The following is an EXILES-based story, so the characters are not versions that anyone would be familiar with. This Exiles team is made up of the following:
AGENT TASKMASTER – A version of Taskmaster who decided to become a hero, and ended up replacing Steve Rodgers as Captain America instead of John Walker.
DR. WAGNER – Nightcrawler as Sorcerer Supreme, but highly conflicted about the actual use of his mystical powers due to his Catholic faith.
IRON WOMAN – In a world where TONY STARK is still the playboy CEO and owner of STARK INDUSTRIES but without the usual super-powered brain, instead of being his secretary PEPPER POTS is both the true genius behind Stark’s R&D Department and the Super Hero known as IRON WOMAN.
GROOT – He is Groot! (Just not quite the one we’re used to…)
PATSY WALKER: DEADPOOL – From a world obsessed with fashion, where Supermodel Patsy Walker underwent an experimental cosmetic treatment that went wrong, emerging from the situation as the insane “Model with a Mouth: DEADPOOL”.
(6 Panels)
Panel 1: Close-up of DR. WAGNER and the new form of APOCALYPSE which he now holds in the palm of his hand. APOCALYPSE now resembles a ‘My Little Pony’ toy. (Potential Reference Art)
DR. WAGNER (1): I used Apocalypse’s own transformative abilities against him.
DR. WAGNER (2): He should be far easier to contain in this form.
Panel 2: The team all stand around DR. WAGNER as they look upon the new form of APOCALYPSE. GROOT stands opposite of DR. WAGNER.
DEADPOOL: Apocalypse? As a pony?
DEADPOOL: (Yellow Text Box) Get it? Apocalypse Pony!
DEADPOOL: Oh, I get it now!
Panel 3: Everyone looks at DEADPOOL. She has one hand loosely up to her mouth as to indicate that she’s giggling like a crazy schoolgirl.
DEADPOOL: HA! The Magical Elf made a funny!
SFX: (Surrounding and behind DEADPOOL) He he he he he he he he he he he he he!
Panel 4: Close up on APOCOLYPSE. His eye flashes.
SFX: ding
Panel 5: Silence as everyone looks at APOCOLYPSE.
Panel 6: APOCOLYPSE leaps out of DR. WAGNER’s hand and uppercuts GROOT with head-butt, popping him up in the air and making it quite clear that APOCOLYPSE is still far from beaten and far from harmless.
SFX: CRACK!
END PAGE
(I already had the artwork and the joke was just too good to pass up on, so yeah, you better believe I went there!)
You had me at Patsy Walker: Deadpool... but after that, it just got better. MK, I don't use the word "genius" lightly, so instead I'll use the word "chrysanthemum". Bloody brilliant.
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