1. The classic over head shot of Wile E. Coyote falling from a great height to the desert floor below. In his hand is a sign that reads ‘YIKES!’
2. The same as Panel 1, however Coyote is further away from as he falls closer to the ground.
3. Same as Panel 1, but there is no Coyote in frame. There is however a small dust cloud from where he has hit the ground.
4. From ground level, we see a deep Coyote-shaped indentation in the desert floor, where Coyote came to rest. From this hole we see Coyote’s single hand reaching up to pull himself out.
5. Coyote is out of the hole, dusting himself off. He looks annoyed. A single thought balloon is above his head with a dollar sign within.
6. Coyote is looking at the reader, clicking his fingers as the thought balloon has changed from a dollar sign to a bright light bulb. Coyote is pleased with his idea.
7. A carnival. At the front of the panel is a tent. Next to the tent is a sign. It is advertising for a show that takes place within the tent. The sign reads:
Come see the Coyote that cannot die!
Marvel as he brushes off Death!
Only $20
Something about this just doesn't gel with me. It's the ending, it's...something... (sorry, that's all I've got...).
ReplyDeleteOh, but I've got plenty of ellipses, probably reads like Shatner.
I like the concept, and I recognize our self-imposed constraint at play here, but I feel like this joke would play a lot better over the course of a few pages or even an entire storyline of Wile E. brushing off death a number of times while trying to capture the Road Runner. This ending feels like it would be right at home at the end of an actual Wile E. and Road Runner sketch, so it comes off as a bit rushed all in one panel in my opinion.
ReplyDeleteI'd also echo Ryan's thoughts in that the wording on that sign doesn't quite work for me. Sorry Ben, not trying to rag on you, just offer some constructive criticism.
Really great idea Ben. So good in fact I have to agree with Grant that I would have loved to have seen it play out over a few pages, with Wile defying death in more and more elaborate ways, then coming to his conclusion. But come on man when my only really complaint is that your idea is so strong I want to see more of it you're doing something right.
ReplyDeleteI can see what Ryan means about the sign, but otherwise I'm happy with this page. Although I do hope it doesn't suggest Wile E is giving up his main profession. He just wants that money to buy more ACME goodies, right?
ReplyDelete