Monday, March 5, 2012

Nick Fury – Some Assembly Required, Page 1 - Ben Rosenthal


1. Nick Fury stands in a control room, watching four monitors. We can only see the back of them, and as such cannot see what Fury sees. He has a deep look of concern on his face.


I don’t even understand how this is happening. But it is.

2. This is one large panel showing all of the monitors that Fury is watching. They are separate panels, but make up one whole picture at the same time. We are looking at these from behind Fury as he studies them, trying to figure out the next move.

2 a. We see the first of the four monitors. It shows a beat up Hawkeye leaning against a crumbled wall. In his right hand he holds his bow. His left arm is obviously dislocated.


The Avengers were assembled to be this planet’s protectors. That’s what I told them, but they know the truth.

2 b. The second monitor shows the Black Widow being knocked back by an unseen force.


They’re the last line of defence.

2 c. The third monitor shows the Hulk bent over in pain, holding his head.


I’m not sure how they can be expected to defend –

2 d. The screen shows Loki, in the middle of rubble that was Times Square. He has a wicked smile on his face.


- If they don’t have their weapons.

This is a battle I do not think we can win.


  1. Ben great opener to your story. You really hook me in as the reader with that last panel. Also I love the cheesy pun like title (I already told you I was thinking of using it.)

    Cannot wait for next weeks page mate.

  2. Uh, you win The Avengers for that title. I'm jealous that you got to it first.

    I'm also jealous that your opener reads so well. Fury's captions are spot on, slowly building to the kicker at the end. I can't wait for the rest of this one.

  3. Solid page that builds to a good page turn. Captions are on the money and the panel count is just right too.

    Nice idea as well regarding the Avengers without their weapons, etc.

    This would work as an effective opener/lead in.

  4. Thanks guys.

    SO no one piked up the Star Wars quote. Ok, it's a bad one, but I slipped it in there anyway.


Feedback is what every good writer wants and needs, so please provide it in the white box below
If you want to play along at home, feel free to put your scripts under the Why? post for the week.