ZATANNA
Starring in an ELSEWORDS tale…
“SHOWGIRL”
Zatanna is bowing onstage, having just completed her act. The crowd is cheering, applauding the show, smiles plastered on their faces; they’ve been thoroughly entertained.
CAPTION
1908.
SFX
ClapClapClapClapClapClap!
PANEL TWO
Focus on one man in the crowd, unsmiling, not clapping. He’s mid-fifties, balding, spectacles perched on the edge of his nose. This is Kenneth Dorling, FBI agent.
SFX
ClapClapClapClapClapClap!
PANEL THREE
Later, in Zatanna’s dressing room. She’s glamoured up, about to hit the town. She’s quite the celebrity, after all. She’s applying makeup, looking into the mirror. She hasn’t noticed Dorling watching her from the doorway.
KENNETH DORLING
Ahem.
PANEL FOUR
Zatanna glowers at Dorling, arms by her side, lips pursed, prepped to utter an enchantment at the first hint of trouble. Kenneth Dorling stands before her with his arms by his side.
KENNETH DORLING
Zatanna Zatara, my name is Dorling.
I’m from the government.
ZATANNA
This about my taxes?
PANEL FIVE
Dorling’s smile shows no hint of warmth.
KENNETH DORLING (1)
This is about a crime, Miss Zatara.
KENNETH DORLING (2)
If you’d like to accompany me to my vehicle downstairs?
PANEL SIX
Zatanna’s reluctance plays across her face.
ZATANNA
I don't - - that is to say, I - -
PANEL SEVEN
Dorling holds out his identification, ‘FBI’ clearly emblazoned.
KENNETH DORLING (1)
You misunderstand, Miss Zatara.
I'm not here to arrest you.
KENNETH DORLING (2)
I’m here to recruit you.
Solid stuff Sime. Easy to read, gets the premise over and sets up friction between the boss and the soon to be employee. All in one page. Damn you talent :P
ReplyDeleteAgent Zatara: FBI; cira 1908 - I wish to know more about this particular WORLD she inhabits.
ReplyDeleteNice!
ReplyDeleteThe page sells the concept of the Elsewords premise and hints at everything to come.
This would work well as an opening page--straight to the point and intriguing.
This a rock-solid opening page. As has been said by those above me, it gives you more than enough information about the setting, while hinting at so much more that's yet to come. Awesome stuff.
ReplyDeleteA hugely effective opening page, Simon. Like Danial's page, you give us just enough here to drag us kicking and screaming into the story and make us want more.
ReplyDelete