Page 3 (of 4)
Batwoman (Kate Kane) is fighting crime two hours after a disastrous blind date that her cousin Bette forced/blackmailed her into going on. Kate finds herself drawing some parallels between her dating and crime fighting experiences in panels that alternate between “now” and “two hours ago”.
PAGE THREE (6 Panels).
Panel 1. Back on the rooftop: Batwoman, already on her hands and knees, gets punched again in the face by the villain Ms. X.
Valentine told me you were tough...but I'm just not seeing it.
Panel 2. On the rooftop: Kate looks up at Ms. X, from the ground, and wipes a trickle of blood from her chin.
First of all, whether villain or blind date, they all seem to know one another.
Panel 3. Flashback to a restaurant scene: Kate sits across a dinner table from a woman (AMY) maybe 5 to 10 years her senior. Dressed in a smart power suit of sorts. She's got a Rachel Maddow look. Clean and sharp, attractive but not necessarily beautiful.
Two Hours Ago.
Wait...Kate Kane? Not that Kate Kane.
Panel 4. At the restaurant: Amy has an annoyed/accusatory expression on her face, as if Kate's not so stellar reputation has preceded her.
I didn't realize it was you. I've heard of you.
I used to date [BLEEEEP].
Oh. This will be fun.
Panel 5. Back on the rooftop: Batwoman kicks Ms. X in the chest.
It's a surprisingly small world I guess. The Gotham villain pool and the Gotham dating pool.
Panel 6. The two women, hero and villain, stand on the roof slightly apart, silently sizing each other up.
As always, I remain a massive fan of Kelly Thompson. She has a column with Comics Should Be Good on CBR, she’s a voice on the 3 Chicks Review Comics Podcast (which is awesome and I urge you all to check it out), she’s a fellow CBR reviewer, and she’s just had a story approved for the media sensation, and monetary titan, Womanthology. Not only do I respect Kelly's work but I love chatting with her. It was a pleasure to have her guest star on thoughtballoons for this week and I hope you like her script, I sure did.
Doesn't look like things are working out that great for Kate, that sucks :)ReplyDelete
I like the flow of this page, though the silent panel at the end throws me off a little - but that could be because I'm such a word heavy guy.
Is it wrong I find the date panels slightly more awesome than the rooftop fight?
Hey! Thanks for inviting me to participate Ryan - this was fun (and challenging). I'll send you the full script so you can see if that silent panel makes more sense in context. ;)ReplyDelete
Thanks again to all of the Thought Balloons gents for letting me have a go!
A great look into the mind of Kate.ReplyDelete
There is so much that I like about this page. The connection between blind dates and villains works really well, and the parallelism between the scenes works.
I like the image of the final panel. It kind of puts the creative process in the reader's hands, letting them decide what's going on.
I think it goes without saying that I would love to read the rest of this little yarn. It's some good stuff.
A tip of the hat to you Kelly, what a strong page on every level. Your great grasp of the characters voice made for a wonderfully engaging page.ReplyDelete
I echo what Grant said the playful juxtaposition between Kate's two worlds of fighting crime and trying to get a date was so well conceived and paced.
I would really enjoy to read the rest of this story.
Now to try and come up with an idea that grace the same site as this.
Hey Kelly, welcome to TB. I really enjoyed this page and I can't help but feel that there is a bigger connection between the blind date and the villainous Ms. X. The only thing though is that I could have used a description of what Ms. X looks like (I'm assuming she is a new character, if not, then carry on).ReplyDelete
Great juxtaposition of images and script, Kelly. Like Matt, I wondered if there might be a connection between date and enemy... but that's probably down to some of the blind dates I remember from my dark past. I'd kind of hope it wasn't the obvious connection though...ReplyDelete
@Matt I am not sure if Ms. X is a new character or not, however if she is I feel perhaps her description may have come earlier in the story as this is page 3 of 4. I would love to read the rest and find out.ReplyDelete
Hey guys...thanks again for the welcome and the great comments.ReplyDelete
Shaun is right that Ms. X (who is "new") is introduced visually (the way Amy is) on page one, so I didn't do it here on page three, though perhaps I should have for this exercise for clarity's sake.
It's funny that some of you are questioning the possibly obvious connection between Ms. X and Amy...originally I wanted to stay away from that, but in the end some of the dialogue turned out kind of nicely to draw that parallel anyway...and so now I really can't decide which way to take it. I wrote both and have been wavering back and forth.
If any of you are serious about wanting to see the full four pages, just leave a comment to that effect, or shoot me an email (1979semifinalist[at]gmail[dot]com) and I'll send it your way. I'd of course welcome any feedback, but no obligation obviously!
A really good concept executed well. Like the others I instantly drew a connection with Kate's date and the villain she was fighting on the rooftop. That in itself has the potential to be a doozy of a story.ReplyDelete
A great page, and I think you have a good handle on Kate's voice.
My only caveat is, like Ryan, the silent last panel threw me a bit. Personally I would have added a small, snappy line there to add some final punch to the page.