PAGE 1.
5 PANELS.
1. A run down bar at the side of a desert
road. Motorcycles are parked up outside. We are looking straight on at it.
CROOK (FROM
INSIDE THE BAR) 1: Oh Shit
CROOK (FROM
INSIDE THE BAR) 2: No man, come on. What the fuck?
2. The body of the crook comes smashing
through the front window of the bar, glass going everywhere.
SFX:
KA-SSH
3. Ghost Rider walking out of the bar. He
has a shotgun in hand and a slight grin on his face. This is the ‘damn’ Ghost
Rider looks badass panel.
4. We look down over Ghost Riders spiked
shoulder as he points the shotgun towards the crook laid out on the ground.
Little sparks of electricity fizz from the fingertips of the crook as he raises
his arms to defend himself.
GHOST RIDER 1: A
little electricity power?
GHOST RIDER 2:
Is that all a souls worth these days?
GHOST RIDER 3:
You can explain yourself on the way.
5. A page wide panel. We are looking down
from a bird’s eye view. A desert road stretches form the left hand side right
across the centre of the panel to the right. The Ghost Rider is on his bike
speeding down the road, his flaming skull leaving a slight trail of smoking
flame behind it. Dragging alone the rear of the bike is the crook, attached to
the bike by a thick chain.
CROOK: Let me go man, I’ll do whatever you want.
GHOST RIDER 1:
Can’t do that I’m afraid.
GHOST RIDER 2:
You gotta date with a demon. Seems a two-bit cons soul ain’t much of an
investment. He wants his power back.
This
idea has been bouncing around in my head for a while. It’s a mini series idea
that tells a tale that would see the Ghost Rider on a countywide mission to
bring in crooks who had been selling their souls to other worldly demons for a
slice of demonic power. Ghost Rider playing the role of super powered sheriff.
Riding out to bring ‘em all in. It would play out like a dirty rock ‘n’ roll
superhero road movie.
I like the concept here and the last two panels sell it well and add a hook to draw the reader in.
ReplyDeleteOff to a solid start!
Hopefully I can only get better from here. Fingers crossed.
DeleteWelcome to the big leagues, Shaun. And an excellent start too. Though you might want to proofread before posting, or you'll feel the wrath of my penance stare.
ReplyDeleteThanks, glad you liked it Rol. If I was to say my mistakes are part of my writings charm, would you buy it? haha
DeleteGlad to have you aboard, Shaun. A fun page to start off with, and a really good concept behind it. I'd be way down with reading a Ghost Rider series following this storyline.
ReplyDeleteMaybe a little prudish on my part, but was the swearing entirely necessary? I can see how it sets the bad dude as a bad dude, but it struck me as a little much. Just my two cents.
Glad you liked the concept. I am actually working on something similar with a set of my own characters.
DeleteYour comment on the swearing is totally fair and right on the nose. It the thing I wrestled with most over the script. I wrote it with and without and in the end went with it, mainly down it only being a one pager and I had to maximize how quickly I could establish the sides the characters are on. Given a full issue I could use the space to establish character this instead of the language.
I hope you didn't mind to much mate. My next script is swear free.
Dude - pitch that idea. It's a great one and could be exactly what Ghost Rider needs to become noticeable again.
ReplyDeleteIf marvel want to give me the gig writing Ghost Rider I am more than happy to help out. Glad you liked it mate.
Delete