1. An elderly man stands behind a counter of a small town deli. He has receding white hair, glasses and wears a white top with black suspenders. He isn’t showing much emotion. We are looking at him as if he were talking to us.
OLD MAN
Can I help you, son?
2. A youthful man, mid twenties stands in front of the counter. We are seeing him from the old man’s point of view. He wears gang apparel, with a cocky demeanour. He is looking to his left, out the window as he speaks.
YOUTH
Yeah old man.
3. Back to the framing of Panel 1, with the youth grabbing the old man’s shirt and pulling him towards us. His other arms is unseen, however from the angle we can tell that is resides on the counter top. Again, this is from the youth’s point of view, so the arm grabbing the old man should look as if it is our own. The old man isn’t scared, just stonier faced than before.
YOUTH
You can give me everthin’ you got.
OLD MAN
I don’t have much-
4. Same framing as Panel 2, however the youth’s eyes are wide. He looks pale, and looks as if he is about to be sick. His mouth hangs open in disbelief.
OLD MAN (off panel)
-but what I do have-
5. A shot of the Youth’s hand on the counter. Out of it sticks a switchblade, having just been plunged into the youth’s hand by the old man.
OLD MAN (off panel)
-is yours.
Hey, look, me and Ben both had the same idea. Although Ben took it much further into the future. I dig.
ReplyDeleteNot that it was a particularly original idea. Wonder if anyone else will take the easy way out and do Future Warriors pages, rather than the harder option - trying to write something that fits in back in the day.
Cool page Ben. I totally love the first person perspective layout of the whole thing, and the final panel is pretty damn killer.
ReplyDeleteWhilst this took a similar approach to Rol's page I think the execution was different enough.
ReplyDeleteGreat last panel. The page could go either way (with the younger character being initiated into a gang, etc) and then that last panel gives it a nice twist.
Loved this page.
ReplyDeleteIt has such an innocuous beginning, and you not only ramp things up real quick, you completely play on (at least my) reader expectations, flipping the situation from what you might expect. The sudden brutality is a shocker, but it works really well.
Fantastic.