Sunday, November 20, 2011
The Flash in "Bottleneck" by Danial Carroll
PANEL ONE, WIDE
Wide angle of Barry's bedroom. In one strobed blur, Barry has thrown the bedsheets off, turned off the alarm clock, run in to and out of the adjacent bathroom (going from unshaven to shaven in the process), and run in to and out of the wardrobe (changing from boxer shorts to work clothes). The final "strobe" is him tightening his tie.
CAPTION: A system is only as fast as its slowest component.
SFX/SHEETS: WHOOSH
SFX/ALARM: MEEP MEEP ME--
SFX/BATHROOM: VZZZZZ
PANEL TWO, WIDE
From in front, we see Barry sitting in his car on a highway. There is a long line of cars behind him, showing that this really is some heavy traffic. His car is filled with boxes of paperwork--this being the reason he couldn't just run to work. He is propping his head up with his arm and rolling his eyes.
CAPTION: When fast meets slow, it is called a "bottleneck".
BARRY: ->sigh<-
PANEL THREE
Barry is stooped over a kettle in the office tearoom, waiting for it to boil.
CAPTION: As The Flash, I rarely run into such problems.
BARRY/WHISPER: Just boil already.
PANEL FOUR
As of Barry's POV, we see a computer screen with a quarter-filled load bar and a big label reading, "Loading. Please wait..." From each side of the panel we see Barry's hands clutching at the air.
CAPTION: But as Barry Allen...
PANEL FIVE, WIDE
Close-up of Barry's eyes, sullen, overlaid with a sequence of clock hands ticking second-by-second towards 5pm.
SFX/CLOCK: TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK
CAPTION: ... The Bottleneck is my Arch-Nemesis.
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Danial - I like this page, however, Barry just needs to work smarter, not harder.
ReplyDeleteHe could run each box of paperwork, one at a time, to work and beat that traffic. He could also rub the kettle and the friction would speed up the heating process.
As for the computer, he'd be better off learning how to handwrite Arial font and then not ever using a word processor again.
:)
Otherwise, this is a really good premise. And well executed.
Oh, and he'd never let the alarm get 2.5 meeps out, surely.
Maybe he wanted a sleep in that day ;)
ReplyDeleteNice page.
ReplyDeleteI love the core concept of the world getting in Barry's way. That even with his powers there are things he still has to WAIT for.
Like the others, I like the everyman concept of this page so much I can overlook the illogical aspects. Good work.
ReplyDelete