The Lizard - Hurt - Ben Rosenthal

These can be drawn however you see fit, however Panels 5-7 would be best to be all of the same size and on the same line.

1. A dark tunnel in the sewers under New York.  In the background we can see a shadowed figure lying on the ground. A white lab coat covers the sleeping figure.

2. Same as Panel 1, but tighter on the sleeping figure.

3.  A frightened and unshaven Curt Conners has woken with horror in his eyes.  He is in a mess, both physically and emotionally.

CURT

NO!

4.  Curt is looking down at his hands.  Besides his lab coat, he is naked.  Tears are beginning to flow down his cheeks.

CURT

All those people.

Billy....

5. A close up of Curt’s eye, tear visible.

CURT

My son.

6. Same as panel 5, however the pupil of the eye has transformed into that of The Lizard.  There is still a human face on display, however.

7.  Same framing as the above two panels, however Curt is now The Lizard.

THE LIZARD

Hungry.

Why The Lizard?

Put simply – cos we’ve already done Spidey.

It was decided long ago in the Thought Balloon cave that whenever a movie came out, we would focus on that character on opening week.  Some of you may have realised this with the recent Avengerthon leading up to The Avengers cinematic release.

However, there comes a time when a movie is released where we have already tackled the main character.  I believe with the release of ‘The Amazing Spider-Man’, this is the first of those times.  Instead of tackling Spidey again, we decided that the Thought Balloons gang would instead tackle the Big Bad of the new film: The Lizard.

Now for a very brief introduction for those of you who do not know of the Lizard – Dr Curt Conners is a brilliant scientist with only one arm. He wants two. He injects himself with a lizard serum to grow the other arm back. It does, but also turns him into a giant lizard.  So he refers to himself as The Lizard.  After many battles with Spider-Man, Curt Conner’s wife dies, he falls into despair and becomes estranged from his son. The Lizard takes over as the primary personality and eats people, including Curt’s son.  All while wearing his white lab coat. Curt is gone forever, and only The Lizard remains.

Hey, I said it was brief.

So now it is up to my fellow tenured writers to let their animalistic (writing) urges go and script a page for one of Spidey’s oldest foes. Don’t forget, YOU TOO can submit a script! Simply post your page of single script in the section below and have your words read by REAL people!

Jonah Hex - Massacre - R.A. Wonsowski (the American Zombie)

Setting:  Interior, old West saloon.  Panels 1 -4 are from the same p.o.v., as if we're watching from halfway up a flight of stairs.  Tables and chairs upended and scattered all over the floor.  Note:  NO SOUND EFFECTS.

Panel 1 - An older JONAH HEX, his Confederate army uniform covered by a grey duster, is surrounded by a weasely looking cowboy, dressed relatively well with thick, round spectacles, and five rough-looking outlaws, one grabbing a rifle.  Hatless, HEX's mane of white hair whipping around behind him, his eyes following his right throwing hand.  The outlaw closest to us rocks his head back toward us, a Bowie knife sticking out of his forehead.  HEX's left hand breaks a whiskey bottle over the edge of the bar.  The cowboy behind him is raising a wooden chair over his head, in the hopes of smashing it over HEX's head.

NO COPY

Panel 2 - HEX twists and ducks his body, left hand driving the broken bottle into the throat of the cowboy with the chair raised, arterial spray shooting upwards.  HEX's right hand grips the handle of his holstered Navy Colt 5-round, long-barreled revolver:



Another gunman has drawn his own weather-worn pistol, and the weasel is hiding behind two more beefier cowboys, one rolling up his sleeves, the other cocking his swing-lever-action rifle:



NO COPY

Panel 3 - HEX draws and shoots the pistolero in the eye, his brains exploding out the back of his head.  The one with rolled-up sleeves goes into a wrestler's crouch, ducking under the gore.  The weasel pulls on the rifleman's shoulder, the rifleman swinging his shoulder, and rifle, away from the weasel, aimed toward the ceiling.  (The chair has fallen with the wielder.)

NO COPY

Panel 4 - HEX aims, shoots the crouching wrestler in the teeth.  The weasel falls backwards to the floor, as the other cowboy lowers his rifle, aiming at HEX.

NO COPY

Panel 5 - HEX turns so his torso is facing us.  As the rifleman's shot misses, crossing HEX's midsection, HEX returns fire, slamming the rifleman in the gut.

NO COPY

Panel 6 - HEX nonchalantly tosses his revolver to the side, toward the weasel, as he bends over to pick up the rifle.  HEX spits through his teeth.

HEX:  (small font) ...taken dumps scarier than y'all...

Panel 7 - HEX takes a military rifleman's stance, his bulging eye sighting down the long barrel, cocking the rifle from the swing stock, aiming at the weasel, who is looking up at him in fear, and has pissed himself.  The weasel's hand is fumbling behind him, his right hand's fingers on HEX's revolver handle.

HEX:  (small font) That's right, ya little dungtick...

HEX:  (return to normal-sized font) Fill your hand, Judge.

Panel 8 - HEX fires a rifle blast, the weasel's hand explodes, his fingers flying in all directions, the revolver falling from the stump.

HEX:  Gavelin' lefty, now...

END PAGE

Jonah Hex and the Frontier Prometheus - Niel Jacoby

This takes place before Hex was given the Mark Of The Demon.

Panel 1: Hex and the Doctor are in the front of a stagecoach in the pouring rain. Hex is shotgun, and the Doctor is at the reins. The Doctor is old and short, but still able-bodied enough.

Caption: EARLY IN HEX'S LIFE AS A HAND FOR HIRE, THOUGH BEFORE HIS TAKING OF THE BOUNTY-HUNTING TRADE OR HIS STINT IN THE CONFEDERATE ARMY, HE FOUND HIMSELF IN THE UNENVIABLE POSITION OF ESCORTING A CERTAIN DOCTOR TO HIS NEWLY-PURCHASED LABORATORY IN THE WASHINGTON TERRITORY, WHERE, UNBEKNOWNST TO JONAH, THE DOCTOR WOULD CONTINUE THE EXPERIMENTS THAT LED TO HIS BEING CHASED FROM HIS NATIVE LAND.

Caption: WASHINGTON TERRITORY, JANUARY 1854

Hex: WHAT I CAN'T QUITE UNDERSTAND IS WHY, AFTER THE TROUBLE YOUR LINE OF WORK BROUGHT YOU BACK IN... AH, WHEREVER THE HECK IT WAS--

Doctor: SWITZERLAND.

Panel 2: Close on Jonah. He's a little peeved at being corrected.

Hex: ...THANKS.

Hex: --BACK IN SWITZERLAND, WHY, AFTER ALL THAT, YOU WOULD BOTHER COMING HALFWAY ACROSS THE GLOBE TO START UP ON IT AGAIN.

Panel 3: Close on the Doctor's face: determined, intense, with a gleam in his eye that could be madness or the thrill of scientific discovery.

Doctor: MY YOUNG COMPANION, THE MARCH OF PROGRESS DOES NOT HALT FOR THE SIMPLE-MINDED, FOR THE BRAYING CROWDS, FOR THOSE WHO LET THE FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN SHROUD THEM FROM THE BRILLIANT GLEAM OF POSSIBILITY!

Doctor: NO, THIS CANNOT BE STOPPED, AS THE SEAS CANNOT BE ABSORBED BY THE MAN WHO STICKS IN HIS FACE AND DRINKS DEEPLY, AS THE WINDS CANNOT BE DRIVEN OFF BY THE GOSSAMER THREADS THAT CALL THEMSELVES HAUTE COUTURE IN THIS BACKWARD, UNCULTURED BURROW, AND AS THE MOVEMENT OF THE EARTH CANNOT BE CONTROLLED BY SOME CONFOUNDED CONSTABLE NO MATTER HOW HARD HE SWINGS HIS CUDGEL!

Panel 4: Jonah, seemingly unfazed and even bored, gazes ahead into the rain.

Hex: AND OF COURSE, AN... UNCULTURED YOUTH SUCH AS ME COULD NOT GRASP THE SCOPE OF THIS ASTOUNDING...

Inset panel: Hex is searching for a word.

Hex: THING... THAT YOU'VE DEVOTED YOUR LIFE TO STUDYING?

Panel 5: The Doctor guffaws, head thrown to the raining sky.

Doctor: HA! AS I LEARNED LONG AGO, THE WORLD WILL NOT BE READY FOR MY CREATION UNTIL SUCH TIME AS I FORCE THEM TO ACCEPT ITS UNDENIABLE REALITY!

Inset panel: Close on Hex glaring at the doctor. Hex is not pleased. He's more than a little tired of the Doctor.

Hex: ...THAT'S A NO, I WOULD ASSUME.

Panel 6: Half-page. The stagecoach(should be small in comparison to its surroundings) drives through the pouring rain of a dark night lit only by a single, searing strike of lightning. Make it look haunting, desolate.


Doctor: IF IT NEEDS TO BE PUT INTO SUCH... ROUGH TERMS, I SUPPOSE A "NO" WOULD SUFFICE.

Doctor(Muttered): ALSO, IT'S 'SUCH AS I'. BUT I DIGRESS.


Caption: AND WITH THAT, THE TIME FOR CONVERSATION HAS CEASED, AS THE ONLY ACTION REMAINING IS TO CARRY EVER FORWARD TO THE ODD AND OMINOUS FATE THAT AWAITS...

TITLE: JONAH HEX AND THE FRONTIER PROMETHEUS

Jonah Hex – Jonah Hex and the Legacy of Zorro – MK Stangeland Jr.

(JONAH HEX has traveled out to the far west hunting the bounty of a man carrying the identity of ‘Zorro’. After actually meeting the man and agreeing to help rather than hunt him, the both of them have ninjas sent after them by the people who Hex was originally working for.)

(7 Panels)

Panel 1: Panel is behind ZORRO and JONAH HEX as they ride on horseback away from the panel. They look behind them to see their pursuers.

SFX: tha-ra-dum-tha-ra-dum-tha-ra-dum

Panel 2: Image at the panel should be rotated at a slight angle. We see the people chasing ZORRO and JONAH HEX – it’s roughly a dozen ninjas riding on horseback.

These ninjas, however, are wearing slightly modified outfits that are better suited for the hotter climate of California. Their costumes are white instead of black, the very top of their heads are exposed to let their hair hang out (though their masks still cover their faces), and their sleeves are absent from their shoulder to their upper forearm.

Two of the ninjas are seen reloading crossbows, one is retrieving Shuriken ninja stars, and the rest are drawing ninja swords.

SFX: (Spread out across the panel amongst the ninjas who are drawing their swords) Sh-ring! Shring! shhhhha-rING! shring! sha-ring!

SFX: tha-ra-dum-tha-ra-dum-tha-ra-dum-tha-ra-dum-tha-ra-dum

Panel 3: ZORRO and JONAH HEX look to each other.

ZORRO: Not friends of yours, I presume?

JONAH HEX: I was goin’ to ask you the same thing.

SFX: tha-ra-dum-tha-ra-dum

Panel 4: JONAH HEX pulls out a revolver and holds it aimed skyward.

JONAH HEX: We better loose these guys.

SFX: tha-ra-dum-tha-ra-dum

Panel 5: ZORRO pulls out his Rapier and holds it skyward. He has a slightly crazy look of glee on his face.

ZORRO: Ah! But where would be the fun in that?!

SFX: Shhhha-HING!

SFX: tha-ra-dum-tha-ra-dum

Panel 6: ZORRO takes his horse into a tight turn as he turns to face the enemy head on. His sword points downwards and the tip of it just dips into the ground as he goes.

JONAH HEX turns and looks after ZORRO with a look of shocked surprise.

ZORRO: HeYAH!

SFX: tha-ra-dum-tha-ra-dum

Panel 7: JONAH HEX has brought his gun arm down to have both hands in control of his horse. He takes it into a turn to try to follow after ZORRO.

JONAH HEX: (smaller font and/or type size to emphasize that HEX is mostly muttering this under his breath.) Crazy old man…

SFX: tha-ra-dum-tha-ra-dum

END PAGE

Jonah Hex- Dead Man's Hand- Dan Hill

I have a fairly limited experience of the character having only read the first trade of the Palmiotti/Gray run and a few odd issues (including some of the old school stuff) here and there. 


This, then, is my take on events that played out in Jonah Hex Spectacular.


PAGE TWENTY TWO: A tier of two panels followed by a wide panel and a final tier of two panels.

Panel One

We OPEN on a CLOSE UP on a pair of SPECTACLES as they're being cleaned by a pair of weathered looking hands holding a grimy, frayed handkerchief.

In the reflection of the spectacles lenses we can see a vision of JONAH HEX in his prime, guns blazing, mouth snarling. 


NB: All of Jonah's captions use a handwritten style font, as if they are taken from a journal or manuscript.
CAPTION (JONAH):  No, I'm not afraid of dyin'. 


CAPTION (JONAH): It's been thirty eight years since I got this face.

CAPTION (JONAH):  Thirty eight years since I killed a man out of desperation.

Panel Two

PAN slightly to the hands-- weathered but strong, dirt and oil under the nails.

CAPTION (JONAH):  Killed a lot of folk since.

Panel Three: Wide panel

CUT TO a MEDIUM CLOSE UP on an elderly JONAH HEX (he's in his mid sixties now) sitting at a wooden round table in a Cheyenne saloon (the same one featured in Jonah Hex Spectacular).

Jonah continues to clean his spectacles, a hand of cards face down on the table in front of him.

A number of other players are seated around the table, all with their own cards.

CAPTION (JONAH):  Loved and lost.

CAPTION (JONAH):  Thirty eight years with death at my side.  

Panel Four

CUT TO a tight shot of Jonah putting his spectacles back on.

CAPTION (JONAH):  So, when I see him comin' for me...

Panel Five: Fixed panel

Jonah looks up slightly, squinting to focus. A man's SHADOW has fallen across him.

CAPTION (JONAH):  ...I'll meet him with a smile and say "What took you so damn long?"


CAPTION: Excerpt from an unpublished manuscript found in Laramie, Wyoming. 


CAPTION: Author unknown.

Jonah Hex - Straight From the Horse's Mouth - Grant McLaughlin

1 – Night time. An establishing shot in front of large farmstead. A sign above the entrance road reads “MacDougall Farm”. There's a regular looking farmhouse. One of the lights is on. People can be seen within. Without, there are two men walking towards the house.

MAN 1: Long ride today.

CAPTION: I used to run with some pretty shady folk. Didn't think much of it.

2 – The “camera” has moved closer to the house, as have the two men. However, the panel isn't centred on the house, it's actually off to the side a bit. A barn is visible beyond it.

MAN 2: Worth it for that stallion.

CAPTION: Wasn't too great of a varmint myself.

3 – The camera has continued beyond the house, now centred squarely on said barn.

CAPTION: All that changed the day I found myself on the wrong side of Jonah Hex.

4 – Interior of the barn. A group of animals (cows, chickens, pigs, horses, etc.) crowd around a certain horse with some scar marks around its front legs (hint: it's the one you're thinking of). They all look quite astounded. The horse looks weary (or as weary as a horse can). The following word balloons don't have to be associated with any particular animal, it's mostly to represent how excited they are about this story.

ANIMAL 1: You don't say!

ANIMAL 2: What happened?

ANIMAL 3: What did he do to you?

5 – Close-up of the horse. He still looks weary, maybe even doubtful. No dialogue.

6 – Same panel as panel 5.

HORSE: You wouldn't believe me if I told you.

Jonah Hex - Elsewhere - Ben Rosenthal

1. A classic Western Backdrop.  I the middle of the dirt street two men stand, ready to draw their guns and fire at each other. This panel shows the leg, gun in its holster of an unknown man in the fore ground, finger twitching to grab his gun.  In the background we see Jonah Hex in a similar position.


2.  A close up of Jonah Hex.

JONAH
I said draw!



3. A close up of the unknown man.  He is well dressed and of good breeding. He looks way too clean for someone living in the Wild West. His hat covers his face.

MAN
And I said go ahead.



4. A long panel showing Jonah firing, and the mystery man standing there, bullets bouncing off him.



5. A close up of Johah, looking shocked.

JOHAH
What the hell?



6. A close up of the well dressed man's face. He has looked up, revealing his face. It is that of Clark Kent, sans glasses.

CLARK
I'm what you may call a Super, man.

Jonah Hex - $56.29 - J.D. Coughlan

SET-UP: After a meagre bounty, Hex is sent to the bank to collect his reward; $56.29. But four armed robbers burst in. Two clear out the cash, two watch the crowd. Hex has suddenly appeared behind one.


Panel 1: Hex standing, blank-faced, behind one of the robbers, who is startled by Hex's sudden announcement.

HEX: Fifty-six dollars, twenty-nine cents.

ROBBER 1: JESUS!

Panel 2: Robber 1 aims his shotgun right in Hex's face. Hex is calm, Robber 1 is panicked.

ROBBER 1: You lookin' to get blown away, ya ugly sumbitch?

Panel 3: Close on Hex. Still perfectly calm, despite the shotgun barrel.

HEX: No. I'm lookin' for ma money.

HEX: Fifty-six dollars and twenty-nine cents.

HEX: For a bounty unrelated to this here circus show. I'll take it and I'll leave. After which, if anyone wants to hire me to bring in you criminal geniuses, then that's a different story. For now, you and me only got one problem.

Panel 4: Robber 1 looks over his shoulder at Robber 2 (also guarding the crowd) in the background. Hex is partly visible in the foreground, his back to us.

ROBBER 2: Charlie, what the hell's goin' on over there?

ROBBER 1: Dammit, Lou! No nam--!

Panel 5: Same placements as Panel 4, this time Hex is grabbing the shotgun in the middle, driving the butt into Robber 1's face, while simultaneously drawing his own pistol to shoot Robber 2 in the background.

ROBBER 1: ZKK!

SFX (PISTOL): BLAM

ROBBER 2: AAAH!

Panel 6: Different vantage point. The remaining two robbers come out from the vault with bags of cash. Hex has the shotgun trained on them with his pistol pointed at Robber 1 (on the floor, not unconscious; out of frame if necessary).

HEX: Fifty-six dollars, twenty-nine cents.

END OF PAGE

Why Jonah Hex?

For my first Thought Balloons pick, I thought I should go with my favourite character in all comics -- and one of my favourite characters in any medium. Plus, I love a good, ol' fashioned western.


Jonah Hex has a complicated history. Born in the Old West, Jonah's mother ran off when he was just a young 'un, leaving him in the "care" of his abusive, alcoholic father. His father would go on to sell Jonah to a tribe of Apache for a small price. Originally treated as a mere slave, Hex would eventually win the favour of the tribe by saving the life of their chief. But it didn't last. Hex was framed by a jealous rival and cast out. In his youthful anger, he joined up with the Confederacy during the Civil War, a decision that would eventually weigh heavily on his shoulders, thus the reason he wears his grey uniform at all times -- a badge of guilt. With a gruesomely scarred face and a talent only for killing, Hex became a bounty hunter after the war.


Then there was a brief period where Hex was sent to a post-apocalyptic future. He's also faced some supernatural enemies in his time, and teamed up with Amadeus Arkham to catch a serial killer, but it's the grizzly western genre that suits the man best; like a snake in the desert.


But it is not this past, intricate though it may be, that makes Hex such a compelling character. Nobody can quite say what it is. Maybe it's the fact he so rarely speaks of said past, or indeed, anything, unlike most characters who exposit all over the place. Maybe it's the fact that despite being a cold-blooded killer, he maintains a strict, personal code of honour. Maybe it's because he's a bastard's bastard who purposefully goes out of his way to minimise his involvement with people, yet occasionally gives us glimpses of a better man underneath with acts of humble kindness. Maybe it's because he once tackled a horse.

Who knows? I remain forever in awe of the man that is Jonah Woodson Hex, and I hope he never changes for the better.

P.S.: Hex's co-creator, the great artist Tony DeZuniga, passed away last month, and while I was always going to pick Hex, this could also serve as a late tribute.

P.P.S.: Anyone who invokes the terrible, terrible movie will be invited to throw down hot lead at high noon.

Skullkickers - The Musical! - R.A. Wonsowski (the American Zombie)

Panel 1 - BALDY and SHORTY are running left to right full bore across the barren plains of Leng, chased by CTHULHU.

SFX:  (of their running) HPL-HPL-HPL-HPL

Panel 2 - BALDY, SHORTY, and CTHULHU skidding on their heels to a stop.

SFX:  SKID-D-D!

Panels 3 to 6 - Artist's choice.  BALDY, SHORTY, and CTHULHU dancing in perfect synchronization, in cartoony exaggeration, looking towards the reader as if sitting in the audience.  Copy is as follows:

Panel 3 -

Caption:  (sung to the melody of "Hakuna Matata" from The Lion King)

BALDY & SHORTY:  Cthulhu f'thagn!  What a won-der-ful phrase!

Panel 4 -

BALDY & SHORTY:  Cthulhu f'thagn!  He's R'lyeh set in his ways!

Panel 5 -

BALDY & SHORTY:  We'll be batshit insane - For the rest of our days!

Panel 6 -

BALDY & SHORTY:  It's us two pleasant sods - Against an Elder God...

Panel 7 -  Big finish!  All step toward us, giving us the jazz hands, BALDY and SHORTY enthusiastic.  CTHULHU is smiling beneath his cepholapod tentacles.

ALL:  Cthulhu f-tha-gn!!

Skullkickers: A Job Is A Job - Niel Jacoby

Main Panel 1: Baldy and Shorty are sitting at a tavern table, startled by the sack of copper coins that is landing forcefully on said table.

Mysterious Man: I'VE HEARD TALES OF TWO MEN WHO'LL KILL ANYTHING FOR 2 COPPER PIECES.

Main Panel 2: We see a shot from below, about the height of the seated Baldy and Shorty, of the mysterious man, who's hit by the sun going through the tavern doors such that you can't see much more than a silhouette. He's tall and somewhat gangly, and the flight suit he wears is a little baggy. Besides the silhouette, which would have him doffing his helmet, we should see a glint off the watch on his left wrist.

Mysterious Man: THAT ABOUT ENOUGH COPPER TO MANAGE... OH, 7 OR SO GIANTS?

Inset Panel: Baldy looks closely at one of the copper coins, revealed to be an American penny dated 1956.

Baldy: CAN'T SAY I'VE SEEN THIS MARK ON ANY COPPER COIN I'VE COME ACROSS.

Main Panel 3: We see the mysterious man, now visible, panicked and desperate, talking to Baldy and Shorty while leaning on the table, which still has the large sack of pennies on it. His flight suit is tattered, and his facial hair suggests he's been wandering this medieval world for at least a week or 2.

Mysterious Man: WELL. I COULDN'T SAY I'VE SEEN A HORDE OF GIANTS IN ANY MEADOW I'VE COME ACROSS BEFORE THIS WEEK.

Mysterious Man: THE ONLY THING I KNOW FOR SURE RIGHT NOW IS THAT THOSE COINS ARE REAL COPPER!

Inset Panel: The mysterious man grins nervously.

Mysterious Man...OR AT LEAST THE CLOSEST THING TO COPPER I HAVE ON ME RIGHT NOW.

Main Panel 4: Baldy looks at Shorty expectantly, while Shorty holds one of the pennies.

Baldy: WELL?

Baldy: TEST THE COIN.

Inset panel: Shorty tries to bend the coin with his teeth. It does not bend.

Inset panel 2: Shorty puts the coin back in the sack.

Shorty: IT'S SOLID ENOUGH FOR ME.

Main panel 5: Baldy and Shorty get up from the table, holding their weapons.

Baldy & Shorty in Unison: WE'RE ON THE JOB!

Skullkickers - Those Who Fight Monsters - J.D. Coughlan

SET-UP: In order to infiltrate a village of monsters while searching for a damsel in distress, Shorty and Baldy disguise themselves as monsters. Here, they are about to enter the local monster tavern.


Panel 1: The tavern door is flung open, revealing Shorty and Baldy in their very poor costumes.

SFX (DOOR): FWOOM!

Panel 2: Wide shot. The other patrons (various hideous fantasy creatures) stare blankly at them.

SFX: CRICKETS!

SFX: PIN DROPPING!

Panel 3: Tight on Shorty, whispering out the side of his mouth to Baldy.

SHORTY: (Whispering) Leave this to me.

Panel 4: Shorty holds up his fist triumphantly.

SHORTY: RARRR!

Panel 5: Close-up of one of the monsters. Angry.

MONSTER: Hey! They're not monsters! Monsters don't say "Rarrr"!

Panel 6: Two-shot: Shorty and Baldy. They are tearing at their costumes and drawing their weapons.

SHORTY: Kraken crap.

END OF PAGE

Skullkickers – Pest Control – Shaun Richens.

ONE PAGE.

5 PANELS.

1. A piece of parchment is nailed to a wooden notice board. We are tight on the parchment so the reader can make out what is written on it.

Pest control needed.

A Giant Rat infestation troubles a Taverns cellar.

 A hundred gold pieces to whom ever clears them out.

Speak to Gif at The Sleeping Dragon Tavern if interested.

2. We have pulled back BALDY and SHORTY are looking at each other smiling. The notice hangs on the board in between them.

         NO COPY

3. SHORTY’s gloved hand pulls the notice down from the board. They are taking the job on.

         SFX

         FHHHHT

4. BALDY and SHORTY stand at the bar of THE SLEEPING DRAGON TAVERN. They are talking to the large fat, yet joyful looking bar keep He is cleaning a mead tankard with his dirty shirt corner.

         GIF 1

         Oh aye we been having a problem with them bloody giant rats.

         It’s always the way with these old taverns.

         GIF 2

         Shall I show you lads to the cellar then?

5. From behind BALDY and SHORTY we are looking up at the huge Bear sized Rat that stands before them. It has risen up on its back legs like a bear does. Its long pink rat-tail flails around wildly behind it. Its long front tooth hangs menacingly from its huge salivary jaw.

         SHORTY

         He's a big one.

         BALDY

         One? Didn't the notice say them?

         GIANT RAT

         Squeeekk.

Skullkickers – Sticks and Stones – MK Stangeland Jr.

(Beardy and Baldy are fighting a large stone humanoid golem monster thingy of some type – I’ll just call it a ‘Stone Man’ from here on out for simplicity.)

(6 Panels)

Panel 1: BEARDY strikes the back of the STONE MAN. The head of his AX breaks off from the impact.

SFX: (Ax impacting stone) thuk

SFX: (Ax breaking) THACK!

Panel 2: BEARDY looks at his broken ax handle

SFX: Momentary Surprise

Panel 3: STONE MAN turns it’s ‘head’ around to look at what just hit him.

SFX: Imminent Pain.

Panel 4: STONE MAN swings it’s arm and hits BEARDY. A BEARDY-shaped blur moves backwards from where BEARDY was previously standing.

SFX: TH-WUNK!

Panel 5: BALDY crouches behind a rock for cover. He’s doing something with a bunch of bullets and a pan, preparing to try to create a primitive makeshift bomb out of the bullets gunpowder. A BEARDY-shaped blur flies past the rock.

SFX: (BEARDY BLUR) YEAAAAAAAAH!

Panel 6: BALDY picks his head up in reaction to BEARDY flying by in the previous panel, but completely missing on what just happened.

BALDY: ?

END PAGE

Skullkickers- Body Swap Y'all - Dan Hill

I cheated slightly this week, cannibalising my entry for the Skullkickers competition that ran recently. It's a bit more on the nose than I'd have liked due to space constraints, but there we go.

PAGE ONE: Eight panels.

Panel One

We OPEN on a TIGHT SHOT of BALDY firing his GUN towards us.

We’re in a dank, dark cavern somewhere underground. The only source of light are a series of flaming torches mounted on the wall.

We can see some of SHORTY’s head slightly off panel to Baldy’s right.

SFX:  BLAM BLAM BLAM

SORCERER (CAPTION):  “Useless.”

Panel Two

CUT TO a tight shot of SKELETONS approaching the camera-- an undead army. They are all wearing bits of old armour-- a helmet, scraps of chainmail, etc and carrying rusty (but still VERY pointy) weapons.

The gunshots from Baldy’s gun all miss, hitting the cavern wall and ceiling.

SFX:  PTANG PTANG PTANG

SORCERER (CAPTION):  “Amateurs.”

Panel Three

CUT TO a TIGHT SHOT on SHORTY. Shorty is facing camera and looking at his AXE with an incredulous look on his face. 

BALDY:  ?

SORCERER (CAPTION):  “Who knew it would be this easy?”

Panel Four: Wide panel.

From Baldy and Shorty’s POV looking deeper into the cavern. Marching towards us is a large group of SKELETONS-- an undead army. They are all wearing bits of armour-- an old helmet, scraps of chainmail, etc.

In the centre of the panel, slightly behind the army is an EVIL SORCERER (TM). He wears a scarlet robe and hood and holds a STAFF made out of the bones of various creatures. The detail is intricate and disturbing. At the top of the staff is the symbol of Janus (http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_8625SG6CbkU/SyG7VQDXbOI/AAAAAAAAACw/LXSOdB36xm4/s320/janus_small.jpg).

SORCERER:  One simple body swap and your legendary skills fall apart.

SORCERER:  My army will claim the surface.  

Panel Five

CUT TO a TWO SHOT on Baldy and Shorty looking towards us, towards their impending doom. Baldy is on the left of the panel, Shorty on the right.

SORCERER (CAPTION):  “With the staff of Janus in my possession I am unstoppable.”

Panel Six: Fixed panel.

Baldy and Shorty glance at each other, mischievous smiles playing across their faces.

SORCERER (CAPTION):  “I will--”

SORCERER (CAPTION):  “Why are you smiling? Stop smiling.”

SORCERER (CAPTION):  “I command it!”

Panel Seven: Wide panel.  

ZOOM OUT slightly to show the pair throwing their respective weapons to each other, both ready to catch the other as they arc through the air.

Panel Eight: Fixed/Wide panel.

Baldy and Shorty both now have their respective weapons in their hands. Baldy (really Shorty) holds his trusty AXE and Shorty (really Baldy) aims his GUN towards us.

Both have now broken out into wide, toothy grins. 


Shit’s about to get real.

BALDY:  Better?

SHORTY:  Much.

BALDY:  Shall we?

Skullkickers - Fire and Brimstone - Ben Rosenthal

1.  A massive dragon breathes fire out the front of a castle.  It looks evil and menacing.

2.  The dragon has stopped breathing fire.  It is looking down at two lone figures standing in front of it – Baldy and Shorty.  Smoke comes out of the dragon’s nostrils and it glares at them menacingly.

3.  A shot of Baldy and Shorty staring up at the dragon.  The look slightly concerned at the size of the beast which stands before them.

4.  Same as Panel 3.

SHORTY

Shit.

Skullkickers - Taming Troubles - Grant McLaughlin

For context, this page would take place in the midst of a story where Shorty has come back to where ever he and Baldy reside with a giant, terrible, slimy toad-like monster that would roughly be between the size of a large cow and a small house.  Shorty calls said monster "Steve" and wants to keep it as a pet.  Baldy is somewhat leery of the proposition, but relents to give Shorty a try to tame it.  This page would be part of said taming.

1 - Shorty holds a book whose cover reads "An Oaf's Guide To Taming Pets".  There is a picture of a clueless looking dwarf (who shares a strong resemblance to Shorty) on the cover.  Shorty looks pensively at what's written within.

SHORTY (1): Lemme see...

SHORTY (2): Roll over!

2 - Steve the horrible toad monster sits there, doing nothing.  No dialogue.

3 - Shorty is a little surprised.  Not to be disappointed, he tries a change of tactics.

SHORTY (1): Oookay.  Mebbe a little much for ye.  How about...

SHORTY (2): Speak!

4 - Repeat panel 2.  Steve continues to do nothing.  No dialogue.

5 - Baldy comes in, looking over Shorty's shoulder at the book and pointing at a particular entry.  Shorty pushes him away, insisting he doesn't need any help.

BALDY: Try that one.

SHORTY: Shove off!  I don' need yu meddlin' in me hard work.  I can do this on me own.

6 - Turning back to his "pet", Shorty tries a third command, looking confident in the chances of success.

SHORTY: Stay!

7 - Repeat panel 2.  Steve continues to do nothing.  No dialogue.

8 - Shorty turns to Baldy, a smug smile on his face.

SHORTY: See?  I told y--

9 - Steve starts belching fire everywhere.  Shorty and Baldy duck down to get out of the way of the projectile flames.

SFX: Fire Belch!

Why Skullkickers?

I came into Skullkickers quite by accident.  As you may well know, I'm a pretty big Dinosaur Comics fan, and one fateful day - let's say August 19th, 2010 - Ryan North posted a link to an upcoming comic from his friend "Zub".  Well, you can bet that I followed that link, found a mighty promising preview, and proceeded to head down to my local comic book shop to ask them to add that title to my pull list.

Once the first issue came out, I discovered two important things.  Firstly, despite Mr. North's assertions, the series' wasn't called "Skull Kickers" but "Skullkickers" (an important difference, as I'm sure you can recognize).  And secondly, Skullkickers was all kinds of wonderful.

If you're unfamiliar, Skullkickers is an irreverent, D&D-esque fantasy series starring two mercenary mercenaries who go by the apropos nicknames of "Shorty" and "Baldy".  Shorty is the (short) dwarf and Baldy is the (bald) human.  Pretty simple stuff.  The series also happens to be one of my favourites.  It's got violence, it's got adventure, it's got humour, and like all of my favourite comic book things, it's got fun.  Also: some of the best comic book SFX around.

Can you tell which one is which?

Written by Jim Zub, drawn by Edwin Huang, coloured by Misty Coats, and published by Image Comics, Skullkickers just made it up to issue #15 this week, and there have been some pretty big revelations in the past two issues.  However, seeing as it's admittedly possible that not everyone has been reading the book (although I can't imagine why), I'd ask we try to keep spoilers in our scripts to a minimum, if possible.  Fortunately, that shouldn't be a problem, because these two characters are larger than life and lend themselves to all sorts of fun scenes and scenarios.

Should you somehow be one of those people who hasn't read any Skullkickers, I have just the remedy for you.  Zub et al are actually in the process of posting earlier issues of Skullkickers online for free!  They've been making pretty good progress on it, too, as I believe they are coming to the end of the second story arc. So if you're interested (and you should be!), you can start reading from issue #1 here.

I'm a real big fan of this book, and as always, I'm excited to see what our tenures and play-at-homers will make of it!  For anyone wanting to participate, please feel free to post your scripts in the comments below.  I hope everyone has as much fun writing their entries as I know I will.

What're you waiting for?! Let's get scripting!

Godzilla - Epilogue: Arizona Bay - R.A. Wonsowski (the American Zombie)

Layout:
111
234
567

Panel 1:  Wide shot.  Monument Valley, Arizona.  Looking West.  Between the monolithic rocks, we can see the Pacific Ocean beyond.  Thanks to Godzilla's rampage fighting magma giants along the San Andreas fault, all of California and Baja California is gone.  The sky is clear and blue.

CAPTION:  ONE YEAR LATER...

CAPTION:  You would think after something like this, we'd be a little smarter.  A little wiser. 

Panel 2:  On a city street, Westboro Church protesters are holding picket signs, mouths open in some chant.  Some picket signs read: "Godzilla Hates Fags", "You Can't Spell GODZILLA Without GOD", "'Zilla 1, L.A. 0".

CAPTION:  Instead, we just crank up the stupid, blind to what history tries to teach us.

Panel 3:  In a boardroom, Japanese businessmen are bowing and shaking hands over contracts with three American lawyers, who look a lot like Gene Hackman, Ned Beatty, and Valerie Perrine from Richard Donner's Superman movie.  Everyone is smiling billion-dollar smiles.

CAPTION:  We're blind, even if we're not looking in the right direction.  And we never suspect who the one-eyed kings are.

Panel 4:  On the new Arizona beach, Monument Valley in the distant background, mourners of all ages and races stand on red rocks, tossing roses, orchids, and lilies into the ocean in rememberance.  The sky is orange from sunset.

CAPTION:  And we choose to be blind.  Blinded by grief, by confusion and anger.  By remembered smoke and ash.

Panel 5:  Starry night, long shot.  A campfire reflects off a cliff-face wall.  People are sitting and standing around it.

CAPTION:  We never see the warning signs.  Abused child becomes abusive parent.  Tiger turns on the tamer.

Panel 6:  Zoom in.  We see the Hopi natives around the campfire, listening intently to their chief, who wears a wide-brimmed black hat, and holds his arms wide.  Behind the chief, an old man paints figures on the cliff wall with a slender brush.

CAPTION:  We create our own monsters, and we're surprised when they turn on us, hungry for our bones.

Panel 7:  Zoom in.  We see that the old man has crudely painted Godzilla stomping through fire and rubble on the cliff wall.  He is just finishing the tail.

CAPTION:  We have only ourselves to blame if we refuse to read the writing on the wall.

FIN

(tip of the hat to Bill Hicks (1961-1994), who inspired this piece...it's just a ride.)

Godzilla: Tournament Of The Immortals - Niel Jacoby

Panel 1: Godzilla, Mechagodzilla, Mecha-King Ghidorah, and a masked giant gorilla are in position in a wrestling ring slapdashed from debris, with bridges as turnbuckles, power lines as ropes, that sort of thing, with Godzilla and the unnamed gorilla in one corner and Mecha-King Ghidorah and Mechagodzilla in the other.

There should be identification captions identifying the combatants as:

Godzilla, Reigning King Of Monsters

King Kaiser, Mysterious Masked Monkey

Mechagodzilla, Revenge-driven Robo-Kaiju

Mecha-King Ghidorah, the Hydraulic Hydra from Hell

Inset panel: 2 commentators are looking up at the ring from a table. One, Exalted Master Thunder Mask, is an aged, spectral masked wrestler still wearing his mask, even when called by the unholy forces of The Futurians to commentate one last match. The other, Gregory Walker, is a straightlaced, besuited type.

Thunder: IN ALL MY YEARS IN PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING, IN THIS REALM AND THE NEXT, I HAVE NEVER SEEN A COLLECTION OF COMPETITORS SO FULL OF FIGHTING SPIRIT! ANY OF THESE FINE FELLOWS COULD SINGLEHANDEDLY DESTROY THIS CITY, AND, IN THE TRUE SPIRIT OF WRESTLING, THEY HAVE CHOSEN TO SETTLE THEIR AFFAIRS IN THE ONLY CIVILIZED WAY!*

Caption: *Translated from the ghostly Japanese

Greg: YES, INDEED! THIS RING, CONSTRUCTED FROM THE RUINS OF TOKYO, SHALL PAY HOST TO THE GREATEST BATTLE NOT ONLY IN THE HISTORY OF WRESTLING, BUT PERHAPS EARTH ITSELF!**

Caption: **Translated from the halting half-remembered high-school Japanese

Panels 2 & 3 should be in a horizontal tier across the page.

Panel 2: The referee straddles his motorcycle on the top of a turnbuckle, tiny in comparison to the kaiju that are about to battle. He is incredibly nervous.

Ref: UH... I WANT A FAIR FIGHT HERE. NO HITS TO... WHATEVER YOU BIG THINGS MIGHT HAVE BELOW YOUR BELTS, NO FOREIGN OBJECTS, NO... INSULTING MOTHERS.***

Caption: Translated from... you get the point.

Panel 3: Back to the announcers.

Thunder: FROM HIS VANTAGE POINT, THE REFEREE WILL MOST LIKELY HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THE RING, DUE TO HIS TINY, TINY HUMAN EYES! THANKFULLY, HE HAS BEEN PROVIDED WITH A SMALL PORTABLE TELEVISION THAT SHOULD BE ABLE TO PICK UP THE FEED FROM OUR CAMERA HELICOPTERS!

Greg: THAT'S RIGHT, EXALTED MASTER THUNDER MASK!

Thunder: PLEASE, JUST CALL ME THUNDER, EXALTED MASTER THUNDER MASK WAS MY FATHER! A-HA-HA-HA!

Greg: OK!

Greg: AS I WAS SAYING, WITH COMBATANTS LIKE THESE, IT IS ABSOLUTELY CRUCIAL TO ADHERE TO THE RULES OF PROPER SPORTSMANSHIP!

Ryu: INDEED!

Panel 4: We see the whole ring from the viewpoint of the referee, with Godzilla and Mechagodzilla in the ring, and the unseen gorilla and Mecha-King Ghidorah in their teammates' corners.

Ref(OP): AAAAAAND...

Ref(OP): FIGHT!

SFX: DINGDINGDING!

Panel 5: Godzilla Tiger-suplexes Mechagodzilla into the mat.

(Reference: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suplex#Tiger_suplex)

SFX: THPPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTCCCHHH!

Inset panel: Announcers table. Exalted Master Thunder Mask is just flipping out, while Greg is still stunned, but just wide-eyed, slack-jawed stunned.

Ryu: AND THE MATCH BEGINS WITH A BRUTAL TIGER SUPLEX BY GODZILLA!

Yep, could not resist that closing line.

Godzilla - The Ultimate WMD - J.D. Coughlan

Three regular panels across the top, one large panel dominating the page.


Panel 1: The Oval Office. The President looks tired, beaten. He half-reads some files while listening to his advisors.

ADVISOR 1: The entire west coast has been seized, as well as most of the farm belt. And they're still advancing.

ADVISOR 2: This is an enemy the likes of which we have never faced before. We need to take drastic measures.

Panel 2: The President looks out his window. He is lost.

NO DIALOGUE

Panel 3: The President, from behind, still looking out the window.

PRESIDENT: Very well. We have no other option...

Panel 4: Large. Godzilla is suspended in a gigantic glass tank full of liquid, connected to various tubes. Walkways circle the tank, which many scientists going about their dark business.

PRESIDENT (CAP): Unleash Godzilla.

END OF PAGE.


END OF ISSUE.

Godzilla – One Giant Step – Shaun Richens.

PAGE ONE

1,2,3 Are the top row. 4 makes up half the page and 5 is a page wide panel at the bottom.

1. A MAN stands in the middle of the road. It is late at night and the streetlights are the only source of lighting. In his hand the MAN is holding his cell phone up recording something.

NO COPY

2. We pull back slightly. We can now see the MAN is stood in the middle of a crater in the middle of the main road, he is still filming something but as yet we cannot see what it is.

         NO COPY

3. We have pulled back far enough now to see the MAN is stood in a crater made by some giant foot. The footprint is massive; the MAN seems tiny compared to it. The print is reptilian with three long toes. He is holding his cell phone up to film still.

         NO COPY

4. A half page splash. We are now positioned in the footprint crater with the MAN. We are positioned behind him, finally looking at whatever it is he is filming. Dominating the panel is the huge form of GODZILLA towering over the city around him. (He is in London so it would be great to have one of the big landmarks in the background somewhere) On the MANs phone screen we can see he is zoomed in on GOZILLAs head, his huge jaw wide open.

         GODZILLA

         Skreeonnnk!

5. A page wide panel. We are on a youtube like video site. The image from the young mans camera phone makes up the image in the video box out. The video is titled. Godzilla In London. It has a five star rating and 9,723,231 Views, under which it says uploaded 2 minutes 33 seconds ago. 

Godzilla – Godzilla: Tales of Destruction – MK Stangeland Jr.

(DR. FRY and PROFESSOR YAMAMOTO, two scientists working on solving the ‘Godzilla problem’, are in San Francisco when Godzilla attacks the City. DR. FRY hast just unveiled his plan for dealing with the monster – a GODZILLA clone.)

(5 Panels)

Panel 1: DR. FRY looks through a binoculars at GODZILLA and GODZILLA II try to make sense of meeting one another. PROFESSOR YAMAMOTO, standing nearby, is hysterical over this discovery.

PROFESSOR YAMAMOTO: YOU CLONE GODZILLA?! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!

Panel 2: Panel is instead behind DR. FRY and PROFESSOR YAMAMOTO, allowing GODZILLA and GODZILLA II to be seen in the background charging towards one another.

DR. FRY looks to PROFESSOR YAMAMOTO and raises his arm in the air triumphantly. He has a smile on his face that is filled with an absolutely ridiculous level of glee.

DR. FRY (1): Why else?

DR. FRY (2): FOR SCIENCE!

Panel 3: Panel faces inwards again. PROFESSOR YAMAMOTO delivers a massive dope slap to the back of DR. FRY’s head, causing his eyes to go wide and the binoculars to fly out of his hands.

PROFESSOR YAMAMOTO (1): You are SO STUPID!

PROFESSOR YAMAMOTO (2): That is TERRIBLE REASON!

Panel 4: Interior panel looking out. PROFESSOR YAMAMOTO shouts at DR. FRY.

In the background, both GODZILLA and GODZILLA II can be seen powering up their atomic breath.

PROFESSOR YAMAMOTO: You have any idea how much destruction they will cause?!

DR. FRY: But in the process, they’ll either kill each other or the one left standing will be so weak we can kill it with ease!

Panel 5: Both DR. FRY and PROFESSOR YAMAMOTO look out as they hear both GODZILLA and GODZILLA II firing their atomic breath at one another.

SFX: GuiZZZZZZZZ!

(END PAGE)