Ryan. This page is moving in a way I was not expecting from a week of Bad Horse scripts. For a series that spends so much time kicking Dash when he's down, I love your look at a possible content future. It's so simple and yet says so much. Love it.
ReplyDeleteAs others have said, completely unexpected from you, but also incredibly moving and well written page. Good one, Ryan.
ReplyDelete