Thursday, August 4, 2011

Phonogram – A Comet Disappears – Ryan K Lindsay


1. A stark light hanging from a bare roof flickers. Can we show flickering in a comic?
Caption: They shone a chlorine light on,

2. A young guy is strapped to a table. The flickering light makes him look pretty shabby.
Caption: A host of individual sins,

3. A female hand caresses the guy’s face.
Caption: Let's carve my aging face off,

4. The guy’s eye shows the reflection of a knife in her hand.
Caption: Fetch us a knife,

5. A woman, a witch, is arching back with glee, we can’t see what her hands are doing.
Caption: Start with my eyes,

6. The woman’s face in close up, she’s sexy, nasty, the exact sort of thing that lures in guys like this all the time.
Caption: Down so the lines,

7. A cordon of sexy witches watch.
Caption: Form a grimacing smile.

This would be the first page of my Phonogram mini. It’s a murder mystery, a penny dreadful, if you will. I’d like it to have a new protagonist, a phonomancer, investigating this crime, and others like it. He, or she, would go to David Kohl for information at one stage but otherwise it would be a standalone tale you could enjoy without needing the previous trades to understand.

I haven’t used Britpop because it just doesn’t resonate with me. I have instead used these lyrics, from The Shins’ ‘A Comet Appears,’ because I think they kick ass. I’d actually like to turn that entire song into an OGN about a failed superhero because I think it would be perfect. Maybe one day…


  1. Great song cleverly dealt out!!

    The song matches the page very well

  2. I like how this week is allowing us all to indulge our musical fantasies. Very creepy page, Ryan.

    I think you could show flickering, but you'd have to show it over the course of the page, not just in one panel.

  3. I think the only way a flickering bulb could be shown is with 3 or 4 small inset panels. Other than that, I liked this page. It's a good setup.

  4. *rushes off to listen to the song*

    Nice. Makes it all the more chilling now that I know the song.

    I agree with Danial about the flickeringness of said light.

    You know what album would make an awesome GN? Obsolete by Fear Factory - Sci-Fi metal with swords anyone? (To be honest, the album was written to be a continuous story, but hey I'd still buy it).

  5. Ha, I'm loving this flickering light debate. Golden.

  6. I really like the idea Ryan, but I was surprised by the lack of details in the script. What is the guy's expression as this happens? What do the Phonomancers watching look like?

    In other words, if I was the artist for this script, I would send back an email with a ton of questions, haha. But like I said, I like the idea and the execution.

  7. So many different genres this week! It's hard to keep track of them all!

    I like the idea of using a song to commit a crime or to solve a mystery. There's so many possibilities inherent within this world. Would definitely be excited to read the rest of this, were I holding it in my hands.

    See also: I think the light flicker could at a ton of mood / ambience over the course of the page, with the colouring changing wildly as the light switches on and off.

  8. Somehow, prior to this, my mind was somehow locked on Phonomancy being something that would either be used for good, or just selfish inconsequential fun. Didn't consider is as being use for evil. And with that, it's suddenly become scarier.

  9. I like this page. Never listened to the song, but I will do now!

    One of the most interesting things about this weeks pick is seeing how different writers have interpreted lyrics, etc. Someone else could listen to the song Ryan has used here and come up with a very different tale.

    I don't know what it says about me that I chose to ignore lyrics and have Mick Jagger fighting the devil.

    Anyway, cool imagery to go with the haunting lyrics/captions.


Feedback is what every good writer wants and needs, so please provide it in the white box below
If you want to play along at home, feel free to put your scripts under the Why? post for the week.