I think I've unconsciously written a sequel to Ryan's page yesterday...
Static sits on a rooftop, sulking, his hands over his head, elbows shielding part of his face. It’s night time and we can see the lights of the city in the background.
Static: I’m sick of it, all right?
Elsewhere. Street level. A man in a business suit has parked his car at a meter. He’s just got out of the car and is reaching to close the car door when he’s jolted by a spark of static electricity.
Man: Yeoww! @!#$!
In her bedroom, a young woman pulls on a woolly polo-neck jumper. Her hair stands up from her head due to the static. She glares into the mirror.
A romantic scene – a cosy apartment lit only by candles. A young couple snuggling on the sofa lean closer to kiss each other, their lips about to touch…
Pull out from this scene, through the open apartment window as though we’re looking in from outside. We can see the apartment is on the top floor and that on the rooftop above, that’s where Static is sitting in his sulk. We can’t see much inside the apartment, maybe just the back of the sofa and the silhouettes of the young couple, standing now. The curtains are billowing slightly in the wind.
Boy: Ooh… sorry, hon’… kinda spoiled the mood, I guess, huh? Damned
Angry and unappreciated, Static flies away from the rooftop on his saucer. He doesn’t hear the girl’s reply.
Static: I get the blame for everything round here!
Girl: No, no… actually, I liked it. Let’s try that again…
Nice final panel. Great way to twist the page away from the one hook you've got and then make it better. Nice.ReplyDelete
Great use of misunderstanding!ReplyDelete
Good page. My only gripe, for me is the Boy's line about the static spoiling the mood. Seems kind of expositional. Other than that, cool.ReplyDelete
Great last panel and, like Ryan's page, very Spidey-esque in its tone and execution.ReplyDelete
The 'static' line was overselling it a bit but the last panel saved it. Good stuff.
A nice use of build and leading the reader in one direction to have the final panel spin into something so much more. Nice work.ReplyDelete
A cute page. I like the slow escalation, and that last line adds a lot to the piece.ReplyDelete