This page has two panels. However Panel 1 takes up almost the entire page, with Panel 2 a small panel down in the right hand corner of the page.
I have written the description of the panel below, with a caption from Jamie as he notices them. These all take place within the on panel – it shows Jamie working out what went on in the crime scene.
Each of the ‘clues’ that Jamie is looking at has a red circle around them.
1. A small one bedroom unit. Jamie Madrox stands to one side, looking around the room. The outline of a body is seen in the middle of the room.
To the left we see a window, broken.
CAPTION (Jamie)
Detective 101 and countless movies tell me that if a window is broken then that is the point of entry. Unless there are glass shards on the floor.
There are a few shards of glass on the floor below it, however they look somewhat different.
CAPTION (Jamie)
These shards don’t look the same. They’re thicker, more rounded. They didn’t come from that window, but were placed there to make us think that they were. Clever.
Next to Jamie we can just make out the open door. There is a key still in the door.
CAPTION (JAMIE)
The key still left in the lock confirms it. The victim knew the killer.
Splatters of blood can be seen on the nearby bed and up the wall.
CAPTION (JAMIE)
The blood splatters suggest a gunshot to the head, but beginning point is too neat. Too perfect.
There is a pool of blood near the outline of head.
CAPTION (Jamie)
The pool has been disturbed. Like someone has gathered it up after the kill, and flung it to make it look like a simple home invasion. Very tricky. They only question now is—
2. A close up of a confused Jamie Madrox.
CAPTION (Jamie)
Why did I do it?
That's a strong opening hook, Ben. It might have played better to Jamie's powers if you'd had a dupe examining each different aspect of the crime scene, then all of them asking the question in panel 2. Just an idea.
ReplyDeleteThat is actually an excellent idea Rol. Excellent.
ReplyDeleteDug the page Ben and your visual ideas for its layout sound really interesting. The final line is a great hook and would make for an interesting arc I feel. The captions are tight and have a nice gritty noir cop vibe to them which I love. The only thing that could have made it better is this idea Rol had. That would have been golden. Great page though.
ReplyDeleteI liked the idea and conceit of this page and it's executed nicely, especially with the visual aspect of the clues, etc.
ReplyDeleteAnother thing to add to Rol's great idea would be to maybe have a reveal at the end that the murder victim was also a dupe.
I really like the page you've built up here. Has a nice hard-boiled vibe to it, especially with Jamie going through the evidence piece by piece, reconstructing the crime (love the panel description on that, by the by). You grab the reader with a strong hand and do not let go.
ReplyDelete