Panel One.
Atomic Robo and one of his soldier pals (new character, we’ll call him Grant in tribute to one of Atomic Robo’s biggest fans) are running down a long corridor in a secret research installation / evil bad guy’s lair type place.
They’re being pursued by a flying steel box with machine guns mounted on either side – it’s firing at them.
Atomic Robo: This is worse than I thought – it’s Schrödinger's Cat – and he’s armed!
Grant: He’s trying to kill us!
SFX: RATATATATATATAT!
Panel Two.
Atomic Robo and Grant duck round a corner and the flying metal box goes whizzing past.
SFX: Meooooooooow!
Atomic Robo: And if Schrödinger himself were here, I’m sure he’d postulate that either his cat will kill us… or it won’t.
Grant: You think maybe we should kill it before it solves that particular quantum dilemma?
Panel Three.
Close on Atomic Robo, looking thoughtful.
Atomic Robo: Only one problem with that – the cat might already be dead.
Grant (O/P): What now? How can it be dead--!?
Atomic Robo: There’s no way to know for sure until we can see inside that box.
Panel Four.
The flying box / Schrödinger's Cat is back – this time it’s armed with a buzz saw and firing lasers.
Atomic Robo and Grant start running again.
SFX: ZZZZZZZZZZZ!
SFX: Weeoop! Weeoop! Weeoop!
Grant: This is why I hate science.
Atomic Robo: Just keep running, I’ll figure something—
Panel Five.
Atomic Robo and Grant hit a slippery patch on the floor and go skidding. They’re still being pursued by Schrödinger's Cat… but also being observed in the foreground by dog-shaped silhouettes.
Atomic Robo: --oouuuuuuuuuutttt!
Panel Six.
Atomic Robo and Grant have come to land in a tangle of arms and legs. They’re now surrounded by enemies – not just the deadly, flying cat-in-a-box, but also a pack of slobbering mutant dogs. The dogs’ slobber is all over the floor – it’s this which caused our heroes to slip. Atomic Robo is staring at the dogs, Grant can’t see what’s happening because he’s lying face down in the tangle.
Atomic Robo: Oh great. This just gets better and better.
Grant: What is it? What is it!?
Atomic Robo: We’re not just up against Schrödinger's Cat…
Atomic Robo: We’ve also got to deal with Pavlov’s Dogs!
Panel 3 - shouldn't Grant have a comma between what and now?
ReplyDeleteThis page is fun, but it almost feels too silly. You've used two scientific theories well, and they make me laugh, but this feels like a Saturday morning cartoon or AR, not AR himself - even though AR seems to feel like a Saturday morning cartoon at times...I'm conflicted, I think it's a good script but just one that didn't get with me.
On another note, my very first thought was to use Schrödinger's Cat...but I didn't. You certainly did, and did it well.
I've only just discovered AR (thanks to Grant suggesting him as this weeks character) so I'm not sure if the tone is too cartoony or not. I guess I need to read more of his adventures - and I will be as soon as Amazon delivers 'em!
ReplyDeleteAs to the comma, I'd say no... it's a confused "Huh?" style comment rather than a "What (you mean's he's dead,) now?"... but nice try, Ryan. ;-)
Ah, Rol, I thought I had you this time. Damn :)
ReplyDeleteGlad to hear you've ordered some of the books. I've bought a few through ComiXology. They read well on my phone even but look glorious on an iPad.
I think this is a fair page. However, I'm pretty sure that if the cat "meowed", it would be considered an observation that it were alive ;)
ReplyDeleteFair point, Danial, though I meant the "Meooooww!" more to signify the zoooom sound a flying possibly living / possibly dead cat might make if it were inside a high speed metal box. The same sfx a possibly living / possibly dead cat driving a high-performance motorbike would make.
ReplyDelete@Rol - I'm glad you've enjoyed the discover of Atomic Robo! If I've managed to convince even one person to give the series a chance, I consider my goal achieved.
ReplyDeleteAs to your script, I might be a little biased with my views, but I really liked it.
It is perhaps a tad sillier than Atomic Rob would normally be, but I'm more than willing to forgive it for its clever and hilarious use of both Schrödinger's cat and Pavlov's dog(s).
I would also say that the dialogue is pretty snappy, with the exception of Robo's line in panel 2. I feel like it's a little overwritten. I think you could get the same meaning across without needing the "And if Schrödinger himself were here...". It just strikes me as a little wordy.
Everything else I totally dig though - especially that dashing Action Scientist you've come up with. I think he'd make an excellent addition to Tesladyne's dynamic team. :)
This page is much lighter in tone than I'm used to with AR (I've only read the first two trades) but I liked it.
ReplyDeleteNot sure about the reveal of the dogs at the end but overall this was a solid page-- especially with your knowledge of the character being fairly new and limited.
Normally I'm a dog's person, but I liked the cat bits more in this script.
ReplyDeleteAlso, totally awesome.