Page 1
Four rows of panels. The first, third, and fourth rows are each made up of two equal-sized panels. The second row is a single panel that stretches the page. It can also be a little shorter than the others, which are all of the same height.
1 – Three men stand facing the reader, shot from the waist up. They are all SHIELD Agents, and they are all holding guns at the ready. The Agent in the middle is aiming a pistol with both hands, while the Agents to either side of him have much larger – and deadlier-looking – weapons. They wear serious expressions; they mean business.
MIDDLE AGENT: We can't let you do this, sir.
2 – A shot of Nick Fury standing at a console filled with controls. It more or less wraps a U around him and hides his body below the waist. He is working with the console before him and doesn't even look up at his would-be assailants.
NICK FURY: Excuse me?
3 – Side-shot. You can see that the four men stand in the bridge of the Helicarrier, with Fury to one side and the three SHIELD Agents aiming their guns at him opposite. There's no one else in the room. Of note: the bank of control consoles that Nick Fury is standing at is actually on a slightly higher level than the SHIELD Agents, who stand below aiming their guns up, a situation that takes a bit of the menace out of their threat. Nick Fury still hasn't looked up.
MIDDLE AGENT: We know what you're planning, and for the sake of the world, we can't let you do it.
4 – A shot from behind the Agents. Nick Fury is walking towards them, going down the short staircase to be at the same level as they are. He looks bemused. If he's worried, he's definitely not showing it (he's not worried). The Agents' bodies and positioning once again obscures Nick Fury's body below the waist.
NICK FURY (1): Son, I've been putting a stop to superpowered megalomaniacs, alien invasions, and all manner of cataclysmic nonsense since before you were in diapers.
NICK FURY (2): Do you really think that any of you can stop me from doing anything that I want to do?
5 – Switch back to a similar shot from the first panel, but their determined looks are gone. In their place, it is clear that the Agents are starting to doubt themselves. They look towards each other for support, but find none. No dialogue.
6 – Same shot, but the Agents have lowered their guns. A mixture of defeat and relief is written across their faces. They look down in shame and embarrassment.
MIDDLE AGENT (whispers): No, sir.
NICK FURY (off-panel) (1): That's better.
NICK FURY (off-panel) (2): Besides, this isn't the end of the world.
7 – Nick Fury has walked past the Agents. The bodies of two of the Agents frame the shot. Nick Fury walks towards the door, not looking back at the Agents / reader. This is the first full body shot of Nick Fury that we've gotten, and while he's wearing his signature SHIELD top, he's actually been wearing a swimsuit the whole time.
NICK FURY: It's a well-deserved vacation.
Nice zig zag.
ReplyDeleteYou build the page nicely, set a mood, then pull the rug from under the reader in the last panel and get a laugh at the same time.
:D
As a humorous script, I love it. I laughed at the final panel, and the more I think about it, the more I like the idea of how it's the boss who wants to take a vacation but being told he can't rather than the boss not wanting to take a vacation but being told he has to. Sounds like it could be the basis for a great one-shot or miniseries.
ReplyDeleteGrant truly great page. It is hard to pull off a one page reveal joke type of thing and this works so well. The build up is tense and played so straight that the last panel gets a real laugh. Then the more I think about the premise of the joke is actually an interesting character point to make about a man who has so much power. Great stuff mate.
ReplyDeleteHa! Nice.
ReplyDeleteMy only critique would be that it is a little cramped, and you could have possibly merged some of the panels together to cut down on page count - even possibly ditching Panel 6. But other than that, great page.
I didn't see the gag coming at all and it made me smile. For some reason, I saw this as George Clooney playing Fury.
ReplyDelete