Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Thunderbolts - The Fear Lingers On - Sime McDonald


A FEAR ITSELF tie-in!
I do not read Thunderbolts. I have not read any of the Fear Itself tie-ins. This script will go against events already in motion in Marvel continuity. You’re gonna have to roll with it.

PAGE NINETEEN

PANEL ONE
Within the subterranean headquarters of The Sons of the Serpents (first appeared in Avengers #32), the Supreme Serpent stands before his followers, arms outstretched, palms flat, in the midst of an empowering sermon. The Serpent followers are lapping it up, arms raised, hands bunched into fists. He’s clad in traditional ‘Sons of Serpent’ attire, his identity obscured by his serpent mask. The only attribute that differentiates the Supreme Serpent from his followers is he’s wearing robes. Behind him are several screens, all displaying moments occurring in Fear Itself related chaos; e.g. The Hulk / Nul, The Thing / Angrir, Juggernaut / Kuurth; and one should showcase the death of Captain America / Bucky. The world is going crazy – and these guys are loving it.

THE SUPREME SERPENT
Cosmic threats; they come and go!
But fear! Fear remains latent! Fear lingers on!

GHOST
(off-panel / no word balloon tail)
You getting this?

PANEL TWO
Focus on The Sons of Serpents crowd, all of whom are cheering. We can see an outline of Ghost, in his invisible form, standing amidst the crowd.

THE SUPREME SERPENT
(off-panel)
And we will use this fear to revolutionize America
into its true form!
LUKE CAGE
(off-panel / static / from Ghost’s earpiece)
Yeah…

PANEL THREE
Cut to the White House situation room. Luke Cage stands with the President and his Chief of Staff. The Chaos of Fear Itself is showcased on several monitors. POTUS’ face is etched with concern; his Chief of Staff is leaning in, whispering something in his ear.
LUKE CAGE
… we got it.

CHIEF OF STAFF
Well, at least they believe we’ll eliminate this threat…

GHOST
(off-panel / static)
Ahem.

PANEL FOUR
Cage looks at POTUS expectantly, an eyebrow arched. The Chief of Staff is still right by his side, still whispering in the President’s ear conspiratorially.

LUKE CAGE [1]
Mr. President.

LUKE CAGE [2]
The Thunderbolts are on standby, ready to engage on your command.

POTUS
I –

CHIEF OF STAFF [1]
Mr. President, I must protest! I've made my feelings on
the Thunderbolts initiative quite clear...
There must be another option, here.

CHIEF OF STAFF [2]
Sanctioning this band of – of misfits! – for an operation like this, I mean - -

PANEL FIVE
On Cage. He’s keeping his temper in check – but only just.
LUKE CAGE [1]
Mr. President. The Avengers are scattered. Captain America is dead.
Steve Rogers has his hands full. Hell, the X-Men... they're dealing with
San Francisco .

LUKE CAGE [2]
Forget their history. My team is comprised of a teleporter, a half-demon,
a sound manipulator and a superhuman with the ability to manipulate
gravity and fire motion blasts.

PANEL SIX
POTUS and his Chief of Staff share a glance as Cage thumbs his chest.
LUKE CAGE
We’re all you’ve got, Mr. President.

END OF PAGE 19

The following page (page twenty) would be a splash of the current Thunderbolts team (minus Juggernaut, of course) preparing to teleport. Luke’s spiel would follow on in a narrative caption: “We’re all you need.”

5 comments:

  1. Man, that's a lot of dialogue. The first two panels probably could have been cropped. The page would look better with the discussion raging at the top of the page and then Cage getting space to breathe with his last line in prep for the splash.

    Otherwise, I like the set up. You always do well using your own made up characters against the choice of the week.

    WELCOME BACK! :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. I agree with Ryan's suggestions to free up a bit of space on the page. Regardless, it's still a cool idea that is well-executed, and I really like your plan for page 20. That would be a solid way to finish an issue of Thunderbolts.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Thanks Ryan and Grant. I could probably work the page better, yeah - a lot of the dialogue is probably superfluous. Could have maybe started the script at panel four?

    ReplyDelete
  4. It's like The West Wing with superheroes - and no one ever told Aaron Sorkin he wrote too much dialogue. Good to have you back, Sime.

    ReplyDelete
  5. There is a LOT of dialogue here but with a little editing and moving things around (or combining things) this page could come off really well.

    I like the idea of the Thunderbolts being the Marvel U's last hope. Everyone else writes them off as a bunch of second stringers, criminals and has-beens, etc.

    ReplyDelete

Feedback is what every good writer wants and needs, so please provide it in the white box below
-OR-
If you want to play along at home, feel free to put your scripts under the Why? post for the week.