PAGE 1 - 5 PANELS
1. Rocket stands in front of a suburban house at night.
Caption: This place looks nice, right? Splendid family inside, two cars in the garage, 815 channels on the widescreen tv.
2. Rocket walks across the front yard.
Caption: Yeah, right.
Caption: You wouldn't believe the evil we tracked here.
3. Rocket looks down the side of the house, there's a slight path leading out the back.
Caption: If I told you what was really here you'd leave your home straight away and take off for the hills.
Caption: It's better you never realise what's most likely in your neighbourhood, too.
4. Rocket looks up at the big tree up the side of the house. We can tell it's actually Groot, incognito.
Caption: The evidence we need is finally where we can get it.
5. Rocket looks down at the bins out the back.
Caption: But it feels like someone is taking the piss out of me.
Rocket: [sigh]
I'll be the first to admit. This isn't great. I wanted a real Sean Phillips page and while he could draw this simple page easily I do not think the words would do him justice. The biggest problem here is I do not know the voice of these characters at all. At. All. It is surprisingly restrictive when you can't hear the characters in your head. Good to know...for the future.
I had the same problem with these two, I have no idea about their voices or character. As such I kind of cheated and relied on repetition and minimal dialogue.
ReplyDeleteI thought this was a solid effort though and panel four had me laughing after trying to imagine groot being incognito.
But... Groot's "voice" is really easy to capture!
ReplyDeleteMy biggest problem with this page was that I'm really not sure what was going on. But then I am a colossal dumbass.
@ Rol: I'm with you in the not understanding it thing. Is he trying to get evidence out of the garbage but being foiled by the lids? Or is there something else entirely going on?
ReplyDeleteYou've never read Guardians of the Galaxy!?! For shame. It's awesome.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, Rocket's voice is simply that of comic relief, mixed in with occasional seriousness. Probably about a 90/10 mix :)
Huh, seems my script didn't work at all. Lame.
ReplyDeleteI was going for the duo tracking some evil to a house, and the evidence being in the bins, but Rocket feeling like a fool rattling around in the bins out the back of a house because (ba-bum CHA) it's so cliche for Raccoons for rummage through bins, AMIRIGHT? Is this thing on?
Oh. I get it now. It probably doesn't help that I'm not all that familiar with the activities of raccoons since we sadly don't have any of the critters here. We have to make do with squirrels.
ReplyDelete@Rol - nor do we. We have to make do with Kangaroos and Dropbears.
ReplyDeleteI could see where you were going with it Ryan, I just didn't feel it. To be honest the swearing threw me somewhat as well.
Ryan-I liked that while this seemed like a much more serious take on the surface, there were some pretty funny elements. Overall though, it's like you said. You didn't really get their voices down.
ReplyDeleteBut you did inspire me to do my own RR & Groot stake out scene. Here it is.
PAGE 1
1-Rocket Raccoon leans back in the driver's seat of his and Groot's "borrowed" space caddy. There are dice in the mirror and an alien hula girl on the dash. Wrappers from fast food joint, Inhuman Burger, litter the inside of the car. Rocket is bored.
ROCKET CAPTION: I hate stakeouts. Especially little ones.
ROCKET RACCOON: What's he doing now, Groot?
2-Groot is leaning out the passenger side window with some space binoculars. Around the car in the background, there are what looks like giant beer bottles, underwear and a half-full ash tray.
GROOT: I am Groot!
ROCKET RACCOON: I hear ya, buddy.
3-Through a door that is ajar, we see a grotesque looking alien sitting on a space couch in a dark room, basking in the glow of a space TV and surrounded by space junk food.
ROCKET RACCOON: Watching a Flurbellian flark off to "Space Age Space Babes of the 24th Century" isn't exactly my idea of guarding the galaxy either.
4- Rocket munches on an Inhuman Burger. It has the little antennae (like Black Bolt and Lockjaw) for a toothpick in the middle.
ROCKET RACCOON: But if this guy has been impersonating our dearly departed pal, Star Lord, then we need to know his next move.
GROOT: I am Groot!
5-Rocket perks up, mid-bite. He hears the door bell ring.
SFX: DING DONG
ROCKET RACCOON: The doorbell! Finally, some action!