Friday, February 17, 2012

Black Manta - The Man Comes Around - Dan Hill

Page One

Three small-ish panels run across the top of the page with the rest taken up by a single, large image (Panel 1.4).

1.1
CLOSE UP on BLACK MANTA. He’s somewhere deep underwater, bubbles trailing behind him. The red eyepieces on his mask glow, cutting a swathe through the murky depths.

BLACK MANTA CAPTION: Perfect, mechanical death.

1.2
CUT TO a TIGHT SHOT on an ATLANTEAN GUARD somewhere on the fringes of Atlantean territory.

He peers towards CAMERA, into the distance.

What is that?

BLACK MANTA CAPTION: Ancient and untouched.

1.3
FIXED PANEL. Bubbles shoot from the guards mouth as he cries out in shock.

BLACK MANTA CAPTION: They will not bend to your will.

1.4
LARGE PANEL. From the guards POV we can see a seventy foot Megalodon approaching (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Megalodon), it’s jaws open, an abyss of terror and pain. Sitting atop it is Black Manta, his red eyepieces still glowing.

Behind the Megalodon, through the murk, we can make out more dark shapes approaching.

BLACK MANTA CAPTION: You are not the master of all you survey.

BLACK MANTA CAPTION: King of Atlantis, son of Arthur Curry, we are coming for you.

5 comments:

  1. For panel 4 alone this page is gold. Big bold action moment that makes for a great opening hook of an issue. This would be so much fun to read more of. What more do you need to do as a writer.

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  2. Megalodon's are always a good decision. I'll echo Shaun's feedback here in that this is a great way to kick off an issue - especially if you cut to some other scenes right afterwards, leaving the reader wanting to know what's going on.

    My only nitpick would be that the formatting is a little wonky at times on this guy. I'll admit to having to read through the script a few times to understand exactly what was going on. However, once that understand's achieved, it's worth the effort.

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  3. Megalodons scare the heck outta me, so the idea of a supervillain with one really strikes a chord.

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  4. Apologies about the formatting. I've started writing my TB entries on Google Docs and therefore can't use the same format I use usually. I've tried to ape the Snyder format and it didn't really translate across when I copied and pasted it over to Blogger. Silly words.

    @J.D Me too! The idea (as far fetched as it may be) that some of these things MAY still be alive. . . down there. . . in those dark and murky depths. Chilling.

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  5. I love the script here. Very dramatic, giving the character a lot more weight than we usually see.

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