Friday, February 10, 2012

The Warriors - Aggressive Expansion - Dan Hill

I had far, far too many ideas for this one. Anyway, here goes:

PAGE ONE

The page consists of a row of three panels, followed by a row of two panels before two page width panels finish off the page.

1.1
Night. An alleyway somewhere in Queens. COWBOY is being chased by several members of The Knockdowns. His feet kick up puddles as he runs.

SFX
Tek-Tek-Tek

1.2
Still in Queens-- a children's playground abandoned in the moonlight. REMBRANDT runs through the swing set, pushing the chair up as he goes.

Behind him, more members of The Knockdowns.

REMBRANDT
*hef-hef-hef*

1.3
A dimly lit street, cars either side.

COCHISE, his back to CAMERA, beckons with both hands towards The Knockdowns running towards him.

COCHISE
Come on!

1.4
A CRANE SHOT of Cowboy, Rembrandt and Cochise meeting at a crossroads in the centre of the panel.

Knockdown's approach from all sides except the road leading off the bottom of the panel.

Cowboy and Rembrandt pull Cochise away from the approaching Knockdowns, turning to leave via the only route left.

CAPTION (SWAN)
The proof of battle is action--

1.5
The LEADER of The Knockdowns puts an arm out to hold back his gang-mates.

CAPTION (SWAN)
--proof of words, debate--

1.6
WIDE PANEL: Facing CAMERA, standing in the street and taking up the width of the panel are Cochise, Cowboy, Rembrandt, SNOW, SWAN (the centre of the panel) and VERMIN.

Behind them, an army.

All dressed in The Warrior's colours and uniform.

Cochise, beckons with a single finger, smirking.

SWAN
No time for speeches now--

1.7
WIDE PANEL: A map of the boroughs of New York each coloured differently.

The dark red shade of Coney Island seeps over into Queens. Superimposed over the map is a CLOSE UP on Swan's face.

CAPTION (SWAN)
--it's time to fight.

6 comments:

  1. Really strong page. The opening three panels are tight and tense with cool visuals. Then you pull out huge for that crane shot which adds a nice sense of spectacle to the page. Then to end on the introduction of Snow and Swan two of the biggest characters and a full on army of warriors is big bold story telling and a great hook for the reader to want more.

    The only thing I wasn't totally sold on was that final panel, number 7. Also though I like the map and visual representation of the Warriors moving in on territory. I already felt the previous panel had inferred this. Plus for me panel 6 would have been slightly stronger to go out on, Id have moved the Last caption to the bottom corner of 6 and ended on it.

    Anyway thats just me. Loved the page though Dan. One of my favorites of yours.

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  2. I'm with Shaun on pretty much all of his points. This page is really tight, and works really well, but I feel like it would have been just a bit stronger if it ended on the sixth panel like Shaun suggests.

    That being said, the captions are awesome and set a solid tone. Really like the atmosphere you build here.

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  3. Shaun, it was an astute observation as I went back and forth several times deciding whether to include that last panel or not.

    I should have fallen back on "When in doubt, leave it out."

    Brevity, always brevity.

    I can't claim complete credit for the captions. I went with the Greek mercenary army metaphor laid out in the screenplay and used a quote from The Iliad.

    /nerd.

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  4. I concur with the last panel thing.

    What really threw me was that it was a screen play-esque script. For me, it made me envision the panels as shots - moving scenes, rather than stagnant panels telling a story. That threw me a bit.
    Was that your intention? It being based off a movie and all.

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  5. @Ben yeah, it was intentional. I've been re-reading a lot of Walter Hill scripts recently (including The Warriors) and I think it rubbed off on me.

    I did intend to try and write the script in a terse, Walter Hill style but I don't think I pulled it off.

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  6. It's a busy page which might have been made less so by dropping the final panel (then again, I've been reading a bunch of 80s comics lately when 7 panels per page was the norm and they do NOT look crowded). What I like about this page though is how much is captures that anarchic spirit of the movie. Great work, Dan.

    ReplyDelete

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