Friday, March 30, 2012

Black Widow – In The Hall Of The Mountain King – Shaun Richens.


1. HAWKEYE is on his knees in front of LOKI arrows lie all around his feet. HAWKEYES bow broken in two lies at his side. LOKI looks down on him a hand on his shoulder.

         LOKI 1: You showed courage boy.

         LOKI 2: Not that it is worth much.

2. We are looking down the barrel of a gun from the shooters point of view. LOKI is the target in the sights.

3. Close up on LOKI an angry frown on his face. The first time he has shown any anger all issue.

LOKI: You think to kill me with your mortal weapons women? You insult me just as your companion did. At least his weapon took some skill to wield.

4. BLACK WIDOW holding her pistol out in front of her faces down the god known as LOKI. Shots are fired.

         SFX: P-TUFF. P-TUFF. (Gun shot)

5. Bullets crushed and spent now lay at LOKI’s feet along with the arrows.

         LOKI: HAHA. HAHA.

6. A page wide panel. BLACK WIDOW has thrown her gun to the floor and now leaps and back flips her way towards LOKI she is swift and graceful any normal foe would never be able to stop her approach and avoid her attack. LOKI is not a normal foe however.

7. LOKI holds BLACK WIDOW by the throat her feet clearly off the ground. Her hands pull at his fingers trying to loosen his powerful grip. Her eyes closed, pain all across her face.

         LOKI 1: Your spirit is strong.
         LOKI 2: Your neck less so little one. 


  1. Solid page but I do have some reservations about it.

    Panel 4 needs a proofread, or some punctuation.

    Also, with the other scripts from this series so far you got a sense of what made each character cool or interesting. I didn't feel it as much with this script.

    I think Natasha is a hard character for some to get a hold on. I for one didn't really feel like I found an 'in' for her.

  2. I like the page. It has some solid action and really shows off how badass Loki is here.

    However, a bit of proofreading would have helped the readability. The missing punctuation and some unclear sentences hurt the overall experience. Not trying to get down on you, Shaun, just trying to offer some constructive criticism.

  3. Thanks for the feedback guys, it is always good to hear your thoughts, good or bad, whatever it really does all help. Thanks again.

  4. Man, Loki is really kicking their collective butt. I do hope they come back, or this story has just been one huge "isn't Loki cool?" thing... which is fine for Loki, but doesn't really shine much attention on the other losers. ;-)


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